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My family has abandoned me

mardibra
Posts: 10
Joined: Sep 2012

I have read so many stories of how families rally around their family member with cancer. My situation couldn't be more different. I feel that my family has abandoned me. I am single and I have a mom and three older brothers. All are local except for one brother. When I was first diagnosed I told my brothers. The two who are local told me that I couldn't tell my mother because it would just be too much for her to handle after my Dads death a year earlier. I could not believe what they were saying to me! Not tell my mom? Reluctantly I agreed to hold off on telling her until after my lumpectomy surgery when I had a definitive treatment plan. After surgery (which I went to by myself) it was determined that I would need chemo, a mastectomy, and radiation. In my mind, it was time to tell my mom. I told my two local brothers that they needed to join me for the "discussion". In my mind, they needed to be there for their mom. I had to practically drag them there. They did not want me to tell her but I had to....I was going to need help. Although we had the discussion, my brother completely downplayed the whole thing and said that I had surgery and I was now fine. What???? I was so stunned I couldn't say anything. I was days from my first chemo treatment. I left my moms house in a daze. I started chemo a few days later. I attended every chemo treatment by myself. My brothers never offered to join me, never offered me help that I desperately needed. They did nothing. I was all alone. There were some days during Taxol where I had really bad pain and if I had a bullet and a gun I would have used it. I had to lie to my mother and tell her that I was traveling on business so she wouldn't call me. I would not have been able to hide my pain in my voice. My other brother did his best from 500 miles away. He called all the time, sent me flowers, etc. He and I eventually decided to tell my mom because I was going to need help after my mastectomy. He flew into town and we told my mom. It wasn't easy but it was finally done. I was so bitter about my brothers behavior that I told my mom that they abandoned me...they did nothing. My mom had a reaction that floored me...she defended them. It was like a knife in the gut. I could not believe what I was hearing. Needless to say, my relationship with my family is broken. Im wondering if I ever had one to begin with. I would not treat a stranger the way they have treated me. I am so hurt and so bitter. Im crying like a baby as I write this. Please tell me someone else has gone through this? Please tell me I'm not the only one?

debsweb18
Posts: 190
Joined: Jun 2012

I think you have a right to be hurt. I couldn't have made it through without my family's help. My siblings and parents don't live near me, but my cousin and aunt brought me food a few times. How old are your brothers? Maybe they just don't know how much help you need. I don't think my sons who are in their 20s did, but I also didn't ask for help. They would have if I asked. If you haven't already, maybe you could sit down with them and let them know how you feel and that you need support. Some people just don't know how to act when they're scared for their loved ones. They may be putting their heads in the sand pretending like there's nothing wrong with you.

If you don't get the support you need from them, you'll get it here!

Deb

mardibra
Posts: 10
Joined: Sep 2012

My brothers are 49, 51, 60. Old enough I would say. When the 49 year old was getting divorced I was there for him. He even lived with me for a couple of months.

I don't even know if I could sit down with them. Im so bitter and angry I don't want to. Maybe I will get over this in time. I dunno. I normally host Thanksgiving. Not anymore!

New Flower
Posts: 3938
Joined: Aug 2009

I am sorry. I Am also surprised that your oncology clinic allowed you to drive and never asked you if you have support and help at home. Your faraway Brother was supporting you and helped whe your were undergoing mastectomy therefore you still have family people who love you and care for you.
Unfortunately some people need told what to do and how to behave. In the future please reach out and ask for help
While I have a very supportive husband, he did not go with me to my first consultation with breast surgeon and MO. We did not think that patient could bring family.
I believe if you write a letter to your Mom explaining about your feeling how hard your treatment was she will understand
Please stay here speak about your feelings and cancer journey you will find support and understanding

Faith1122
Posts: 46
Joined: May 2012

That you have had to go through this alone! I would say for your brothers that maybe men really do not know how to react & maybe your mom doesn't either? I don't have an answer for you but I have a sister who has done awful things to me & we do not speak anymore. All I can say is remember you are worth more than that & you can get through this! come to this board when you need support. ((hugs)))

DebbyM's picture
DebbyM
Posts: 3294
Joined: Oct 2009

I am sorry beyond words that this happened. I wish I could reach thru this computer and give you a big hug to let you know that you aren't alone. We are here for you, 24/7. Please remember that!

Hugs, Debby

Faith1122
Posts: 46
Joined: May 2012

That you have had to go through this alone! I would say for your brothers that maybe men really do not know how to react & maybe your mom doesn't either? I don't have an answer for you but I have a sister who has done awful things to me & we do not speak anymore. All I can say is remember you are worth more than that & you can get through this! come to this board when you need support. ((hugs)))

MAJW
Posts: 2515
Joined: May 2009

I am so sorry you feel so alone....the only thing in can say is that men are "fixers" and they can't fix this....and your Mom's feelings came first to them...perhaps due to the recent death of your father...is her health good?..........who knows...they have to live with themselves....which doesn't help you, though....I must say I am shocked that you were allowed to have a lumpectomy without a driver...unless you told them you did, otherwise they would have cancelled it...plus it was dangerous for you...your Mother's defense of your brothers, I can't explain that either,unless she didn't want to know...being the mother of a grown daughter, I can understand her fear...her 'baby girl" has breast cancer...I am grateful that it's me and not her...

My heart breaks for you...trying to explain people's reaction to bc......I gave up on that a long time ago...I can't relate to not having my family's support ...I have no parents nor siblings but a caring husband and grown kids....I've been in this battle with bc on and off for 3 years....but I have certainly lost friends..so be it..Please reach out to friends for help..you'll need it...you can't do this without help, PLEASE reach out...

We can't help you physically but we can certainly offer our support, encouraging words and first hand experience...the women on this board are fantastic! and in every phase of bc and treatment and remission, even....you can call your local chapter of the American Cancer Society for help also...they offer all sorts of services...rides, a local mentor...each cancer center offers a social worker who can help with your needs...if you belong to a church reach out to the members...don't be ashamed to ask for help...we all need it...bc is an emotional roller coaster...

More pink sisters will chime in, I know...some have experienced the same feelings of abandonment..and maybe of more help than I....

Please keep posting...we care very much..
Hugs, Nancy

ladyg's picture
ladyg
Posts: 1577
Joined: Apr 2010

to hear you do not have any family support. To me it was really important that my family was there for me. Even my sister, who I really didn't want to tell. She was dealing with her daughters' cancer at the time but she was still supportive.
Are there any support groups in your area? Maybe you could find some help there. Of course we are all here for you any time you need us.

Hugs,
Georgia

hope4thebest's picture
hope4thebest
Posts: 108
Joined: Aug 2012

My family reacted very much the same way, you are not the only one. Please know that they probably do really care, but are not capable of expressing their concern, or fear. Each family has its own dynamic. In my case, I think my mom is in a certain level of denial. Denial is powerful and a natural defense mechanism. Another element that comes into play, especially among siblings, may be that we reflect their own mortality. I am sorry for the passing of your father last year, any new potential trauma can cause those feelings of loss to resurface. Your siblings seem to have gone into silent panic.
No, I am not defending their lack of action, but trying to explain why. It's common, unfortunately. My boyfriend quietly lurked out of the picture after learning about my diagnosis. It is disappointing, but try to funnel your energy towards healing. Concentrate on the thoughtful brother, for he is truly there for you. I hope you eventually find a support group, it is amazing how much other women can understand us so well. These feelings of shock are harder on us single ladies because there is not another person validating us, but I am here to tell you, you are very important!! Try to keep as positive as you can and do your own thing; everyone deals with things on different levels. Previously, I was very concerned with others' thoughts, reactions, behavior; now after dealing with my own battle against BC, I put me first. Sure, it would be nice to have the folks rally around, but we are the only ones who hold the power to fight this disease. Thank you for bringing this up. Please keep writing and let these feelings out. We are here for you. You just gained many new friends, welcome to our club.

deeb111
Posts: 139
Joined: May 2011

i dont know why people act in this manner but they do if you have good friend to lean on do so hope your situation improves if you lived in my area i would say get together and talk try to help no one should face this beast alone

dee

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2119
Joined: Jun 2010

At the time of diagnosed, I was single (divorced) with two teenage sons. Two and half months earlier a minor surgery turned into a staph infection that nearly cost my life. My parents, sister and two brothers all live out-of-state. I have no relatives who even remotely lived near me. I relied on friends when I really had no choice.

I never have anyone with me for appointments, tests or treatments. I don’t even tell anyone that I will have a scan and only after I have the results and a solution (if one is needed) and only if I feel they need to know. Surgeries are a problem as one does need someone to take them home. That is when I call my friends. Usually it will be two, one to take me and one to bring me home. Especially important if it is an out-patient procedure. No one has to hang around a hospital waiting. When I have been hospitalized (infections) I drove myself.

I work full time and did so throughout my treatments. I do believe that you should take time to heal. I have never taken the full time allotted by my employer. I believe strongly that the sooner you are back to the normal routine, the sooner you will feel better.

I’m telling you my story so that you know that this is all doable on your own. I have learned over the years that the only people who understand what you are now going are those who have had the experience a diagnose with breast cancer and all it implies. Your family, your friends will understand a bit at first but soon it becomes “old news” and they are not interested in all the finer points that we, who have and are going through it understand.

You do have one brother who seems to have a lot of empathy for your predicament. Your two other brothers had more for your mother’s status as grieving widow and don’t seem to want to understand what has happen to you. You can’t infuse them with “caring”. You attacked your brothers and your mother felt a need to defend them. This must have been the family dynamics through the years.

It isn’t easy but you can get through this on your own. I did and am all the stronger for it. Ideally, the best situation is to have a spouse who is loving and caring. Since you nor I have that, then we have to make the best of the situation as it is. I believe you can.

Best to you,

Doris

mardibra
Posts: 10
Joined: Sep 2012

Im so delighted for all your responses. I have been handling this by myself for over a year now and I'm sure I will continue. I know I can do this because I have been doing it! However, I am so so hurt by my family, mostly my mom. I used to say to people all the time "nobody loves you like your mother does". And I believed it! You could have knocked me over with a feather when my mom defended my brothers. Denial or not, it hurts like hell. I just had my one year anniversary since my diagnosis. I think its all coming to the surface now because of that. I have already decided that I am bowing out of the holidays this year. No way I can sit and eat and pretend to be happy with them.

So, thanks again for all your kind words ladies....it really helps. There is a special place in heaven for each of you!

deeb111
Posts: 139
Joined: May 2011

the most understanding you will get will be from those who share the same experience
nothing is old to us cause we know of the lingering effects phyiscaly and emotionaly some of which never leave
so do know you can vent here cause we will listen and we do understand
good luck once again

deeb

deeb111
Posts: 139
Joined: May 2011

the most understanding you will get will be from those who share the same experience
nothing is old to us cause we know of the lingering effects phyiscaly and emotionaly some of which never leave
so do know you can vent here cause we will listen and we do understand
good luck once again

deeb

laughs_a_lot's picture
laughs_a_lot
Posts: 1368
Joined: Mar 2011

Perhaps the two uncaring brothers felt they had to do a lot of work with mom over the death of dad. Also they could fear thier own mortatlity when hearing about your diagnosis. Cancer does not discriminate and they (we hope not) might face the same fate some day. They may have had co workers with cancer and have seen the results of that. If you have always been a pilar of strength, this would scare the begeebuz out of them. Mom might fear that if you do not survive your cancer then she will not be able to count on you, her only daughter as she ages.

Does any of this excuse those reactions? By no means. You may find a way to forgive them given time. However now is the time to take good care of yourself. If you are a church member please solicit help from your church family. Do you have a hobby or social club? This is another place to look. Co workers and even ex husbands (yes occasionally even an ex hubby)can be sources of little kindnesses that keep you keeping on.

If the kids are older it is a lot easier as they can pick up a bit of your work in the short run. There is also "Cleaning with a purpose" that helps people who need housework done. I know others know of this organization. Hope they chime in.

MsGebby's picture
MsGebby
Posts: 659
Joined: Oct 2011

I want to add my sympathy for those in your family who are running from your disease.

I know what you are going through. Been there. What has finally come to light (for me anyway) is that family members can be scared too. Their actions are not to be condoned. No way. But some people cannot handle this sort of thing. For me, my brothers (all 7 of them) seem to think that I am a very strong gal and I can do this. I won't go into detail about their actions but I will say that I was devastated by them. It's taken me quite a while to figure out that they still love me but they just don't get it.

My heart breaks for you. Have you tried a support group? Believe me, I understand that the most important support group SHOULD BE family, but many of us have found out that sometimes it's just not possible. I found my new family through friends. I swear, it was such an eye opener as these friends stepped forward to offer support as I went through treatments. They never left my side. My other new family is right here ... my pink sisters.

Although you might be saying to yourself "but I need my family right now", you might want to start saying "my new family is waiting for me somewhere". It hurts, I know. But you will find a way to move forward and forgive (yes...it will happen) a family who does love you despite their actions. I learned to never to depend on mine again but I will always be there for them and love them. I do have a sister and my father who have always been here for me, too. So that's a blessing.

Please have faith. Just try to move forward and know that you are loved and special.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It just shows us how much more special we all are on this board.

Hugs,
Mary

ESDC
Posts: 43
Joined: Sep 2012

I'm stunned to read your story and my heart goes out to you. I understand that grief does terrible things to people, and only time will help your family's wounds, but you must be totally crushed; as anyone would.

I must admit that when I got my diagnosis it wasn't until after my surgery that I told my family. I was worried what it would do to my parents, who are both in their very late 70s, and somehow I felt if no-one knew I could cope better. To a certain extent this is still true as I've only told immediate family, and only then given the barest of details.
I suppose alot of people wouldn't understand this coping mechanism, and my in-laws did feel 'shut out', but I had to do what worked for me. Of course this is totally my own choice, and a very selfish one at that.

What I'm trying to say is that perhaps your family's VERY CRUEL reaction is their way of coping. They're pulling down the shutters on stress as they just can't cope with anymore. I'm not saying it is anyway right, or an acceptable reaction, but it's probably just pure raw emotion, at its worst. You're all having the most horrendous time in your lives and you being diagnosed is just too much; not that it isn't for you too. Doesn't the saying go that we hurt the ones we love the most.

You'll certainly not get any cruel reactions on here. You'll make a whole new circle of the kindest, caring friends who'll help you through this and not abandon you when you need it most.

Sending you heaps of support, love and hugs.

Eliza xxxx

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5276
Joined: Oct 2010

wow I am so so sorry...we will all be here for your! I can't imagine your hurt from your brothers and THEN from your mom. Thank goodness you have your long distance brother! I am also sorry you have to go through this alone.

Have you checked with your local cancer society? or social worker?

Thinking of you..

Denise

DebbyM's picture
DebbyM
Posts: 3294
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so very sorry and want you to know that WE are all here for you! Please reach out to someone, the ACS, a church, someone.

Big hugs,

Debby

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5276
Joined: Oct 2010

I am just checking in with you to see how things are going? I have been thinking of you...

Denise

belindar's picture
belindar
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2012

I am so sorry for the way your family reacted. I am sorry to say that I have heard of this happening before and it seems to be a knee jerk reaction (they're scared and don't know what to do).

Have you checked to see if there are any breast cancer support groups in your area? This would be a great source of support and help. I know the group I belong to has been great for me.

mardibra
Posts: 10
Joined: Sep 2012

...Is all of you! Very helpful...more than you can ever know. My birthday is Monday so Im going to try and focus on good things and having a little fun. I hope you all enjoy your weekend and have a little fun yourselves. Feel good about yourselves because you have made me smile.

Ctine70's picture
Ctine70
Posts: 150
Joined: Sep 2012

I am so sorry that you feel abandon by your family, I am sure that they must be scared for you and not sure how to act. I too felt abandon by certain family members I even had one tll me that I didn't need chemo and chose to put myself through that hell.
Just know that you are strong and will get Through this. Find strength in all of us here and close friends.
Have you told your brothers and mom how you are feeling? I found that sometimes we need to be a little selfish and let our families
Know that we aren't always as strong as we seem and we do need help and support.
I hope you are doing well with your treatment and I wish you all the best
Hugs
Christine

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

and not only does my heart go out to you, but I can relate. My husband, parents and a few other loved ones have been very supportive. But there are close friends and family members who hav disappeared out of my life after this diagnosis. Even the ones who I have specifically asked if they could be there for me in a particular way, have found a way to not be there. It causes me SO much pain and anxiety that I literally feel it in my body. This can't be good for someone dealing with cancer. So I am trying so hard not to care, or to find the support elsewhere (here). But not a day goes by that I don't feel hurt by the abandonment.

I think there are several possible reasons for it, all of which were mentioned above. Either they are scared or troubled by the thought of their own mortality. Or they are simply caught up in their own lives and don't know what they can do or say. So...what can we do, but get what we need wherever we can (here), make new relationships and appreciate the ones that are still by our side, and get on with healing and living.

Thoughts and prayers to you, my sister.

rallendorfer
Posts: 245
Joined: May 2012

Did you have some cake and ice cream? Did you make a wish and blow out the candles (you didn't need a fire extinguisher did you?) When I made a birthday wish this year it wasn't as shallow as those in years gone by. What did you do that was fun?

You are trying to turn this loss into something good. That is the way to happiness. When I dwell on those that have turned away from me I become bitter...have you noticed you just can't seem to smile after thinking on it? Its just best to find joy in the ones that we DO have. I have 3 dogs too, that lift my spirits every day!

Happy Birthday!
Sending love and hugs,
Rebecca

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5276
Joined: Oct 2010

checking back to see how things are going for you...

Denise

mardibra
Posts: 10
Joined: Sep 2012

I wrote my mom a 6 page letter and told her everything that happened from day one...all the details. On the day she received the letter she showed up at my house unannounced. She apologized profusely saying she didn't know just how bad things were and she didn't know that my brothers had treated me so badly. She copied my letter and sent it to my brothers. They should have received the letter yesterday so this weekend is going to be interesting.

I feel so much better since writing that letter! I'm hopeful that things will get better from this point. Who knows.

Thank you ladies...you've been such a great help!

Attygirl's picture
Attygirl
Posts: 121
Joined: Jun 2012

That took courage!
So happy to hear she responded well!
I bet you do feel A LOT better!
So happy to hear that!
Let us know abot the guys...
X0

New Flower
Posts: 3938
Joined: Aug 2009

thank you for sharing your good new, re-united with your Mother. Make sure your supportive brother feels appreciated and get a 1 year anniversary Thank you card too.
As for a Thanksgiving dinner, this year will be very hard for you to pull it together as you are still recovering from your treatments. Take care of yourself first and let others host the dinner.
Hugs

hope4thebest's picture
hope4thebest
Posts: 108
Joined: Aug 2012

Good job telling them how it is. Sometimes we need to spell it out, literally. It takes alot of courage to face what we have been through, writing it up sounds like a nice release. It is a perfect time to plan for the holidays, let them host this year.

In my case, I think other people need to be reminded of my condition-- first of all they cannot feel what we do, secondly, they get used to it, while we endure it. I am 16 mos out as a bc survivor and most of the people in my life avoid me and do not want to talk about it. I think they just don't know what to say. Ignorance is bliss.

In the absence of some, I have re-established other very fulfilling relationships with some old friends, and am grateful for those timeless relationships that can sustain even these tough times. A few good people is far more important than a full staff. Less is more.

Annie

mardibra
Posts: 10
Joined: Sep 2012

"In my case, I think other people need to be reminded of my condition-- first of all they cannot feel what we do, secondly, they get used to it, while we endure it."

Well said!

Alexis F's picture
Alexis F
Posts: 3604
Joined: May 2009

I am glad that you wrote the letter and that your Mother finally understood. I hope your Brothers will too. They need to support and help you. Very happy that you feel better!

Hugs, Lex

Eleanor1's picture
Eleanor1
Posts: 68
Joined: Sep 2012

I am so sorry to hear about this...I am new to this and just got diagnosed and I wouldn't know what to do if this will happen to me. I pray that you will stronger, as healthy as can be so you get better. I will pray for you !

Lynn Smith
Posts: 1265
Joined: Mar 2011

This is sad about your family.My sons don't worry much till I get real sick but I have to be real sick.I don't remembe tellng them.Not at first till I was sure it was cancer and when my surgery would be.Husband was the only one who went for the surgery.I prefer my sons work and husband's one sister is in Michigan and the other lives close to us but has lots of medical problems.

I was dx with Stage 0 DCIS.Non invasive.I didn't have chemo or radiation.Just a lumpectomy.I remember telling my husband he had to take off work for the surgery.He of course was.Then he planned to go back to work the next day.I made sure he understood my doctor told me I needed help that day.So he stayed home but I had to make him.Our son and daughter moved into our camper behind our house the same day as my surgery.Husband spent more time talking to them and not looking out for me.I did the dishes etc.I was slow but managed.I guess I just do the things and don't ask for help. I've changed because the last few weeks I've had a severe case of bronchitis.I didn't do much like dishes etc.He did them.I finally decided if he wants a clean house with me so sick then he'll have to do it.When he's sick I clean!!!!!

Please stay with us and post about your journey.We all care and wish you the best.Maybe there is someone on the Board who lives in your state you can talk to.I've had friends/relatives who have had breast cancer.Sister just dx.Also 2 friends a mother and niece.4 of us in our family have been dx with breast cancer.My Mom was a 60 year survivor dx at 21. Passed away in 2011.

Wishing you the best.Very sorry about yuur family.Sounds like the brother who lives the farthest is the most supporative. Ashame he doesn't live closer.

Lynn Smith

hope4thebest's picture
hope4thebest
Posts: 108
Joined: Aug 2012

Dishes seem to be 'easy' but in reality, we use all those breast muscles. Take it easy on the dishes!!! Try to speak up and tell the younger relatives to help out, be specific, and tell them that repetitive movements and bending over the sink are painful! For me, I still have problems with these dishes, and need to take a break. I had no idea how much that simple task was taxing my body.
Have compassion for yourself. You have been through alot. I don't have a husband, but I am sure he would not understand. I hope he comes around as he is also dealing with the shock of the diagnosis.

Much aloha,
Annie

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5276
Joined: Oct 2010

I just checked for update...

GOOD for you...I am sure feels great to have it all out...

good thoughts heading your way

Denise

Shonique
Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2012

My heart goes out to you. I knew I would not have much support from my family but the fact that some of my siblings have never called me is still not only astonishing but so hurtful. It has been almost a year since I heard from my Mother. Truly sad. Their reaction was like out of sight out of mind.

I did have support though. My girls, as I call them, were amazing. Two of my best friends made me a priority.....everyday. I never went to an appointment or treatment alone. Those ladies took such good care of me that it makes me even more ashamed of my family.

It sounds like things are going to be fine for you and your family. I pray they will be. I am trying to forgive my family and at times I think I have and then the anger comes back. In time there will be forgiveness even though reconciliation is not possible.

Best of luck to you.

helen e's picture
helen e
Posts: 222
Joined: Sep 2009

I know how you feel. Three weeks before my diagnosis my mother-in-law died. Through the lupmectomy and mastectomy my husband told me 6 different times that because of my cancer he couldn't mourn his mother. Like I asked to have cancer. Then he lost his job right before my mastectomy and was off work for 15 months. While I was recovering from a tram flap reconstruction he hurt his back and I had to take care of him. Almost 3 years later we are still not doing very well. At least he now admits that he was there physically but not emotionally for me. He would leave late at night to go hang with his buddies while I went to bed alone. At least I had my brothers, sisters and parents there for me. I knew that if I needed anything they'd be there in a second.
I am so sorry that your mother was not there for you. When we are sick, even as adults all we want is our mothers to comfort us. I know that when I get sick I would call my mom just to hear her voice. Know that we are here for you, you are now a part of our family and you can vent, ask questions or anything else you feel like doing here and you will not be judged. We have all been where you are and understand what you are going through. You are not alone!! I will pray for you. Take care. Sending many hugs for you.
Helen

BPSiam
Posts: 1
Joined: Jun 2014

I also have a brother who hides between the proverbial tree - rarely, if ever, does he ask how I am or visits me or calls me - only when he wants something does he even bother to pick up the phone - and he lives a half-hour away! The idea that he is too busy just doesn't fly with me anymore. I am so sorry that you have had to go through a similar experience - abandonment from adults old enough to know better is a bitter dose to swallow. I am brand-new to this site and agree with everyone here who is sharing their support and hugs with you - know that I understand and send cheer and comfort your way - if you don't feel like celebrating with your biological family, that's OK - celebrate with your friends, who oftentimes can be more like your family than your own family, because you get to choose who you want to be part of your family. I hurt for awhile when I think of my brother's abandonment and then I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again, leaving him and my expectations of him behind - it takes a while to grieve the loss - give yourself permission to do so. Thank you for sharing your story with us. 

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5276
Joined: Oct 2010

so sorry...to hear...

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5276
Joined: Oct 2010

Hi-I just stopped in to see if things are going better? Thinking of you..

Denise

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