Sep 08, 2012 - 9:16 pm
I have read so many stories of how families rally around their family member with cancer. My situation couldn't be more different. I feel that my family has abandoned me. I am single and I have a mom and three older brothers. All are local except for one brother. When I was first diagnosed I told my brothers. The two who are local told me that I couldn't tell my mother because it would just be too much for her to handle after my Dads death a year earlier. I could not believe what they were saying to me! Not tell my mom? Reluctantly I agreed to hold off on telling her until after my lumpectomy surgery when I had a definitive treatment plan. After surgery (which I went to by myself) it was determined that I would need chemo, a mastectomy, and radiation. In my mind, it was time to tell my mom. I told my two local brothers that they needed to join me for the "discussion". In my mind, they needed to be there for their mom. I had to practically drag them there. They did not want me to tell her but I had to....I was going to need help. Although we had the discussion, my brother completely downplayed the whole thing and said that I had surgery and I was now fine. What???? I was so stunned I couldn't say anything. I was days from my first chemo treatment. I left my moms house in a daze. I started chemo a few days later. I attended every chemo treatment by myself. My brothers never offered to join me, never offered me help that I desperately needed. They did nothing. I was all alone. There were some days during Taxol where I had really bad pain and if I had a bullet and a gun I would have used it. I had to lie to my mother and tell her that I was traveling on business so she wouldn't call me. I would not have been able to hide my pain in my voice. My other brother did his best from 500 miles away. He called all the time, sent me flowers, etc. He and I eventually decided to tell my mom because I was going to need help after my mastectomy. He flew into town and we told my mom. It wasn't easy but it was finally done. I was so bitter about my brothers behavior that I told my mom that they abandoned me...they did nothing. My mom had a reaction that floored me...she defended them. It was like a knife in the gut. I could not believe what I was hearing. Needless to say, my relationship with my family is broken. Im wondering if I ever had one to begin with. I would not treat a stranger the way they have treated me. I am so hurt and so bitter. Im crying like a baby as I write this. Please tell me someone else has gone through this? Please tell me I'm not the only one?