Sorry for My Absence!
Hello Everyone, both newbies and veterans here! I'm sure some of you thought I had disappeared for good, but I am here to let you know that's not the case! I really have no good reasons for my absence, other than to say that I have found the break quite beneficial. I am on a total of 3 support sites and I think getting away from it for awhile has been good. That is not to say that I haven't thought of all of my friends here!
My mother had a stroke in October 2019 and passed away a week later. We were in the midst of making plans to build a new home and that got pushed aside while I dealt with her final arrangements and then began the process of settling her estate, which is still ongoing. When we finally got back to working with our builder on the new house, things seemed to be settling down. Then in January 2020, my husband had a colonoscopy (3 years after his previous one when non-cancerous polyps were removed). There were a few benign polyps removed, but then at the location of his appendix there was something protruding into his colon from the outside, which could not be removed during the scope. He was referred to a surgeon and we went in with the hopes that this was benign, based upon the opinion of the doctor who did the scope. My husband had surgery in February last year, which was to remove his appendix and 5 inches of large intestine on each side of the appendix, and of course the mass, which thankfully turned out to be benign. After a period of adjusting to more frequent trips to the bathroom (I can relate!), he has done very well and seems no worse for the wear. And the upside is he has lost quite a bit of weight, which he needed to lose anyway.
So right after his hospitalization, Covid-19 took over all our lives and it's been a struggle for me mentally. I am a people person and how I've missed going out with friends, having dinner in a restaurant on Friday nights, all the things that I'm sure some of you have missed too. Things were getting done on my mom's estate, then when Covid-19 hit, that all came to a screeching halt as well. No more face-to-face meetings with the attorney meant having to do a lot of the work myself. Not being an attorney, it's been challenging, but the end is near, I hope!
And then there's the house, which was supposed to take about 8 months to build. Well that turned into more like 14 months to build and there are still things left to be done, even though we have moved in and are pretty settled. Building a house is not for the faint of heart or non-patient (which describes me perfectly), especially during a global pandemic. It's led to a lot of stress, but things are much better! We sold our other home quickly, so that was a huge sigh of relief!
So, I still have no excuses for my absence, but at least you know I'm still around. More gray hair these days and less energy for workouts, but I'm still here. I know there are many of you who want to hear from long-term survivors (I underwent treatment in 2008) such as myself, so I will give you an update on my current status.
I still have bowel issues and I noticed today there is a discussion on here about mucous discharge with BM's and after. Well, that's me these days. It began last fall and has continued since. I occasionally have some blood with hard BM's and I know I'm guilty of not drinking enough water, which doesn't help. My last colonoscopy was a few years ago and was all good and I am not sure if or when I will have another one. I feel good and think the issues I experience are probably normal, such as bloating and gas, not being able to tolerate some foods, and what I've already mentioned. I feel very fortunate to be considered a long-term survivor and hope to stick around awhile longer.
I would like to mention my friend here whose name is Katheryn. We have communicated on this site for quite a few years and she is a dear. She recently posted an update and she really has been through so very much, including recently losing her husband and having lost her home due to a fire. Reading her recent post put a lot of things in perspective for me. She and so many of you are dealing with so very much. I hope everyone currently going through treatment or dealing with post-treatment issues will keep their head up and not be discouraged. Katheryn is a shining example of continuing to just put one foot in front of the other and marching on. Treatment is rough, no one will argue with that, but so many of us have done it! Take it one day or one minute at a time, whatever works for you. You can do it! I wish each and every one of you the very best!
Martha
Comments
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Martha!
So glad to see you back on here! I have rarely posted but in the beginning of my journey starting on sept 13th, 2010, you were a wealth of info and calmed my fears a couple times. In those early days of remission, if you get a hangnail, you think the Cancer is back. I have been getting in here every couple months to see if you were back or if there was any word on you because you were so active. I was slightly worried and don't even know you, really, but we are fellow survivors , with about the same amount of remission. I am sorry you and your husband have had some trials but so glad to see you are fine
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jcorumjcorum said:Martha!
So glad to see you back on here! I have rarely posted but in the beginning of my journey starting on sept 13th, 2010, you were a wealth of info and calmed my fears a couple times. In those early days of remission, if you get a hangnail, you think the Cancer is back. I have been getting in here every couple months to see if you were back or if there was any word on you because you were so active. I was slightly worried and don't even know you, really, but we are fellow survivors , with about the same amount of remission. I am sorry you and your husband have had some trials but so glad to see you are fine
Hi! Thank you for your kind words! I so appreciate that! I hope all is well with you in these weird and worrying times. I think it's put a strain on everyone. I find that the further out I get from my treatment, the less I even think about it, but I hope to check in here a little more often than in the past. Thanks for your concern for me, but I believe I am doing fine! Take good care!
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MP327
Hi Martha,
it sounds like you have actually have had rather a lot going on! So glad to hear that you and your husband are doing ok despite worrying times. Covid-19 has helped us realise what is of value to us. Definitely seeing friends and family are top of the list for me. i have always worked full time and thought that retirement would allow me more opportunity to meet with my friends! It hasn't quite worked out like that.....yet anyway. Hopefully we will resume some semblance of normal life. Hubby and I have had both doses of the vaccine and I can't wait for my daughter and son in law to have theirs. my daughter is a primary school teacher and it's impossible to socially distance plus with 30 children in the classtoom it's impossible!
Martha I have missed your presence here, but understand the need to take a step back.
Take care dear friendLiz
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Hi Liz!pializ said:MP327
Hi Martha,
it sounds like you have actually have had rather a lot going on! So glad to hear that you and your husband are doing ok despite worrying times. Covid-19 has helped us realise what is of value to us. Definitely seeing friends and family are top of the list for me. i have always worked full time and thought that retirement would allow me more opportunity to meet with my friends! It hasn't quite worked out like that.....yet anyway. Hopefully we will resume some semblance of normal life. Hubby and I have had both doses of the vaccine and I can't wait for my daughter and son in law to have theirs. my daughter is a primary school teacher and it's impossible to socially distance plus with 30 children in the classtoom it's impossible!
Martha I have missed your presence here, but understand the need to take a step back.
Take care dear friendLiz
How nice to hear from you! It sounds like you are doing well and congratulations on your retirement! Life certainly is different during current times, but I have hope that enough of us will get the vaccine to allow us to enjoy "normal" life again. Thank you for understanding my break from this site. I just needed a break for awhile.
May your daughter and SIL get the vaccine soon so you can enjoy face to face time! I hope you all stay healthy and safe from the virus! Take care!
Martha
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Nice to hear from you again
In the beginning of my treatment I was on this site daily. Read just about every comment. I too have been away from the site for quite awhile but I feel that it is a GOOD sign. A sign that maybe I don't dwell on the fact that I have cancer issues and can get involved in other things more. Of course there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not reminded of it but I'm finding that I can deal with it. Between COVID, losing my mother (in fact, today is the one year anniversary of losing my mom), mother-in-law, selling our house in FL and moving to TX (just in time for a winter storm with no power for 4 days) and finally finding another house (busy doing renovations)......I haven't checked on here. But, I remember how much this site has helped me when I first found out about my cancer and hope one day I can be as much a help to someone else who is now going through it.
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PainInTheBumPainInTheBum said:Nice to hear from you again
In the beginning of my treatment I was on this site daily. Read just about every comment. I too have been away from the site for quite awhile but I feel that it is a GOOD sign. A sign that maybe I don't dwell on the fact that I have cancer issues and can get involved in other things more. Of course there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not reminded of it but I'm finding that I can deal with it. Between COVID, losing my mother (in fact, today is the one year anniversary of losing my mom), mother-in-law, selling our house in FL and moving to TX (just in time for a winter storm with no power for 4 days) and finally finding another house (busy doing renovations)......I haven't checked on here. But, I remember how much this site has helped me when I first found out about my cancer and hope one day I can be as much a help to someone else who is now going through it.
Hi! I'm glad you checked in here! I, too, think it's a good thing that some of who are way past treatment don't come here as often because we are living our lives! Wow, you have a lot going on right now. I am so very sorry to hear of your mom's passing and also your mother-in-law. Those two events alone are a lot to deal with. I am very sorry. I hope that you will be able to get settled in your new home and like living in Texas. Please take care and know that I wish you all the very best!
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Oh sweet Martha...
My dear friend, your words regarding myself are so very kind and made me tear up. As mentioned by others, I too like to think that some of us "long term" survivors post less often because life has its way of moving us along, and thank God for that!!! Still, while the thought of cancer again takes a more back seat these days, it never completely leaves...I like to tell people I've just come to an agreement with it to co-exist (since technically I will remain stage 4 ) but to do what I am able to keep it at rest and live my life with limited stress! I'll cross any future cancer bridges as I get to them but really hope its long before I have the need.
Certainly this past year, Covid, my husbands decline in health and passing, and the fire has made that less than easy, but when I look back so much good has come to me through all of those situations and though I have moments of grief over what is lost, my heart bursts with gratefulness over the overwhelming support I have had from friends, family, and people I don't even know in my community! God has never failed me, ever, and his timing is always to perfection in our lives...just like when I first found this site and you!!!
I wasn't aware of this forum when first diagnosed, and felt so scared and confused, and I didn't know what to ask or where to turn. Not long after finishing treatment, I found this place where you have always been such a wealth of knowledge and support for me. Sharing your experience made recovery and moving forward seem more doable, even when it was hard, and I think thats the importance of those of us who have been there done that in keeping in touch here.
I am so sorry to hear of your husband health concerns and need for surgery, I hope all has continued in a positive direction for him. My mom passed away 14 years ago now, and as Mother's day approaches I miss her so much, I hope you too have been left with some fun, loving, and warm memories of your mom as I have! You are right on the house building...not an easy task! While my husband was in hospice after the fire he was encouraging me to build on our property, but I just didn't have it in me at the time. I just kept praying for direction and clarity, and since I had a temporary place to stay didn't want to rush a decision. I'm happy with where I landed but even some of the updates have been frustarting on my (new to me) home. Building materials seem to be ridiculously high priced or unavaiable and I'm probably paying twice what I would have pre-covid to have my deck redone, ugh!
I think of you often and especially as of late as your lovely state of Georgia keeps popping up in conversations. My son has had to go there a couple times for work, and my daughter is now dating a man who travels for work but was born and raised and has family there. If the world, life, and the stars align in my direction, I hope to take a long reflective road trip again before too long and who knows, maybe you'll be on my route???
It was so special to see your post here andI wish you all the good things...you know, health, happiness, and really good cheesecake!
Be well...
katheryn
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Hi katheryn!eihtak said:Oh sweet Martha...
My dear friend, your words regarding myself are so very kind and made me tear up. As mentioned by others, I too like to think that some of us "long term" survivors post less often because life has its way of moving us along, and thank God for that!!! Still, while the thought of cancer again takes a more back seat these days, it never completely leaves...I like to tell people I've just come to an agreement with it to co-exist (since technically I will remain stage 4 ) but to do what I am able to keep it at rest and live my life with limited stress! I'll cross any future cancer bridges as I get to them but really hope its long before I have the need.
Certainly this past year, Covid, my husbands decline in health and passing, and the fire has made that less than easy, but when I look back so much good has come to me through all of those situations and though I have moments of grief over what is lost, my heart bursts with gratefulness over the overwhelming support I have had from friends, family, and people I don't even know in my community! God has never failed me, ever, and his timing is always to perfection in our lives...just like when I first found this site and you!!!
I wasn't aware of this forum when first diagnosed, and felt so scared and confused, and I didn't know what to ask or where to turn. Not long after finishing treatment, I found this place where you have always been such a wealth of knowledge and support for me. Sharing your experience made recovery and moving forward seem more doable, even when it was hard, and I think thats the importance of those of us who have been there done that in keeping in touch here.
I am so sorry to hear of your husband health concerns and need for surgery, I hope all has continued in a positive direction for him. My mom passed away 14 years ago now, and as Mother's day approaches I miss her so much, I hope you too have been left with some fun, loving, and warm memories of your mom as I have! You are right on the house building...not an easy task! While my husband was in hospice after the fire he was encouraging me to build on our property, but I just didn't have it in me at the time. I just kept praying for direction and clarity, and since I had a temporary place to stay didn't want to rush a decision. I'm happy with where I landed but even some of the updates have been frustarting on my (new to me) home. Building materials seem to be ridiculously high priced or unavaiable and I'm probably paying twice what I would have pre-covid to have my deck redone, ugh!
I think of you often and especially as of late as your lovely state of Georgia keeps popping up in conversations. My son has had to go there a couple times for work, and my daughter is now dating a man who travels for work but was born and raised and has family there. If the world, life, and the stars align in my direction, I hope to take a long reflective road trip again before too long and who knows, maybe you'll be on my route???
It was so special to see your post here andI wish you all the good things...you know, health, happiness, and really good cheesecake!
Be well...
katheryn
How nice to hear from you and thank you for all the lovely sentiments! It warms my heart to hear such things, deserving or not!
I am glad that you continue to thrive, despite everything that has happened in your life. I'm sure some days are easier than others. I, too, experience that. The ups and downs make life interesting at times. The last 20 months or so have really tested me. I have had many of those "Calgon Take Me Away Days!" I am so glad that we found each other here, although I would have preferred some other circumstances for beginning a friendship! Through all our bumps and bruises, we are still here though! I do hope that if you ever travel this direction, you will let me know. I would love to meet you! We are in Georgia to stay, now that we have built our forever home, however long forever is at our age!
Take care, dear friend, and please keep in touch through this site. I am better about checking in these days! As always, I wish you all the best and hope you are enjoying plenty of peace and love in your life! Hugs!
Martha
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Oh, Martha!
I’m back on here after some years myself. You were an absolute angel during my cancer and the aftermath. The site has changed (it’s amazing I could even find my password) but I scrolled down looking for your “talk about poop” sign and there you are!
Best wishes dear one. I’m almost 7 years past treatment and I told myself I’d come back to offer encouragement, and understanding, as you did. I’m so pleased to see you!
June
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Hi June! It's so nice to see you on here again and I sincerely thank you for your sweet comments! I hope you are doing well! I don't check in here very often, as life has just gotten in the way! But I'm doing okay. Take good care and thank you again for the compliments and your friendship! Happy Holidays to you!
Martha
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Hi Martha, I’m a longtime member with only a couple of posts. I’ve followed your posts for years and you have provided me with so much valuable information and peace of mind. Thank you so much for all you’ve done here. Marianne
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