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MandiePandie's picture
MandiePandie
Posts: 76
Joined: Dec 2020

 

 

is there a place where I can read About more people who have survived this? I exhausted the too few survivorship stories that come up when you search them like on fox chases website and cancer coalition. 

 

abita's picture
abita
Posts: 1012
Joined: Dec 2017

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MandiePandie's picture
MandiePandie
Posts: 76
Joined: Dec 2020

I was afraid I was being too negative. I am sorry, it's just how I feel and surely it's probably more of a sign of my distress than anything rooted in realism. Thank you for sharing how you feel. Please tell me if you think I should take this down, the last thing I want to do is hurt people. Again, I'm so so very sorry please just dismiss me as the scared unknowledgable person I am. 

abita's picture
abita
Posts: 1012
Joined: Dec 2017

Exiting this conversation

MandiePandie's picture
MandiePandie
Posts: 76
Joined: Dec 2020

What matters is exactly what you are saying, I should listen better. I am so sorry for spreading any notions of hopelessness. I'm not that good of a person, I'm too negative, and I shouldnt have shared what was essentially garbage thoughts. I hope anyone who had the displeasure of reading it reads this as well as knows that I was wrong. Thank you for having the courage and care to point it out. youve helped me and I hope you take that away from this exchang and please dismiss what I said because there is little merit to it other than I'm distressed and again, I'm sorry for letting that affect others and you in anyway. 

abita's picture
abita
Posts: 1012
Joined: Dec 2017

We are all here to help each other. 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5422
Joined: Jan 2013

Well said, Abita. 

To be honest with you, Madie, I doubt any amount of survial stories will diminish the fears you have for your dad.  You can read them until your head spins - I think you have reached that point - and still you will worry. 

Congratulations on your pregnancy. May I be bold enough to say that maybe it is time to focus more on your expected child, because you have to know that whatever emotions and energies you are experiencing over your father, will ultimately be felt by your growing child. 

Of course I am not saying abandon all worry for your dad, that won't and can't happen, but you have to find a way to step back a little. Look at the grand scheme of things. Enjoy your pregnancy, and your baby will enjoy his time in the womb.  And dare I say, your dad, who is not oblivious himself, to your worry over him, may even benefit.  

I remember when I was in the midst of treatment, feeling like, and probably looking like I was going to die right there on the spot. I caught a glance of one of my sons looking at me. The distress in his face hurt like a spear through the heart. I tried after that, to not look or feel like death warmed over. It was a trial for me to do that.  

Go with the flow.  Find peace in the situation. It may or may all turn out well, but the cards will fall as they may, regardless of the amount of worry you put into it. 

Your dad is blessed to have such a loving daughter by his side. 

Tru

MandiePandie's picture
MandiePandie
Posts: 76
Joined: Dec 2020

Well, I was selfish and rude to post what I did. I flagged it and deleted the text so I hope it bothers no one else. . Not that it's an excuse in anyway but this past week or so I have noticed that my emotions took a dive, probably a combo of the build up of too much reading and my inability to cope (it really is an inability of mine and something that I clearly need to get in check), and maybe the hormones. I've never been pregnant, I dont have anyone to talk to about it because I don't want to bother my mom and I spend any free time on dad stuff so I don't even know what's normal. Again, not an excuse though.

Your kindess, consideration, and strength is inspiring, I hope to one day possess even a fraction of it. 

abita's picture
abita
Posts: 1012
Joined: Dec 2017

Please don't feel this way. You are being too hard on yourself. First, stop reading all that information.

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3365
Joined: Jan 2010

While reading survivorship stories may give you a temporary "high", they don't have answers you need to help your Dad, because each person is different and even each cancer is different.  Support from family and friends goes a long way to helping a cancer patient.  I consider anyone who has had or has cancer a survivor if they are still here to see the sun rise each day.  You don't have to be cancer free to be a survivor.  Show your Dad love, show your unborn child love and show yourself love.

Marie who loves kitties

AnneO1965's picture
AnneO1965
Posts: 179
Joined: May 2019

Mandie, cut yourself some slack... We have ALL been Negative Nancy at one point or another... Love your Dad, your Mama, your baby, your hubby/sig other and yourself... We are here for you, just like you are here for us....

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