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cheatinlil
cheatinlil CSN Member Posts: 197 Member
in Kidney Cancer #1

This site was a tremendous help and the beginning of our journey.

Everyone is different but when I was going through it I wanted examples of timelines. 

Here is ours:

12/4/2012 hubby had cancerous tumor removed from his kidney.

6/25/2014 Stage 4 advanced and aggressive.

 

6/25/2020 oncologist said treatment is no longer working. Hospice came to our house to register him. 

 

07/09/2020 oxygen use daily.

 

9/29/2020 He was still independent, walking, talking, driving, showering all on his own. 

 

10/10 started using wheelchair 

10/13 hospital bed delivered

10/15 bed-ridden 

10/23 hospice nurse said she will start visiting twice a week. 

10/24 mind still alert with a little confusion.

10/26 last bowel movement. started soft food diet.

10/28 catheter

10/30 a.m. 2 oz pudding/last meal; last time he spoke.

10/30 nurse assessed not active.

10/30 4:00 p.m. not communicating/just mumbles.  

10/31 nurse assessed not active dying 

11/1 4:00 p.m. nurse assessed he is now active dying; She recommended inpatient hospice to make him more comfortable. They could make him comfortable and release him back home.

7:00 p.m. they transported him. 

10:00 p.m. the nurse said he could be here 2 more weeks but there are no guarantees. she urged me to go home and get some sleep. I had been giving him comfort meds every 3-4 hours for about 48 hours.

11:00 p.m. I got home while his daughter stayed. 

11/2 2:00 a.m. passed away 

 

Sending much love and light on everyone's journey.

 ?❤

Comments

  • Deanie0916
    Deanie0916 CSN Member Posts: 628 Member
    edited December 2020 #2
    Sorry to hear about this

    May good memories and the love you shared keep you comforted?

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil CSN Member Posts: 197 Member
    #3
    Deanie0916 said:

    Sorry to hear about this

    May good memories and the love you shared keep you comforted?

    thank you for your kind words

    thank you for your kind words. <3 

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee CSN Member Posts: 1,059 Member
    edited December 2020 #4
    A sad but, tender story.

    And so very touching for you to record your journey for us.  Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

    Following my second bout of surgery in 2006, I took the 13 week Hospice volunteer training.  The who, what, when, how and why of Hospice care, including a visit to a mortuary and the back rooms.  I was curious as to what I, personally would go through when the time came.  And it helped immensely when my husband's mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few years ago.

    She was in assisted living, so most of the physical care was done for her.  But as a family member, she had her own built-in hospice volunteer, until the final two weeks when Hospice care had to be called in.

    It brings tears up...she died 50 years and to the hour that we were all celebrating Dave's and my wedding.  

    pause... Again thanks, and I'm so sorry for your loss.  Not a journey we want to face.

    Hugs, donna_lee

     

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil CSN Member Posts: 197 Member
    edited December 2020 #5
    donna_lee said:

    A sad but, tender story.

    And so very touching for you to record your journey for us.  Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

    Following my second bout of surgery in 2006, I took the 13 week Hospice volunteer training.  The who, what, when, how and why of Hospice care, including a visit to a mortuary and the back rooms.  I was curious as to what I, personally would go through when the time came.  And it helped immensely when my husband's mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few years ago.

    She was in assisted living, so most of the physical care was done for her.  But as a family member, she had her own built-in hospice volunteer, until the final two weeks when Hospice care had to be called in.

    It brings tears up...she died 50 years and to the hour that we were all celebrating Dave's and my wedding.  

    pause... Again thanks, and I'm so sorry for your loss.  Not a journey we want to face.

    Hugs, donna_lee

     

    It's so good to see your name

    It's so good to see your name pop up. I believe you were on this site when I was actively posting. I see other people who have been here a long time too.

    I love that you volunteered at Hospice.  Some of us are just doers and we just take the bull by the horns of life.

    My Mom is in assisted living. When I talk to her some of her symptoms are just sounding too familiar.

     

     It's unfortunate that it sounds like you have a lot of experience in this area. Experience you never wanted to have.

    Hugs right back at ya!

  • Tugguy
    Tugguy Member Posts: 10 Member
    #6

    May the sadness you have now be replaced in the future with only happy memories.

  • eug91
    eug91 CSN Member Posts: 471 Member
    #7
    I'm so sorry-

    He was lucky to have you. Wishing you peace.

  • Canadian Sandy
    Canadian Sandy Member Posts: 784 Member
    edited December 2020 #8
    So sorry for your loss. I

    So sorry for your loss. I lost my hubby of 30 years in March and this is not easy. Treasure your moments together. God bless.

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil CSN Member Posts: 197 Member
    #9
    Canadian Sandy said:

    So sorry for your loss. I

    So sorry for your loss. I lost my hubby of 30 years in March and this is not easy. Treasure your moments together. God bless.

    thank you all: tugguy eug91

    thank you all: tugguy eug91 Canadian sandy!! hugs on your journey 

  • Allochka
    Allochka CSN Member Posts: 1,083 Member
    #10
    Very sorry to hear that... 

    Very sorry to hear that...  You were a great help for your hubby. I hope your pain will subside and only warm memories will remain

     

    Hugs,

    Alla 

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil CSN Member Posts: 197 Member
    edited December 2020 #11
    Allochka said:

    Very sorry to hear that... 

    Very sorry to hear that...  You were a great help for your hubby. I hope your pain will subside and only warm memories will remain

     

    Hugs,

    Alla 

    thank you for the kind words.

    thank you for the kind words. I remember you from when I was active on this site.  I hope you and your loved one are doing well. hugs right back to you!

  • Biner
    Biner CSN Member Posts: 137 Member
    #12
    Sorry for your loss,no words

    Sorry for your loss,no words young healthy Cry

    I understand he has small mass 1 stage in 2012,and after it come back in aggressive form?I scary because I had a small mass and 3 stage, and also aggressive,looks like here is no hope

  • stub1969
    stub1969 CSN Member Posts: 987 Member
    #13
    Virtual hug

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm sure your presence in his final days helped give him peace and comfort.  I pray the wonderful memories of your life together outweigh the struggles at the end.

    Take care-

    Stub

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil CSN Member Posts: 197 Member
    #14
    stub1969 said:

    Virtual hug

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm sure your presence in his final days helped give him peace and comfort.  I pray the wonderful memories of your life together outweigh the struggles at the end.

    Take care-

    Stub

    Binder

    Binder

    Honestly in 2012 they removed the tumor and gave him paperwork that basically said they got it all. He was supposed to go back for a follow up and he didn't. I think they didnt communicate with him well. He never really understood that it was cancerous until 2014. In 2013 he got on humira for rheumatoid arthritis. the questionnaire asked if he ever had cancer and he said no. The Humira is what caused the flare up. Its devastating. Patients really need an advocate or to advocate for themselves.

     

    Stub

    Thank you for your kind words. We had a good run. We lived every day like it was our last. There was no time to argue and we forgave quickly. It was a good life in spite of the cancer.

  • Biner
    Biner CSN Member Posts: 137 Member
    #15
    I totally agree with you, I

    I totally agree with you, I the same situation I was lucky to an incident finding a complex cyst, and the urologist said don't worry it just a cyst, less 1% malignant after a year it doubles in size and was 3 stage aggressive cancer. I lost my time and now no big chances survive

  • cheatinlil
    cheatinlil CSN Member Posts: 197 Member
    edited December 2020 #16
    Biner said:

    I totally agree with you, I

    I totally agree with you, I the same situation I was lucky to an incident finding a complex cyst, and the urologist said don't worry it just a cyst, less 1% malignant after a year it doubles in size and was 3 stage aggressive cancer. I lost my time and now no big chances survive

    Biner,

    Biner,

    I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis. It's a  tough journey.  Me and my husband enjoyed most of our days. We lived our lives to the fullest. We didn't fight about dumb stuff. We forgave quickly when we did fight. We loved more deeply. I hope you find joy in your journey. I'm finding even with his death our sweet memories and the joy lives with the pain in my soul. This is a great Forum. I found a lot of help here in the beginning. Sending you live and light.

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