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Does everyone have times of anger and bad memory ?

worriedson714
Posts: 56
Joined: Dec 2019

My dad was dianosged in march and ever since has had alot of anger even more when he gets a blood tests or CT scan . He tells the nurses he has no support and tells us we just boss him around and today had a ct scan . Same thing happened and my step mom says something is wrong . Then once he yells at us we get mad then I feel guilty for getting mad at him . Also it seems like he forgets stuff about preparing for ct scans and tests then says we are wrong when we tell him he has done it that way beforeIt seems like he doesn't trust us alot but now I am worried about what my stepmom said could something be wrong ? or  is it normal to have times of anger and forget things about treatment like this for a cancer patient ? I mean seems like it's bound to happen imo but just asking . 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5149
Joined: Jan 2013

While I do not experience anger, I do understand that it can be a product of fear.   While i obviously do not know if that is the case, I am just putting forward an option.  Stress over scans, tests, and the results can mess with your head, and sometimes be exhibeted as anger. 

As for memory, mine is shot.  I am the same age as your day - I think - 61, and chemo did a number on my head, along with the natural ageing process. 

It is always a good idea to talk things over with a GP or his Oncologist. 

I am so sorrt that he has anger problems, as that effects the whole family.  I know he is delicate, and I'm not big on medication, but maybe some kind of anxiety medication would be good.  I don't know.  

Lets see what others have to say.  The foum has been awful quiet, so hopefully people are just lurking. 

Tru

AnneO1965's picture
AnneO1965
Posts: 148
Joined: May 2019

How is your dad sleeping?  If he's not sleeping well, that can  really piss you off especially when you are already worried.   I had my moments of being pissed at the world while I was going through chemo.   I agree with what Tru said about memory. Mine is pretty much useless, and I'm a few years younger than your dad. I can be told when an appt is, and 2 minutes later have to ask when my appt is. Sometimes I forget what things are called. Sometimes I can't remember my name. It sucks.

If the anger seems that it is getting out of hand, consult his doctor. There may be a reason for it.   Just keep loving him and supporting him the best way you know how. As for getting mad yourself, you are human, so cut yourself some slack. You are worried too

Anne

worriedson714
Posts: 56
Joined: Dec 2019

He has neroupathy bad so he doesn't sleep much and pills haven't worked for the neroupathy 

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6482
Joined: Feb 2009

Anxiety is common during diagnosis, and treatment, especially when there is a test coming up.  One's mind tends to race before an exam and during an exam and therefore what they seem to remember, quickly disappers because their mind is thinking of the "what if's."  The doctor should be aware of severe mood swings as this might be an onset of depression.  Don't get too upset by your dad, but try to understand that he is going through a lot and might need some extra loving care.  Hope your dad gets some peace of mind and thanks for being such a great daughter to be checking up on him.

Kim

abita's picture
abita
Posts: 792
Joined: Dec 2017

I have a generally positive hopeful outlook  but yep, I blow up. When I was still groggy and weak from surgery, I wanted juice. It was a new bottle and I couldn't get the lid off. I lost it and started banging that plastic bottle in the counter, such a ruckus that my cat came in, and looked at me like he was worried I had lost my mind. Then I just started crying. The real reason I freaked out was because I didn't even have enough control over my own strength to open a juice. And there is one ups guy that i have snapped at because he leaves the packages downstairs. And the real reason is that i am so mad that i am too weak from chemo to carry a big box upstairs. I think, especially around chemo or scan days, the behavior is not really okay, but losing control of one's own life is tough. I have actually been told when I say how bad I feel that I got so crazy, that they would worry about me if I didn't lose it once in a while. A scan can show your tumors shrinking or being gone, but they can also show chemo not working or a new spot that could mean the end. Scanxiety is rough.

 

My cousin fixed up my apt so that I could function. She put the catfood and bowls on a table because I could not bend after surgery. Got me a shower seat and handheld shower so I could wash. Filled out my paperwork. And as much as I loved her for that, I still got irritated  at little things like dumping out the coffee ice cubes I made so I don't have to  wait for my coffee to go from super hot to hot. I did not let her know that though. Anyway, just a long winded story to to tell you that yeah, losing control, facing mortality, there should be some anger. But if it is too out of control, then that is not okay. Many hospitals have resources so maybe talk to the social worker about what is happening so they can give you guidance as to whether the line from normal to too much is the case. The center should have resources for caregivers. If you don't feel the support person truly cares about helping, find another one. It is good to get the perspective of someone trained and educated but like anything else, not all are good. I am glad I gave the second social worker a chance :)

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1409
Joined: May 2012

You're sticking toxins in your body, yes anger and memory problems are normal.  to help you understand, consider drinking insecticide.  What do you think it would do to you? Pain, anxiety, frustration, confusion, coldness.  I mean he is going through hell, cut him a break.

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