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Hello, new to here but not new?

Katy2020's picture
Katy2020
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2020

Hi everyone. My husband was first diagnosed in March 2014 at 41 yo, stage 4 when the found it. He's gone through radiation, all the chemo-Xeloda, 5FU, Folfox, Folfox-avastin, and some others I dont remember. He's had 4 major surgeries, ablation, resection, you name it. He's had it removed from his colon, liver, lungs, bladder, and uretor. Even made it to the door of a clinical trial but failed at the last step. (There wasn't enough tumor to both treat and measure.) It's now recurred in his pelvic side wall and the only thing they can do is maybe more radiation. He's run the gamut. I decided to choose joy in it all years ago. It still sucks, don't get me wrong, but there's peace in acceptance.  That's it. That's my story. 

Katy

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5149
Joined: Jan 2013

Welcome to the forum, and thank you for your story. It is very sobering, and my heart goes out to you and to your husband. It has obviously been a very long road, and one that you are both still travelling down. 

I am glad that you have chosen joy, and I hope that you can keep that positive attitude. And by positive, I'm not saying or suggesting that if you think positive it will all go away - we know different. And joy won't make it all good, but it sure does help. 

Iwish you both peace on your continued journey. 

Tru

Katy2020's picture
Katy2020
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2020

Thank you Tru. I say choose joy because the opposite is well, not good.  I cried the first day but I'm not a crier so I decided then and there I was going to embrace it. It's a daily conscious decision. My boss thought I was nuts. I've had many lows and even lost my **** at year 3. I knew it wouldn't help him if I didn't get it together, plus we have a 10 yo. So, I choose joy, in spite of it all. Will he die from the cancer? Probably at some point, but, until then we make the most of it. My sister thinks I'm naive and in denial. I say, until you watch your husband almost die from chemo, change an ostomy bag at 4 in the morning, or beg the surgeon for more options, F you. I choose joy, damn it. 

 

 

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6482
Joined: Feb 2009

You both have been through a very difficult 4 years.  It's hard to accept yet another disappointment, but if you can see some joy now after all you have been through than you both are very fortunate.  There is always hope and understanding and that is exactly what you will find here.  Don't hesitate to come back and let us know how your husband is doing.  I'm wishing the best for the both of you.

Kim

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
Posts: 608
Joined: Jul 2016

Good for you to have such a positive outlook. Your both in my thoughts.

Capox Dude's picture
Capox Dude
Posts: 77
Joined: May 2019

...and fighters.

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