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Re: Remembering Pinky

Posts: 266
Joined: Apr 2011

To All the Ladies on this Board:

  I wanted to respond to a post regarding "Remembering Pinky".

  I probably and most definitely was one of Pinky's closest and best friends on this Uterine Board.  She e-mailed me a few times in a WEEK and I returned ALL of her e-mails and we had a wonderful and very caring friendship.

  I have taken Pinky's death very hard in the beginning and the first couple of weeks for me were very, very difficult.

  Over the past few months, I have been doing a lot better and I am of the Catholic faith so Every Sunday, I say a prayer for Pinky at Mass.  

  I did send her husband money right after Pinky passed away and he used it towards a tombstone for Pinky's grave.  I also sent Pinky money while she was living to have a veyy nice dinner with her and her husband when she was very, very sick in February of 2019 (about 2 months before she passed away) and Pinky sent me a very lovely thank you note as she really appreciated my gesture and thoughtfulness and I have saved the thank you note as their is a picture of a Domestic short hair cat on the cover which my family hapeens to own a domestic short hair cat.  

  Pinky and I did exchange Christmas gifts since 2014 and she sent me some lovely and very unique Christmas gifts over the past few years and I sent her money so she could buy what she wanted.. I did miss her this Christmas and there is a Large Void in my life.   Thankfully, though I am blessed with a number of wonderful friends that are outside of the uterine board and feel very fortunate.

  I have spoken with Pinky's husband over the past few months (not recently though) and he mentioned his daughter and her husband and their children will probably move in with him in the near future and Pinky's husband had 5 children from a previous marriage.  I am glad and happy for him that he has his daughter and her family to keep him company and to be with him on a daily basis.

   Here in PA, we have had a very mild winter with hardly any snow. I know Pinky lived in Upstate New York and they have had a lot more snow than what PA had in a season's time. I am not sure about this winter's season though what upstate NY state had in snowfall though.

   The women on the Uterine Board are wonderful and have given me good advice and I so appreciate it.

   I had Stage 1 of UPSC and was diagnosed in February of 2011 so it is just nine years.  I still see my oncologist 2x a year for checkups and will have to go for tests for the rest of my life, but as you women know, UPSC is a very sneaky and aggressive cancer.

  I wanted to write this to let all of you women know my relationship with Pinky since I got to know her since April of 2013. I will always miss Pinky as she was one of my closest and dearest friends - although I never got to meet her in person though and we did over the years talk on the phone as well as very frequent e-mails.

  I do look on the Uterine Board to check posts on the various different topics on a regular basis.



a/k/'a Jane




Armywife's picture
Posts: 452
Joined: Feb 2018

We all loved Pinky, and are glad to have a chance to hear from you.

I am so encouraged that you have 9 years since diagnosis!  



StaciLynn's picture
Posts: 41
Joined: Aug 2017

Hi Jane.  My name is Staci and I was diagnosed with uterine cancer stage 1 back in 2017.  I had a hysterectomy performed laproscopically and thankfully have been okay but of course there are no guarantees in life.  I have not been active on the boards in a few years, probably because I just wanted to put this all behind me but occasionally I do look at the posts others place just to see what is going on.  I read what you wrote about Pinky, and although I don't know you and never knew Pinky, I just had to respond to you because of something I connected with.  I read about the close friendship you had with Pinky and while you never met her she was a dear friend of yours.  I totally relate and connect to this since I also lost a very close friend I met through the Internet I also never met in person.  Her name was Cheryl and she was a uterine cancer survivor.  She remained cancer free for over 10 years but I met her through a different site that had nothing to do with cancer.  We had a close friendship for 20 years and were there for each other through our cancers, even though they were years apart.  Like you and Pinky, we also exchanged cards and Christmas gifts for years.  I considered Cheryl to be one of my best friends, but unfortunately on March 12th, 2020 she passed away, not from cancer but cardiac related issues.  She had been having problems over the past year that compromised her breathing and was in and out of the hospital many times.  It had nothing to do with cancer but a totally separate issue.  When she was in and out of the hospital we corresponded through writing or phone but then I stopped hearing from her.  She stopped responding to my letters and was not answering her cell phone.  I knew something was wrong and left a message on her home phone hoping someone would hear it and get back to me.  The next day I received a call from her brother informing me Cheryl had passed away.  I was devastated.  I feel such a huge void in my life like you feel with Pinky, even though I never met Cheryl in person.  

You are probably the first person I ever read that maintained a long distance, close relationship with someone you never met in person besides myself.  That really struck me because I knew you would understand how I was feeling about losing my friend, while others may not quite understand how you couid be so close to someone you never met in person.  I always thought I would meet Cheryl even though I live in NY and she lived in Wisconsin, but it just never happened.  I am very sad over the loss of my friend, the same way you are about Pinky, so I do understand.  I just wanted to share that with you after reading your post.  I have not checked these message boards in a very long time but hope you are well and hope you stay safe.




Posts: 266
Joined: Apr 2011

Hi Staci:  Thanks for responding to my e-mail regarding Pinky.  It is truly "amazing" that you had met a close friend through another site and stayed in touch with her. Pinky also coincidentally lived in NY in Upstate NY to be exact.   Pinky had Stage 4 and I had stage 1 so there was a big differences in our cancer, however, right off the bat we seemed to connect and had a lot of things inc ommon.  Pinky wrote me very long e-mails and I did as well and I found Pinky's e-mails to be very, very interesting. I saved all of her e-mails.  

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, Cheryl and you have my deep sympathy. It probably willl take you a very long time to get over your friend's passing. Tomorrow it will be 11 months since Pinky passed away.  I say a prayer for Pinky every week at Mass, but with the virus upon us, I watch Mass on the computer at a site that our Pastor has for parishioners of my parish.  This will go on until it is safe to go out and we can return to Mass.   I know it will be difficult for you over the next several weeks and months over the loss of your friend, Cheryl.




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