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Dating after cancer

Breacher
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2020

Hi.

New here.  Not sure this is the correct forum 

Curious to hear from cancer survivors who are dating post cancer.

I've been very fortunate and am now cancer free as of Oct/18.  However, I'm still learning how to manage the side effects and the emotional side of the disease and treatments.

My wife and I split one year before I was diagnosed so I travelled this journey alone.  Now that I am healthy enough to be out in the world again, I'd like to start dating.

So far, I've been very open about cancer, the treatments I've received and the side effects.  The result has not been favourable.  Each person was interested to hear what happened but the dates all eventually fizzled out.  Sure, it could just be me ;) 

Curious to hear from women and men about how dating post cancer has gone for them?

Do you disclose your situation up front?  If yes, how did that go?

If not, why not?  How did that go?

All points of view, suggestions, and experiences are welcome!

I am 55-year-old male

 

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2701
Joined: Mar 2013

Breacher, first off, congrats on being cancer free.  I wish you a lifetime of NED.  

Being so recent to all the dx and treatment, it is a big deal to you, but probably terrifying to someone you meet and hope to build a relationship with.  As a female, I would probably just want to know who are, what you like to do, and see if we have anything in common.  

More and more people are living cancer free, but it just isn't mainstream enough for everyone to accept.  

I hope you find happiness who can love you for all of you.

Elaine_wi's picture
Elaine_wi
Posts: 119
Joined: Jun 2017

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Cancer survivors are some of the most amazing people on earth, and that's what you are. If someone sees your survivorship as something negative, that's their problem and you deserve better.

I am a two-and-a-half year breast cancer survivor. I go to a lot of cancer support groups and recently completed a 12-week Livestrong group personal training with other cancer survivors. Associating with winners like these has helped me see that cancer has become a normal part of millions of people's lives.

I find it very emotionally healthy to cultivate new platonic friends and not just focus on the dating aspect. As Helen Keller said, "Keep Your Face Always Towards the Sunshine, and the Shadows Will Fall Behind You".

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