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A person who was my inspiration has died

Donswife48
Posts: 326
Joined: Nov 2015

She was not my "friend" but a member of my inner community.  And she was my inspiration!  She had ovarian cancer, beat it for 2 years, had a recurrence, then another remission for almost 5 years.  She was also my doctors patient.  

 

I just found out today that she passed away in November.  I knew in March she had a 3rd recurrence, and I didn't think it sounded good.

 

Karen was part of a bistro/restaurant in my town.  She was witty, fun, extremely business oriented towards her customers.  I admired her, because when she was first diagnosed with cancer, she still needed to work (self employed people don't have adequate insurance to pay bills).  And so she was the face of the business, bald head and all.  

 

When I lost my hair, I first went into their business, knowing I wouldn't be looked at.  She smiled, and we talked small talk.

 

I will miss her for her inspiration.  And I cried more tears when I found out that she had passed away in November 3, 2019 than I would have for any family member.  I feel like my inspiration and hope has left me.

 

RIIP Karen.

MAbound
Posts: 1022
Joined: Jun 2016

I'm so sorry that you are mourning this loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful person and I have to say that I, too, really admire anyone who can work through cancer treatment, but I feel really bad when anyone feels like they don't have any choice but to do so. It's hard enough to do when you have the support you need, but there are so many who don't. Having cancer certainly makes a person realize that they are a lot stronger than they ever thought they were! 

Having walked the same path, you've gained a degree of empathy you might not otherwise have had, but the price is that losses such as this are going to hit you harder. My deepest sympathy for what you are feeling. Sending you a big hug!

Pat

 

Northwoodsgirl
Posts: 570
Joined: Oct 2009

I too want to extend empathy and sympathy for the loss of your dear friend Karen. She sounds like a beautiful soul. We do look at pain, suffering and life very differently once we have gone through the fight of our lives with cancer.  

I hope you continue to keep many happy memories of your friend.

You are a blessing to others who share the experience of fighting cancer. May memories of Karen be blessings to you dear one...

(Hug)

Lori

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1642
Joined: Jun 2015
I'm so sorry for your loss.  I feel your sadness and emptiness in every word. Thank you for coming to us to help carry that load. We are here for you and understand how deeply this impacts you.
Please don't give up your hope. Find comfort in the lessons and friendship Karen's memories may bring you.
 
Love and Hugs,
Cindi
Armywife's picture
Armywife
Posts: 373
Joined: Feb 2018

Donswife, I am sorry.  Not only is it hard to lose those who inspire us, it's scary too because it reminds us it can happen to anyone.  I think most of us have thought about what we'd want, and I know I'd just want to know that someone would remember me - that I mattered to someone.  I think you've given Karen a great gift, because you are remembering and mourning and sharing her courage with others.  I bet she would be pleased to know she mattered to you!

Fridays Child
Posts: 153
Joined: Jul 2019

So sorry to hear about your friend.  Sometimes the loss of  those we knew peripherally that hits harder than we might have expected.  May you find comfort and peace in your memories.

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2728
Joined: Mar 2013

Donswife, I am so sorry to hear about this loss.  I am glad you came to share her with us.  Maybe you can do something special to remember her?  Your own way of honoring someone who graced this world. 

Donswife48
Posts: 326
Joined: Nov 2015

I'm very thankful that I have a forum and online friends who understand.  I knew in July she had made a bucket list, and her husband documented her hike through a part of Colorado.  She seemed strong and determined, that's why it hit me with a thud.  He has written a blog for about 2 years, about her cancer and their hopes, the loss of their business.  He is very eloquent in his writing, and tonight I finally read all of the last few months of her & his life.  And of course it is the same for any of us and our families, we and they all have hopes and fears.  I thank you again for helping me put life and death into perspective.  I think I'm better now, and will be more guarded and thankful about my view of life.  Hugs

janaes
Posts: 800
Joined: May 2016

As I write this to you i feel so sad. A friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. She fighting it with chemo right now but it would be so hard if she lost the fight.

I hope that you find peace with her loss.

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