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Worried

worriedson714
Posts: 9
Joined: Dec 2019

In march my dad was dianosged with stage 3 rectal cancer and told it was curable . So he had radiation 24 treatments and 3 rounds of chemo treatment . Last week he had surgery to remove the tumor and the doctor said it was one of the worse she had done . But they ended up getting the tumor out but he ended up with a pernament colosotmy bag. We got the pathlogist report back and they said there was cancer in the margin of the tumor . The doctor won't tell us nothing until it goes to the tumor board so I am left worrying what this means . So my questions is has anyone been threw this kind of thing ? Does it mean the cancer has spread ? Could it still be curable with more chemo and or surgery ? How worried should I be at this point ? My dad is more then my dad he is my hero and my best friend so any help I would be very grateful . 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5009
Joined: Jan 2013

 So my questions is has anyone been threw this kind of thing ?

I bet half of us here on the forum have been through this, some more than once, so you have come to the right place at the right time. 

There is no way on this great earth that we can eliviate your worry. No amount of words, or wonderful stories. You will worry until the pathology report comes in. Then you will worry again, and again and again. Cancer, is a gift that keeps on giving, as far as worry is concerned.  None of us, no matter what stage, will go through the same kind of worry before every scan. Before every results appointment. Some of us will leave with relief written all over our faces, and some with hearache matched only by our determination to fight. 

We can't tell you if the Cancer has spread. We can't tell you if it is curable - a word I do not use personally - 

How wonderful it is for your dad to have a son who loves him so much. That alone is a boost, and equal to any treatment. 

Stick with us, and we will stick with you and help you as you help your dad. 

My own personal story in a nutshel is, diagnosis Nov 2012. Surgery - chemo - & chemo/raditaion. Recurrence in the liver in 2014 - surgery  and NED (No Evidence of Disease) ever since. So Stage IV NED for FIVE YEARS EIGHT MONTHS.   It can be done. 

Tru

SandiaBuddy's picture
SandiaBuddy
Posts: 987
Joined: Apr 2017

It sounds incredibly frustrating the way the doctors have communicated with you.  Right now, your biggest attention should be on getting your father on the road to recovery after surgery.  Yet, they have you tied in a knot worried about the cancer status.  There is not much you can do now but take care of your dad and wait for the results and recommendations.  Sorry you are in this tough position.

worriedson714
Posts: 9
Joined: Dec 2019

So true I just kind of wish the doctors wouldn't even have told us until they went in front of the tumor board and we knew more . 

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6349
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry to hear of your father's diagnosis.  Every doctor wants clear margins, but what they do from here is something that only your father and his doctor can decide what best option to take.  You didn't say if your father had radiation to the tumor before hand.  My treatment was chemo/radiation, surgery, then more chemo.  I'm not sure what your father had, but the radiation shrunk my tumor from the size of a nickle to the point of a tip of a pen.  Radiation can get rid of some of the disease as well.  Every patient is different though, as is their circumstances.  Wishing your father the best.

Kim

worriedson714
Posts: 9
Joined: Dec 2019

Yes he had radiation before surgery to the doctor said that even that didn't shrink the tumor to much which I thought was odd . 

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6349
Joined: Feb 2009

Yes, I'm surprised that it didn't shrink it very much.  I'm so sorry that he is going through all this.  You are a very good son for trying to get some advice to help him get through this.  Remember we are always here to help you, especially for emotional support. 

Kim

Real Tar Heel
Posts: 52
Joined: Nov 2019

I've a team of doctors with distinct personalities which shows in their treatment. The colon surgeon is a super positive coach figure (rah rah!). The liver specialist was sort of dour and presented the worst case scenarios mostly. The radiologist was kind of like a mad scientist, yet confident. The oncologist is nuturing. I'll leave a conversation with one feeling sky high and then another will make me want to hide under a rock. The common denominator is that none of them can really be sure about anything except what treatment they plan. You kind of have to tune them out and focus on the things you can take care of. For you, focus on doing what you can to make your father comfortable as possible, don't get ahead of yourself thinking about endgame scenarios.

I think it's good that the doctors are waiting until the tumor board discusses things. I get all my test results and everything as soon as they come in, but before the docs have a chance to discuss. It wasn't necessarily good during those first weeks to see whatever results without the pros to put things in context.

Coming from a father I'll tell you that my kids just doing little things for me was invaluable.

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