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Apologies!

KarenMG's picture
KarenMG
Posts: 109
Joined: Jun 2017

Sorry if I had you guys worrying about me, but I do appreciate that you thought of me.

I'm still here and kicking sort of. I think that I would be better off if not for the negativity of the doctors and a therapists I've seen. I'm not sure why they feel the need to make everything seem so bleak but I definitely have bought into it.

Thinking back, every single Doctor has been negative. One therapist was not. The last new psychologist I saw was with Palliative care was pretty awful. Maybe it is just my state of mind.

So yes, I am with a Palliative care group that I've seen once in a month. After that visit and my last oncologists visit, I felt so hopeless and devastated that it took me a long time to recover. Which makes me wonder what it is worth to even go. Except that they are prescribing my pain and anxiety meds.

Maybe I have too much of an idealistic way of thinking about how cancer patients should be treated but I am truly surprised at how little they have had to offer me. I am going to ask if there is another therapist available.

I do realize that I have to work through my mental and spiritual self through all this.

I have held back from writing on here because I felt I had zero positivity to offer and nothing but negative thoughts and you guys do not need that.

I do find myself withdrawing from toxic people that could and have hurt me, I feel less like talking. Maybe it's because my fatigue has gotten way worse and I just rarely want to go out and do things. I do get out about once or twice a week maybe.

This is quite a lonely experience, I think people also pull away. I've definitely noticed that.

Again, thanks for being concerned about me. I do think about you all often and you're in my prayers.

Take care,

Karen

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 979
Joined: Aug 2013

Some say life is a state of mind, but they never add that it's a state of mind tied to these fragile bodies that malfunction and break down over time. Hard to "sail away" when anchored by such a thing. It' fairly easy to offer a bit of hope to newbies freshly terrified by a new diagnosis, it's tougher to find useful words for one who's been here a while and knows every aspect of their situation and condition, as you do. I buy a couple lotto tickets a week, and the extremely long odds of those things don't stop the small hope of a jackpot, a little hope can go a long way. Some folk's sense of realism won't let them hang their hopes on a longshot, and that's fine, but I was willing to keep believing that with my wife, and in the scary moments of my own journey, and no doctor was taking that from me. Tell them all to go to hell, and find some hope to hold on to, the future is unwritten........................................................Dave

Kazenmax's picture
Kazenmax
Posts: 343
Joined: Feb 2016

Negative or positive, I’m glad to hear from you. Yes I worry about you but only that I wish you peace. I’m glad that you have found some support and also glad that you are looking for more. You deserve it. I’m sorry that things have gotten so rough. Please know that throughout the past couple of years your posts have helped me immensely. Good or bad it was always nice to know that I’m not alone with my fears and hurts. 

When you get down, remember that we are all here for you. Sending love and strength to face the future. 

K

KarenMG's picture
KarenMG
Posts: 109
Joined: Jun 2017

Thanks a bunch, your words mean a lot. It's rare to hear positive thoughts these days.

How are you doing? I hope things are good for you. No, you are definitely not alone in your fears. Who wouldn't be petrified of the big C? It has shaken me to the core.

Write to me anytime!

Karen

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6154
Joined: Feb 2009

Thank you so much for letting us know how you were doing.  We are basically a close group of people here, concerned about one another because we, as cancer survivors, only know what it is to experience the trama that comes along with such a diagnosis.

I'm sorry that your doctors have been such a disappointment.  It's sad when you go to a professional only to have them let you down, emotionally and mentally.  I'd say just keep trying to find a psycologist that you like.  There have to be many more to try out.

Remember we are here for you, and don't think you have to come on this board to be upbeat and positive either.  When you have concerns or questions, we want to be able to help you.  Thanks again for the update.

Kim

nuc
Posts: 28
Joined: Jun 2019

Hi Karen,

I know what you mean about these psychologists. 

My wife was recommended, and wanted to see a psychologist after her diagnosis, mainly to assist her in working through any issues she had.  In both cases, the care was subpar from the initial visit.  I thought she should go again, because maybe the first visit was just a getting to know you, orientation type of visit.  But nothing changed on the second visits also.  Still just asking about her day, how she was doing with the chemo/radiation, etc...nothing deep/psychological at all.  You would think that the psychologists, recommended by the cancer docs., would at least be well trained in what they're doing.  She got tired of going and stopped.  I'm sure there are some good ones out there, it's too bad they're not easy to find.

Adam 

Butt's picture
Butt
Posts: 293
Joined: May 2018

I saw 2 shrinks and they were horrible in my opinion. One kept saying that he doesn’t know how to help me and I need to believe that I would be cured. Another said you life never would be the same and suck it in. Came across as very cocky. I had a good one done 8 years ago and he was very helpful but retired. The situation wasn t related to health and again he was very good. My oncologist told me that he heard complains about shrinks from his patients but in the area where we live according to him no shrinks are trained to work with cancer patients. Thus, couldn t suggest a name. Butt.

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