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LadyMox – Possible Update

cmb's picture
cmb
Posts: 399
Joined: Jan 2018

Like others, I've been worried that we hadn't heard from LadyMox for some time, even though she had logged onto the board in February, So I did a search this evening and sadly learned that a young woman name Tammy Mink (Tammy was LadyMox's first name) just passed away last week. From the location (Buffalo), her age (42) and the distinctive curls in the lovely photo attached to the notice, I'm very sorry to say that I believe this is our dear LadyMox.

https://www.amigone.com/obituary/Tammy-M.-Mink/Buffalo-New-York/1837056

It's horribly unfair that she went so quickly and at such a young age. I know that we all tried to be positive and supportive for her, but it appears she was prescient in fearing the worst. I'm always unhappy when we lose any of the members of this board, but this one really troubles me.

LadyMox had gotten to a good place in her life, after some early troubled years. I know that cancer can hit anyone, at any time, but it hurts me even more when it's a young person.

I debated about posting this since I don't know for sure that it relates to our LadyMox, although the photo and details fit. But we do get concerned about those who stop posting, especially when their condition is so grave. For me, knowing, even when the news is bad, is better than not knowing.

ConnieSW's picture
ConnieSW
Posts: 1456
Joined: Jun 2012

very sad news. I hate, hate, hate when this happens to someone so young. I wish we could have helped her more.  

derMaus's picture
derMaus
Posts: 561
Joined: Nov 2016

Thank you cmb. I know a number of us have been concerned about her. I sent her a PM in January and never heard back, but I hoped it was just that she was busy with treatment. The obituary might not be her but I agree with your assessment of the age, location and the lovely curls. Damn it all.

LisaPizza's picture
LisaPizza
Posts: 238
Joined: Feb 2018

So sad, may she rest in peace and love.

barnyardgal
Posts: 227
Joined: Oct 2017

I've been wondering about her. She was way too young. I'm so sorry for her family.

Tamlen's picture
Tamlen
Posts: 207
Joined: Jan 2018

I've been worried about her too. I'd been watching her logins, which were at least weekly, and saw that she'd not been on since late Feb. It's sobering and heartbreaking how quickly things progressed for her.

Soup52's picture
Soup52
Posts: 902
Joined: Jan 2016

So sad.Mayshe Rest In Peace.

Jairoldi's picture
Jairoldi
Posts: 217
Joined: May 2017

How distressed she was!  It's so true that we know ourselves best as was the case with Lady Mox. I did Google Tammy Mink and found a site that she also referenced a username of LdyMox. https://www.thingiverse.com/LdyMox/about. May her family find strength in their very best memories as they find their way forward without her physical presence.

Jayne

CheeseQueen57's picture
CheeseQueen57
Posts: 820
Joined: Feb 2016

I guess there’s no doubt now.  I was hoping it wasn’t her. So sad. 

derMaus's picture
derMaus
Posts: 561
Joined: Nov 2016

Damn. You're right, it IS her. Thank you for confirming. Rest in peace, Lady Mox. 

Forherself's picture
Forherself
Posts: 241
Joined: Jan 2019

I have been wondering about her too.  Prayers for her family.  

Thank you cmb.  

 

Forherself's picture
Forherself
Posts: 241
Joined: Jan 2019

How is she doing?    If you still check in let us know?   You are in my prayers.

 

Lulu7582's picture
Lulu7582
Posts: 112
Joined: Jun 2018

Prayers for her family. I pray they are surrounded with love and peace knowing she isn't in pain anymore. RIP LadyMox! xo

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1363
Joined: Oct 2015

D*mn, d*mn, d*mn, I hate this disease. She was so young and so afraid. Rest in peace, our friend.

Love, 

Eldri 

Wannabeatit
Posts: 97
Joined: Dec 2017

Awe that is crushing news

janaes
Posts: 783
Joined: May 2016

I was hoping it wasnt her. She was 42 like the obituary said. Im close to her age. Just a few years older. Its so sad. How did i get 3 cancers and live and not her.

ConnieSW's picture
ConnieSW
Posts: 1456
Joined: Jun 2012

but don't you dare even think about going anywhere. 

zsazsa1
Posts: 356
Joined: Oct 2018

This is horrible news.  We knew she was following along with us.  I too sent her a private message in February, since I knew she came on the website, even though she wasn't posting.  When I first saw the survival times for this cancer, I was devastated.  My family is hoping for the best, as am I, but LadyMox was right when she said, after her mesenteric metastasis doubled in size on chemo, that she would be lucky to make it to Easter.  And I think that her cancer was endometrioid, not even UPSC or clear cell!  She knew.  So young.  So unfair.

zsazsa1
Posts: 356
Joined: Oct 2018

Yes, that has to be her, Tammy Mink.  Look at those gorgeous red curls on her picture on thingiverse.

pato58's picture
pato58
Posts: 102
Joined: Jun 2018

Cry

MAbound
Posts: 891
Joined: Jun 2016

There are risks that come with being on this board, sharing our stories and struggles, and responding to others. One of them is getting emotionally invested in what happens to each other and the hurt that comes when someone loses their fight. I don't think I've ever felt this helpless since being here. Her story was so compelling and I really wanted her to have a better chance of more life to enjoy after what she went through to get where she was. It all just seems so unfair, but I take comfort that she still lurked with us even after she stop posting. I hope that made her feel less alone when we kept posting that we were still concerned about her. I don't think I'll ever forget her or any of you here, for that matter. This forum is such a lifeline.

BluebirdOne's picture
BluebirdOne
Posts: 207
Joined: Jul 2018

Her statement that she won't see Easter really got to me, she was right. This one hit me very hard, maybe because she is the first of us that I actually knew that lost her fight, knowing that all of us are still fighting.  Did she even get 6 months after dx? Horrifying for her and her family to have to endure. I count every day I am NED as a gift...

 

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2613
Joined: Mar 2013

Thank you, cmb, for your sleuthing.  This is terribly sad.  That poor, young woman.  My heart breaks for her family and I think how she has touched all of our lives.  

evolo58
Posts: 293
Joined: Dec 2017

But there are just too, too many conicidences. That one Thingsverse picture definitely looks like her, the location, the first name, the age group. And I was wondering why she didn't stop around after some here asked about her. Like many here, I feared the worst.

I wonder if the insurance company that kept denying her the Doxil and Avastin together didn't have a role in this. If they had allowed her to do the Doxil and Avastin together, I wonder if the outcome would have been better; if she might have had more time here. She shouldn't have had to jump through so many hoops to get the treatment she needed. She had MMMT, I believe, which ... well ... if we UPSC patients think we're under-represented, MMMT patients have it far worse. I am so tired of insurance games. It's ridiculous.

My condolences to her family and friends.

zsazsa1
Posts: 356
Joined: Oct 2018

LadyMox stated that it was endometrial adenocarcinoma, stage IVB.  I too was so angry about the insurance denial.  She was in no shape to fight that battle with the insurance, and there was nothing that any of us could really do to help her.  Bluebird, you put into words my feelings too, since she was of our "era" on the board, and died so quickly of her disease, and was just so young.  When I saw that her Ca-125 had come down from 120 at diagnosis to about 12 after a few rounds of chemo, but then the scan showed that the tumor had doubled in size during that time, I was devastated for her.  And fearful for myself.

I hope that the messages of support to her from all of us were some comfort to her in her struggle.

evolo58
Posts: 293
Joined: Dec 2017

I don't see any MMMT mentioned, particularly in her profile, so I seem to be mistaken. 

What  saddens me further about her situation ... I don't think she was even able to have surgery. The onco was still trying to shrink the problem area, from what I could tell. She was so looking forward to the possibilty of the tumor being removed. She signed up in September, and from the tone of her posts, just found out she had cancer sometime around then. Only five months or so ... it happened so quickly. And her family tried so, so hard to get her treatments, despite the insurance company. 

The other possibility re Lady Mox was that she had the surgery, but also had awful complications. Mostly likely, though, she would have mentioned the surgery date here, but maybe everything happened so quickly. 

By the way, cmb, thank you for archiving the posts you were able to save. Without those, we would have lost a whole lot more than we did.

 

BluebirdOne's picture
BluebirdOne
Posts: 207
Joined: Jul 2018

No doubt that the insurance denial contributed to her death, no one will ever know if she would have overcome the cancer had she been approved, or at least had more time and hope. Her death is the stuff of my nightmares, forcing me to come back to reality and denial, but also reminded of the cruel path this disease takes. Our support of one another not only to educate but to commiserate when the outcome is devastating is critical. 

barnyardgal
Posts: 227
Joined: Oct 2017

I forgot that she didn't have surgery right away. I thought that was odd. I know that's common for breast cancer. Do chemo first and then do surgery, but I've never heard of that with uterine cancer. It looks like she was diagnosed in August 2018.  This is really just awful. I really wish she could have had that second opinion.

Recently, I heard that an insurance company was sued because they didn't want to pay for proton beam therapy that was recommended by her doctors. The patient died and the family sued and won. People dealing with cancer shouldn't have to fight the insurance companies to get treatment their doctors recommend. It's just crazy.

CheeseQueen57's picture
CheeseQueen57
Posts: 820
Joined: Feb 2016

I was really concerned about her quality of care. I agree that it didn’t make sense that she didn’t have surgery. Did anyone on here not have surgery as their first line treatment?  Then when she did get a second opinion, apparently the hospital didn’t send her records and apparently she didn’t know she could carry her records and disks with her. I don’t know who was fighting the insurance company for her but my philosophy is get the care you need when you need it and fight them later. They can’t get blood out of a stone. Insurance companies can’t deny care, they can just deny payment. It appears that she so much could have benefited from a good patient advocated.   I’m afraid she fell through the cracks. I really don’t think in this day and age that someone with this diagnosis should have died in 6 months. It makes me so mad how treatment varies so much in this country which effects survivorship. 

evolo58
Posts: 293
Joined: Dec 2017

Because the nodules were so many initially, the onco opted for neoadjuvant treatment ... three chemos before, three after (in my case, it was actually five after). It's not typical, but not uncommon.

MugsBugs
Posts: 110
Joined: Jan 2018

This is such sad news!  D*mn insurance companies!  Praying she is at peace!

Forherself's picture
Forherself
Posts: 241
Joined: Jan 2019

had such a large tumor at diagnosis that they hoped to shrink the tumor before she had surgery.  I don't think she ever had surgery.   it was inoperable.   She did go to a reputable cancer center.  Her cancer doubled in size while her CA-125 went way down and she was receiving chemotherapy.  I don't think she got bad care.   Remember every person is different.  One of my high school friends just died of cancer after finding out he had it just before Christmas.  It is hard to accept 

LadyMox was posting when I first joined the board so I was reading every post. RIP

zsazsa1
Posts: 356
Joined: Oct 2018

Yes, her tumor was inoperable at diagnosis.  The hope was that chemo would shrink it so that surgery could be done, but as we know, that didn't happen.  Nothing that she reported about her medical care raised any concern of inadequate care.

janaes
Posts: 783
Joined: May 2016

I thought i remembered her posting something that said her fsmilyvwas going to help pay for the chemo drug that the insurance wouldnt cover. I thought she was taking it. Tell me if im wrong though.

evolo58
Posts: 293
Joined: Dec 2017

How long they could do it. Avastin is really expensive ... in "insurance-land", it's 25K! (Source ... my own bill.) With adjustments, it would be much cheaper of course, but how much?

Kathy G.'s picture
Kathy G.
Posts: 212
Joined: Dec 2012

So incredibly sad.

Hope she has found peace.

Armywife's picture
Armywife
Posts: 327
Joined: Feb 2018

I hate to see this.  I'm sorry for her struggle, and praying for her family in their grief.

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