My dogs are barking!

Kazenmax
Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member

So I'm looking at 3 more treatment  cycles of Avastin infusion and Xeloda pills. My side effects has increased over time. I have severe fatigue during the 2 weeks of pills and extreme nausea the second week. But my feet are terrible! I can hardly walk. They feel like they are burning up but they are not cracking and I keep using  bag  balm. My feet hurt to touch them. Putting on shoes is rough. Once they are on, I do better but I limp around. My fingertips also hurt. They feel as though I've cut my nails to the quick. Every time I touch something with my fingertips I get sharp pain.

I'm also experiencing very dry and itchy skin. It's like eczema. And best of all I am developing a lot of rosecea on my face. ugh.

It's not easy going through chemo. There are times when I think I will never feel good again. I try to not get down but it's  been hard. Because my colorectal cancer came back in my lungs, I'm afraid to ask the doctor to reduce dosage. I had such a hard time the first time with oxiliplaten that I asked to reduce the dosage and son of a gun it came back a year later in my lung. So I'm trying to suffer through but it's hard.

I'm lucky in that I have a wonderful husband who has taken on EVERYTHING. He cooks, cleans, works, everything without complaint. I get so depressed. We used to do everything together. Now he has to do it all. Because of me, we don't do anything. I see my friends and family enjoying life and here I sit... miserable.

Sorry, I just had to unload. The last week has been rough and I don't know how to get myself out of this mire.

k

 

Comments

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,626 Member
    Just remember

    If it were your husband suffering, YOU would happily take on everything.  And, in the grand scheme of things, this won't last forever, and soon, you will both be sharing everything again. 

    You know its normal to get down.  When the body is hurting, the soul hurts as well.  

    The hand and foot problem sounds awful. Its not neuropathy, right?  I wasn't on your cocktale, but I did have minor splitting on my hands and feet, and it never healed untl after chemo, so keep on with that Bag Balm. 

    I wish there were a magic wand to wave, and take away your pains, both physical and emotional. 

    Wishing you the best. 

    Tru

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member
    Trubrit said:

    Just remember

    If it were your husband suffering, YOU would happily take on everything.  And, in the grand scheme of things, this won't last forever, and soon, you will both be sharing everything again. 

    You know its normal to get down.  When the body is hurting, the soul hurts as well.  

    The hand and foot problem sounds awful. Its not neuropathy, right?  I wasn't on your cocktale, but I did have minor splitting on my hands and feet, and it never healed untl after chemo, so keep on with that Bag Balm. 

    I wish there were a magic wand to wave, and take away your pains, both physical and emotional. 

    Wishing you the best. 

    Tru

    Thanks Tru

    and same to you. I hate to whine but today is rough. 

    It could be neuropathy. I certainly hope it goes away after all this. I will ask the oncologist.

    k

     

  • SandiaBuddy
    SandiaBuddy Member Posts: 1,262 Member
    Chemo is hell

    Chemo is hell.  You came to the right place to complain.  People here understand.  Maybe a glass of wine and a funny movie would help?  So sorry you are going through this.

  • NewHere
    NewHere Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    Kazenmax said:

    Thanks Tru

    and same to you. I hate to whine but today is rough. 

    It could be neuropathy. I certainly hope it goes away after all this. I will ask the oncologist.

    k

     

    You Are Not Whining

    With all the things that we are going through in general with treatments and cancer, the most impressive part is how there really is not a ton of whining, just a couple of down days now and again.  It is not a great experience.  So do not beat yourself up.  Also remember each part of the cocktail helps a bit with percentages but not 100%  If it is beating you up too much,  it may be able to be changed somewhat so as not to really change the effectiveness, but can make it a lot more tolerable for you.

     

    If you want something to whine about, wait until my GMEN DESTROY the Eagles this evening.  LOL Not really   As I tell people, being a Giants Fan is tougher than being a cancer patient.  Laughing

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member
    edited October 2018 #6
    NewHere said:

    You Are Not Whining

    With all the things that we are going through in general with treatments and cancer, the most impressive part is how there really is not a ton of whining, just a couple of down days now and again.  It is not a great experience.  So do not beat yourself up.  Also remember each part of the cocktail helps a bit with percentages but not 100%  If it is beating you up too much,  it may be able to be changed somewhat so as not to really change the effectiveness, but can make it a lot more tolerable for you.

     

    If you want something to whine about, wait until my GMEN DESTROY the Eagles this evening.  LOL Not really   As I tell people, being a Giants Fan is tougher than being a cancer patient.  Laughing

    Being an EAGLES fan

    had already made me tough. LOL. Should be a great game! 

    I'm a typical Eagles fan... when they suck, I say they suck and they do suck this year. LOL

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member
    edited October 2018 #7

    Chemo is hell

    Chemo is hell.  You came to the right place to complain.  People here understand.  Maybe a glass of wine and a funny movie would help?  So sorry you are going through this.

    Thanks!

    yes, chemo is hell. Some days are worse than others. That's where I'm at right now. I hope I get past it soon. Not fun!

  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    I found acupressure insoles that help tremendously

    Unfortunately, the ones I got (by Zeta Technology) are no longer made.  However, I have them in all of my shoes, and it makes a world of difference.

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478
    Kazenmax, when you talk about

    Kazenmax, when you talk about your relationship with your husband it sounds like something I could write myself. My husband does most of the things around here without a word of complaint. When I feel bad about it and start crying he tells me he knows I'd do it for him and he doesn't mind, he's just grateful that I'm still here. He's had to do many things on his own that we'd have done together, too. I feel horrible for how my illness has made his retirement years not at all what he'd aniticipated. He deserves a better life than he has now thanks to my cancer.

    I do as much as I can. If I have a good day I'll do things around the house and make dinner. I used to be someone who couldn't sit still, I always had to be doing something. Now I've gotten used to relaxing and taking naps and not stressing because there's dog hair on the baseboards or things like that. I see it but it doesn't eat at me like it did before.

    Your husband most likely feels like mine. If doing more around thehouse is the price he pays for having you he's more than willing to do it. He knows you'd do it for him.

    Jan

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member
    abrub said:

    I found acupressure insoles that help tremendously

    Unfortunately, the ones I got (by Zeta Technology) are no longer made.  However, I have them in all of my shoes, and it makes a world of difference.

    Interesting

    I will have to ask my doc about them

    Thanks

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member
    JanJan63 said:

    Kazenmax, when you talk about

    Kazenmax, when you talk about your relationship with your husband it sounds like something I could write myself. My husband does most of the things around here without a word of complaint. When I feel bad about it and start crying he tells me he knows I'd do it for him and he doesn't mind, he's just grateful that I'm still here. He's had to do many things on his own that we'd have done together, too. I feel horrible for how my illness has made his retirement years not at all what he'd aniticipated. He deserves a better life than he has now thanks to my cancer.

    I do as much as I can. If I have a good day I'll do things around the house and make dinner. I used to be someone who couldn't sit still, I always had to be doing something. Now I've gotten used to relaxing and taking naps and not stressing because there's dog hair on the baseboards or things like that. I see it but it doesn't eat at me like it did before.

    Your husband most likely feels like mine. If doing more around thehouse is the price he pays for having you he's more than willing to do it. He knows you'd do it for him.

    Jan

    Exactly

    Jan,

    You expressed how I feel to a tee. I know my husband loves me and I'm so lucky to have him. I could never have gotten this far without him.

    K

  • plsletitrain
    plsletitrain Member Posts: 252 Member
    I hear you (again ;))

    Because we're almost of the same situation (lung met removed via VATS) and now doing mop-up chemo.  I got depressed during this time of treatment, maybe because when its your first you feel so upbeat but when you go do it all over again and the side effects mount up, it makes you weaker, both physically and emotionally.  At times I'd like to throw the towel in, heck I had thoughts of just jumping from the building while on chemo! I hated it.  

    Here's a shout-out to our husbands! My husband does the draining of my illeostomy bag for me.  Not even the nurse (because I'm inpatient for 3 days while receiving chemo) and I don't have a port so my other hand is immobile.  My husband does that for me.  My husband also makes my fresh fruit juices.  He's my hero.  I don't think I'll ever manage if it wasn't for him.  (Oh I feel teary-eyed while typing this).

    Anyway, is it blisters you're experiencing? I've had those while on xeloda and avastin too.  It wasn't very painful but yes it could be bothersome.  Let's do this! 

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member

    I hear you (again ;))

    Because we're almost of the same situation (lung met removed via VATS) and now doing mop-up chemo.  I got depressed during this time of treatment, maybe because when its your first you feel so upbeat but when you go do it all over again and the side effects mount up, it makes you weaker, both physically and emotionally.  At times I'd like to throw the towel in, heck I had thoughts of just jumping from the building while on chemo! I hated it.  

    Here's a shout-out to our husbands! My husband does the draining of my illeostomy bag for me.  Not even the nurse (because I'm inpatient for 3 days while receiving chemo) and I don't have a port so my other hand is immobile.  My husband does that for me.  My husband also makes my fresh fruit juices.  He's my hero.  I don't think I'll ever manage if it wasn't for him.  (Oh I feel teary-eyed while typing this).

    Anyway, is it blisters you're experiencing? I've had those while on xeloda and avastin too.  It wasn't very painful but yes it could be bothersome.  Let's do this! 

    Not blisters

    But they are burning up. Very painful when I walk. I think it's neuropathy. But I will definitely talk to my onc.

    How lucky are we to have the opportunity to see how heroic our partner are! My husband has done things that I could never ask someone else. 

    K

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member
    I so appreciate this board

    I was feeling pretty low and really I have no one who understands. You all help me get thru.

    Thank you

    K

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member
    Sorry

    I'm sorry you are feeling so deflated right now but once you are off treatment you will start to feel better.  It is rough going through what you are and hurting everything that touches you doesn't help.  I'm not sure if you asked the doctor about some lotion you could use to alleviate the pain especially in the feet so you are able to walk.  Your husband sounds like a real trooper.  My husband helped a lot too.  It's hard to watch someone else do the things you used to do.  Just try to get better and soon you will be taking all this over from your husband.  Hoping you feel better soon.

    Kim

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member

    Sorry

    I'm sorry you are feeling so deflated right now but once you are off treatment you will start to feel better.  It is rough going through what you are and hurting everything that touches you doesn't help.  I'm not sure if you asked the doctor about some lotion you could use to alleviate the pain especially in the feet so you are able to walk.  Your husband sounds like a real trooper.  My husband helped a lot too.  It's hard to watch someone else do the things you used to do.  Just try to get better and soon you will be taking all this over from your husband.  Hoping you feel better soon.

    Kim

    Thanks

    I will ask my doc about the lotion. Good idea!

  • SonicSedition
    SonicSedition Member Posts: 30
    Hi Kazenmax sorry you are here

    Sorry you find yourself here and I totally get how you feel. I barely made it through my first round but I wasn't on Avastin. It was so severe that the Dr recommended we increase the Xeloda and take me off infusions. My neuropathy was insane after just one round. And... actual pain from toes to calf muscles. I could hardly walk, so I totally get it. I got a recommendation to use Eucerin Original Healing for my feet and hands which so far is more of a neuropathy issue and no so much the typical hand/foot issue so many have, but it's early on.

    Like your husband, my wife took on everything including working 4-10 hr days at work, driving 30 miles the other 3 days to take care of our grandkids and taking care of me when she is here. It's a tough road for everyone. Know that everyone is here for you and I truely hope things improve for you soon.

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member
    thanks

    Yes I think I'm in the same situation. While my feet and hands are dry, they are not cracking and the lotion helps. But I think it's neuropathy that makes it difficult to walk. My finger tips are very sensitive with everything. I can hardly open anything or push buttons. but my feet are so painful. The process of putting on shoes is awful. My heel scrapes the end of the shoe and I have to cry out. I'm 6 days out from my previous cycle and my feet and hands have improved but they still hurt. I just hope that it goes away when I finish treatment.

    Wednesday I start a new cycle. I'm feeling good and I dread starting it again. All my family keep saying is "wow... only 3 more treatments". what they don't realize is that these three are so hard. also... the whole thought of cancer never goes away. even though you get NED status, that just means you don't have cancer right now. there's always the threat.

    I just hope when all this is done, I can begin to live my life again.

    Good luck to you as  well,

    k

  • SonicSedition
    SonicSedition Member Posts: 30
    Kazenmax said:

    thanks

    Yes I think I'm in the same situation. While my feet and hands are dry, they are not cracking and the lotion helps. But I think it's neuropathy that makes it difficult to walk. My finger tips are very sensitive with everything. I can hardly open anything or push buttons. but my feet are so painful. The process of putting on shoes is awful. My heel scrapes the end of the shoe and I have to cry out. I'm 6 days out from my previous cycle and my feet and hands have improved but they still hurt. I just hope that it goes away when I finish treatment.

    Wednesday I start a new cycle. I'm feeling good and I dread starting it again. All my family keep saying is "wow... only 3 more treatments". what they don't realize is that these three are so hard. also... the whole thought of cancer never goes away. even though you get NED status, that just means you don't have cancer right now. there's always the threat.

    I just hope when all this is done, I can begin to live my life again.

    Good luck to you as  well,

    k

    Im sure you've researched

    Im sure you've researched everything and asked questions but here is some great info on the subject. Don't think we can link URLS, but just copy and paste this into a new browser tab/window.

    https://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatments-and-side-effects/physical-side-effects/peripheral-neuropathy.html

  • plsletitrain
    plsletitrain Member Posts: 252 Member
    K, tell me about it (the "you've only got xx treatments left")

    I wish they knew even just ONE treatment kills me inside, I had to literally drag my foot to the infusion center.  I hate being there, it makes me sad and depressed. :( I'll try to be stronger again.  I also have two more left, I thought I'd scream stop after the 4th treatment but I still have a 3 year-old so I try to be strong but its quite hard, really.