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CT scan results tomorrow, stressed out

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

I get my results for the ct scan and the blood test from this week. The ct will tell me if the mets are growing again and by how much. The blood test will tell me if my CEA has gone up, if my calcium has gone up which would require another 4 hour IV, and if my kidneys are doing okay or I'll have to have another painful stent put in them. So tomorrow is a big day.

I've been feeling better than I have in a long time and have been enjoying the summer. If I go back on chemo my summer will be pretty much ruined because of the sun sensitivity and fatigue. Plus I'll have to walk around with that creepy rash again. I need a break so badly. I havent enjoyed a summer since my diagnosis. The first one I'd just had surgery and had a very hard time with the after effects and side effects. I was sick and in the hospital for a big part of it and was very depressed at having to sell my business due to the cancer. The next summer was after I'd had the blood clot and I was still really weak from being paralyzed. And one of my step sons lived with us and he was awful to me. The next summer I was working and was very weak when I was at home after work. Then last summer on chemo. I'm praying that this summer will be a good one.

I just had to share this because you guys are the only people that truly understand. I can't stop thinking about tomorrow and thinking things like 'in 24 hours will I be really upset?' Or will I be delighted with the news?

I hate the pre result jitters. My husband thinks the reason why we can't just get it on line here is because we have universal health care. The doctor makes $25 to give the results. Which is not much more than the cost of parking at the cancer centre.

Jan

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5292
Joined: Jan 2013

There's nothing I can do or say to make those jitters go away. Wish I could. 

I will be thinking of you, and watching the forum for your (good) news. 

HUGS!

Tru

SandiaBuddy's picture
SandiaBuddy
Posts: 1126
Joined: Apr 2017

Yes, we understand.  There is not much more you can do than to take a deep breath, enjoy what the day has to give you, and wait for the results.  We are all hoping for a good outcome.  By the way, I have stopped looking at results online and wait for the doctor to tell me.  That avoids my misinterpreting things and gives me a few more days of ignorant bliss.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6612
Joined: Feb 2009

It's so scary to have those tests.  I'm praying that all goes well. 

Kim

BRHMichigan's picture
BRHMichigan
Posts: 368
Joined: Jul 2017

Oh, we all are rooting for a great summer for you! Praying for good results. It's so nice you're enjoying more good days than bad now. I hate CT scans so much. I read my last results online which threw me into depression. Never again. 

You have been so resilient. Get some rest and do whatever it takes to help alleviate that awful anxiety. 

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
Posts: 666
Joined: Jul 2016

Good luck on your test results. I’ve got my fingers crossed for you. You deserve a break.

gul1976's picture
gul1976
Posts: 42
Joined: Mar 2018

Good Luck!!

 

Cindy225's picture
Cindy225
Posts: 172
Joined: Feb 2017

.... and prayers today Jan.

Cindy

Phoenix_66's picture
Phoenix_66
Posts: 118
Joined: Jun 2017

Praying for good test results!

PamRav's picture
PamRav
Posts: 284
Joined: Jan 2017

you receive only great news today!

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

Thank you all for the kind responses. You made me tear up. I'm so thankful for this forum and for having people who get it and have been in my place. My stomach is upset and I slept badly. I prayed for just a couple more months of feeling like myself again. I'm normally a busy person who does not relax well. If something needs to be done, I do it. It's been wonderful being able to be myself again. I hate having to let that go again if the results aren't good. Now for the wait. My appointment isn't until this afternoon so I get to sit here dreading it all morning.

Thank you all for caring and being here!

Hugs,

Jan 

betula's picture
betula
Posts: 86
Joined: Mar 2017

Hoping for the best results!  You have been through so much and have remained so strong!

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

Thank you. I've been crying off and on so far today. This is it. Today I will know if my summer will be crappy and I can hardly do anything or if I can have a summer of doing things. We have pandas at the city we live near and I'd like to go see them, there's a horse clinic in August I want to go to, we have free passes to alocal world reknowned show jumping facility. All of that will be impossible if I'm back on chemo.

Jan

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5292
Joined: Jan 2013

unless you're on chemo. 

Either that, or if it has to be, you have a better go around than all of the others 

We're waiting to hear good news. 

Tru

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 1089
Joined: Aug 2013

Hope it's going your way Jan, a nice summer is a terrible thing to waste, though it's my least favorite season down here just because heat makes work harder. I'm rooting for you to be able to get the most from yours.............................................Dave

lizard44's picture
lizard44
Posts: 409
Joined: Apr 2015

Keeping my fingers crossed that you get to enjoy your summer.

Grace/lizard44

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

Okay, I have my results. I can wait until September because my mets have hardly grown at all and my CEA isn't up by much. So Yay!!!!

But, there's always a but, the report says that a tumour in my right lung and one in my liver have both grown a bit. This is the first my onc or I have heard of any other tumours. She said one of two things can happen. They could have shown up before and were believed to be benign so nobody bothered to mention them. Or they actually are nothing and the ct person is having trouble reading the scan. Partly due to the fact that I don't get the contrast. My liver values or whatever they're called have improved.

Jan

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 2138
Joined: Mar 2010

CTs and all do slices, so if they don't start at exactly the same spot, there is a few millimeters of variance that can be meaningless.  Hoping those findings are just "artifact."  Meanwhile, I'm thrilled that you have your summer back.  September is when I go back as well to find out how much my new tumor has grown...

Wishing you well,

Alice

SandiaBuddy's picture
SandiaBuddy
Posts: 1126
Joined: Apr 2017

Congratulations on having your Summer.  I hope you live every minute of it!  Reading CT's seems to be more of a form of art, rather than a science.  I did not know why until I watched one with my doctor.  They only deal with slices of your body and the screens appear very ambiguous to me--just lots of grey and white, if my memory serves me correctly.  One person can interpret them one way and a second person another way.  The best thing to do is live, live, live.

Phoenix_66's picture
Phoenix_66
Posts: 118
Joined: Jun 2017

Congratulation on the good scan results. Hope you can have a great and restful summer. 

Butt's picture
Butt
Posts: 355
Joined: May 2018

Jan, I was really waiting for your update....Butt.

Ruthmomto4's picture
Ruthmomto4
Posts: 674
Joined: May 2013

had I commented yesterday I would have said I think it’s going to be good and you will get to enjoy your summer, and I am so happy to scroll down and see I was right! Those stupid scans always have to have something in them to make us worry, if the Dr isn’t worried don’t worry. Sounds to me for the most part you are stable. Enjoy and I hope you are feeling better!

lizard44's picture
lizard44
Posts: 409
Joined: Apr 2015

I've had those ambiguous results on  scans, too. In the meantime, I've decided to live as best I can, as fully as I can  for as long as I can. It's not always easy, but it is doable if you work on it and at it. Enjoy your summer- seize the day, and the season, and wring every drop of living out of it that you can, and if there's any left over, spread it around for somebody else who needs it.

Grace/lizard44 

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
Posts: 666
Joined: Jul 2016

Yaaaaaaaaaaaa for Jan! Here comes summer!

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6612
Joined: Feb 2009

Just enjoy the summer.  Sounds like you can take a breath.  Try not to worry or think about anything else but enjoying the nice warm and sunny 3 months ahead of you.

Kim

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

Thank you so much everyone! I'm going to file the possible new tumours in the 'do not worry about what you can't fix' file and just enjoy my life. Hopefully, there will be good news about them in the end. I have to go back on chemo eventually and it will deal with them if they are mets.

When I discussed waiting with my onc she said I should think about it this way. If not doing the chemo right away meant I'd lose two months, the two months I'd lose would be at the end, not right now while I feel good. But she's not saying I'd lose two months, she was just using that amount of time for the example. I like her so much. I'm so lucky to have her.

Jan

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1729
Joined: Nov 2001

   Because I hve always felt that I shouldnt worry until I know what I am worrying about. I am sad that there are no good changes in your medical situation but I am very glad that it gives you a chance to live a little bit of normal life before the battle begins again, Hugs and best wishes. Ron.

Cindy225's picture
Cindy225
Posts: 172
Joined: Feb 2017

So focus on what you can do now and start celebrating the summer Jan!   Enjoy...

Cindy

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5292
Joined: Jan 2013

Yes, I think I will post my dancing man, for your summer.

And then we'll cross the next bridge with you later in the year 

Tru

LearningAsIGo's picture
LearningAsIGo
Posts: 27
Joined: May 2018

Jan, I’m relieved that stressful time before getting your results is over. You have incredible strength and support so many on here. Enjoy your summer and doing all those things you hoped to do! Hugs! -B.

betula's picture
betula
Posts: 86
Joined: Mar 2017

Sounds like you can put this behind you for a bit and enjoy the summer!  Congrats!

Noneya's picture
Noneya
Posts: 35
Joined: Jan 2018

Cool

Just enjoy the summer!

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