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Stage 4 at first diagnosis

Posts: 1
Joined: May 2018

My mother was recently diagnosed with stage 4 Breast Cancer. She has never had cancer before but now I think she’s going to die. It has only been a month since her diagnosis. She has mets in the spine, liver, and lymph nodes. The oncologist ran some tests and (so far) it has not reached her brain. My mother has completed radiation but has not started chemo yet. I’m worried she won’t even make it to chemo. She is a completely different person now, which I definitely understand after getting this news. But she sleeps all day, hardly eats or drinks, and has been hallucinating more and more. What does this mean? I’m scared her body is already shutting down. My father died from glioblastoma grade 4 five years ago and had these same symptoms before he died. I don’t know what to do or how to help her, and I don’t think she’s going to be strong enough for chemo. 

Posts: 259
Joined: Mar 2017

Sorry to hear about your Mom..but she is blessed to have you with her....JUST being there with her and loving her is what you do..do little thing around the house to help her (cleaning , change bath mat colors cook etc) keeping things as normal for her a possible talk about it and let her know you are there for her..go with her to doctor appointments if possible and write things down that dr say ..its a lot to take in ...and above all tAKE CARE OF YOURSELF..she is probally more worried about you than herself a lot of the time..I know i worry about my daughter and her kids even more now that I had my surgery (left breast removal little over year ago) you always want them to be Okay. talk about how good things are going with you ..just small talk. HUGS AND LOVE GOES A LONG WAY....prayers and blessing to you and you mom...hang in there.


Apaugh's picture
Posts: 856
Joined: Aug 2016

People think Pallative care is for the end times and it is not.  This care is an addition to treatments and can be of so much help to your mother and to you. 

Keep us posted and prayers going up for you and your mom.



Posts: 26
Joined: Mar 2018


Agreed.  I just had a meeting a pallitive care doctor and it made me feel more in control of my care and life.  When cancer takes away a ton of your control, this gave me some power and I found it - relieving to some degree.  For example, I did not have a health care proxy.  Now I do.  I ned to update my will.  I found the meeting very informative.  Grateful.  -Kat

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