Day 3

My wonderful husband, 47 years old, was taken from me by cancer three days ago. My heart is broken for my children and myself. I have never felt such pain. He was my best friend, the love of my life. Today seemed like the longest day as I continie to prepare for his funeral. Most of the time I try faking he is at work or golfing, but I find myself coming back to reality and it makes it hard to function for a little while. As if it wasn’t bad enough losing him, I also am grieving for who I used to be. I have been a caregiver for so long I hardly know who I am anymore. I found myself shopping for things for him to eat at the store, it was surreal looking for thank you cards for the funeral reception as well as our sons high school graduation that he was two weeks shy of making it to. Time seems to march on but I feel like I am standing still. God gave me the greatest gift and allowed for him to pass in my arms, but We are never ready for death. I have been working through anticipatory grief for months now, and after it happened it ripped me apart. I have the children to keep me going and they have me, but a part of me went with him, I think. I am truly heartbroken.


  • scared427
    scared427 Member Posts: 1
    i lost my husband age 55 to

    i lost my husband age 55 to stage 4 colon cancer December 29 2017 after four years of battling it.i am lost with out him here he was always the one encouraging me and telling me I was a strong woman but I am not we were married for 35 years and dated for 4 years.He was my rock he had taken care of me in many ways i had two hip replacements done and five back surgerys the last one was just 22 days before he passed away and he was right there when I woke up from my surgery crying and telling me he loved me and was so glad I was ok he had made our son bring him to the hospital a week and a half later he was bed reddened to a hospital bed we had Put in the living room me and are son and daughter was by his side when he passed away that was the hardest thing I had every been through and then on december the 30 my mom passed away I lost two of my best friends aday apart.I stay in bed most of the time I cry all the time and with the back fusion that I just had I am not able to work so I stay in bed my husband was my life are kids are grown and have there own lives I make out like every thing is ok but I am so lonely with out him here I try really hard to do what I can by my self and so I don’t bother my kids but I am not allowed to pick up anything and bend and to try and sweep or mop takes me hours to do I don’t no how to live with out him we have been together for 39 yeara total he was every thing to me.