The Woods

airborne72 Member Posts: 286 Member

I had a CT scan last week (approximately 90 days after adjuvant chemo) and was counseled yesterday by my oncologist regarding the results.  I am not out of the woods yet.  The radiologist who read the scan detected some areas/items of interest.  My oncologist is now in the process of coordinating a colonoscopy to better define the issue.

So I now have that "flicker" of doubt in my mind that perhaps my cancer is renewing its presence.  Within weeks I should know more and I will post that information as it becomes available.  There are several words that I would like to say, but I'll just sum it up with DARN it!



  • Tunadog
    Tunadog Member Posts: 235
    Best of Luck..

    I had a flicker of brightness. Could be fatty tissue.

     I had a recurrence. It’s a pain in the @#$

  • PamRav
    PamRav Member Posts: 336 Member
    Here’s hoping

    Those areas of interest are uninteresting    The waiting and not knowing is a hellish place to be.  I wish you peace while you wait this one out 


  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478
    Ugh. I hate the vague answers

    Ugh. I hate the vague answers to things. So often it's 'well, we don't really know but we think'. So frustrating. I hope it's nothing serious, my fingers are crossed for you. As Tom Petty said in his song the waiting is the hardest part.


  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,625 Member
    I was thinking of you, yesterday

    Knowing that you went in to get your results. 

    I agree with JanJan; hate the vauge answers. Its either there or it isn't. Wish it were that simple. 

    Fingers crossed that you just have imflamation being picked up by the CT. 

    I will keep my eyes peeled for your updates. 


  • BRHMichigan
    BRHMichigan Member Posts: 368
    edited March 2018 #6
    Oh Jim

    We're all praying this turns out to be a big nothing.  Really sorry to hear this news, but know you'll take it one step at a time like you have everything else. When I reflect back since diagnosis, I feel like I was on auto pilot for much of it. No time to make decisions just go go go. 

    Hope you aren't too discouraged. You got this. 


  • SandiaBuddy
    SandiaBuddy Member Posts: 1,259 Member
    Double ugh

    Uncertainty is tough.  I had a similar experience where there was an ambiguous (cancer or fecal matter) image on the CT scan.  I spent sleepless nights for about six weeks before the colonoscopy, which gave me the all clear.  Hopefully you will have a similar result.  But no matter what anyone says, it does not stop the gnawing doubt that visits late at night.  You have my sympathies and best wishes.

  • Ruthmomto4
    Ruthmomto4 Member Posts: 707 Member
    I swear those radiologists

    just have to find something, even tiniest little speck and they word with these big words that really just mean lump or small so irritating! I hope it’s nothing, I really think it’s just nothing that my official diagnosis :)

  • plsletitrain
    plsletitrain Member Posts: 252 Member
    Jim, I believe its nothing...

    Given your stage which is not advanced (you're stage 2 right?) the chance of a recurrence is quite low.  You underwent chemo for 3 cycles and I believe that's enough to eradicate the cancer cells.  But I understand, the possibility of a recurrence will always linger on our mind.  Its unavoidable. I myself had a break-down (not really like a walling crying thing,but more like I felt dizzy and felt like fainting when my onco told me there's a something in my lung) I refused and still refuse to believe him but I'm still undergoing chemo just in case.  Until now I don't want to think that the nodule on my lung is cancerous, and I'm due for a PET-CT scan soon and I'm not sure I could embrace any bad news but no matter, let's hope and pray for the best.  I believe in miracles.  


    I personally believe its nothing serious, I guess just an inflammation but in case its something more than that, its good its caught early and you still can do something to remove it.  

  • airborne72
    airborne72 Member Posts: 286 Member
    JanJan63 said:

    Ugh. I hate the vague answers

    Ugh. I hate the vague answers to things. So often it's 'well, we don't really know but we think'. So frustrating. I hope it's nothing serious, my fingers are crossed for you. As Tom Petty said in his song the waiting is the hardest part.


    Apropo musical lyrics

    How about the Kinks in 1981?  "paranoia, mean destroyer..."


  • airborne72
    airborne72 Member Posts: 286 Member
    Thanks to all...

    I am very appreciative for everyone's kind and valid comments.  As you well know, we are all in this together.  Your input is therapeutic and valued because you are veterans of this battle.  We have a bond.

    I am back in the mental domain of fighting cancer.  Been in the physical domain most of the time since we decided upon a treatment plan, but now I am back in the mental domain for a few days or weeks until we get this situation quantified.  Controlling one's mind is difficult, especially the subconscious.

    Another recent event is further intensifying my anxiety.  My brother-in-law passed away last week after fighting rectal cancer for three years.  His age, state of health, life style, diagnosis and treatment plan had strong similarities to mine and obviously that has added to my level of concern.

    I am scheduled to have my ileostomy reversed and port removed on 26 March.  Sure would like to not get the cart in front of the horse and avoidably undo something that might have to be used again in the future.  On the other hand, it is very tempting to just have this procedure done and walk away and never look back.

    Just for edification, some of the verbiage in the radiologist's report included:

    1) soft tissue mass-like thickening or enlargement...unclear etiology...underlying mass should be considered

    2) subtle increased nodularity in the ischio rectal fat bilaterally...could reflect lymphatic involvement


  • Mikenh
    Mikenh Member Posts: 777
    I can't believe that

    I can't believe that something might have come back after all that you've been through. I'm in the same boat that you're in, you just left the dock earlier. Hope for the best. What's the schedule on the colonoscopy?

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member

    It's a good thing that you are getting a colonoscopy just to make sure that is clear too.  They recommended a colonoscopy for me about 7 months after reversal.  It's always so hard just waiting.  If a doctor had to go through the "wait game" that they put their patient's through it would be totally different and they would expedite everything.  I'm wishing you the best and nothing serious.


  • Canadian Sandy
    Canadian Sandy Member Posts: 725 Member
    I had the same thing told to

    I had the same thing told to me first scan after my surgery. Enlarged lymph nodes suspicious for mestastisis, spot on liver and peritoneum.....advise chemo. I was already on chemo but added irinotecan. One treatment of that and ended up in the cancer hospital for three weeks. They told me I was very sick and didn’t know what to do but we’re working on it. Huh! One treatment only and all my hair fell out. I’ve been Ned since 2016 and they don’t know what happened. Huh!  This could be the same in your case Jim. 

  • kmygil
    kmygil Member Posts: 876
    Waiting is the pits

    I hate that you are now on tenterhooks to see what's going on.  Wishing you all false alarms!

  • BRHMichigan
    BRHMichigan Member Posts: 368

    Apropo musical lyrics

    How about the Kinks in 1981?  "paranoia, mean destroyer..."


    Back to Tom Petty...

    I love The Kinks! But I suggest Won't Back Down by Tom Petty. Let's turn this around! You can stand me up at the gates of hell....  It's so dang hard not to let fear take over!  Remind me of this after my next CT on March 20! Lol  

  • Kazenmax
    Kazenmax Member Posts: 458 Member
    Waiting is rough!

    I was told I have two nodules in my left lung. Onc has me waiting 3 months to see if they grow. ((Sigh))

    I want to deal with it now. But it's protocol to wait. Onc said it could be an infection.

    Of course now I'm hyper aware of every cough.

    Good luck to us both!