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We got the call..

bfmom
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2018

Last week we got the call we were dreading. My mom’s biopsy came back cancerous. I’m devastated and scared of losing my mom. She is my best friend and just a strong and wonderful woman. I need her in my life, this can’t be happening. In December of 2017 she started having post menopausal bleeding. She had a ultrasound which showed a 2cm poly. Her gynp has mentioned that the biopsy report has indicated Adenocarcinoma mixed serous high grade. We have an appointment with the oncologist on March 19 and I am beyond scared. Just looking for support here and if any other women have had this time of cancer and if so what are experiencing. My anxiety levels are through the roof but I have to be strong in front of my mom and my 3year old and 6 month old boys. My lives with me and has helped raise my boys. 

Also I want to all you women are beyond strong and my heart goes out to you all.

CheeseQueen57's picture
CheeseQueen57
Posts: 819
Joined: Feb 2016

I don’t have the same cancer as your Mom but have Stage 3, high grade adenocarcinoma. They will stage your mom’s cancer after her hysterectomy. Try to take one step at a time and don’t think of this as an immediate death sentence. There are lots of options for treatment these days. We’re here to try to answer your questions based on our individual journeys and how you can be helpful to Mom. There are many here with your mom‘s type of cancer. Try not to panic. This will be a marathon. 

bfmom
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2018

trying to stay positive but I lost my dad to liver cancer almost 5 years ago. I just remember how difficult the whole process was. This is killing me, I just want to hide.

janaes
Posts: 781
Joined: May 2016

Im so sorry you are dealing with rhis cancer junk. Its not fun.  And havening to deal with it twice is just that much harder.  Being on the end of being the cancer patient, i had cancer twice and was so mad the second time. That might be different with you being the caregiver but i would understand if you had strong feelings. 

Do know that this group is what helped me through. Come here anytime you need to. Get it all out.  Share your feelings. Its okay.

Janae

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1363
Joined: Oct 2015

I have UPSC, which is uterine papillary serous carcinoma.  My gynecologist found it when I was 63 in August of 2015.  I had a total hysterectomy in September of 2015 and then three rounds of chemo.  It was Stage II which meant it spread into my cervix.  A CT scan and x-rays after surgery did not show the cancer had spread any further.  Knock on wood, but I have shown No Evidence of Disease (NED) for two and a half years.

Any cancer diagnosis is devastating but it's not the end of the world.  There are many women on this board who have gone for many years without the cancer returning.  Please read my post on "Newbies" because it explains why, sometimes, it looks like everyone here is either in treatment for their original cancer or a recurrence.

We're here for you and your mom!

Love,

Eldri

Tamlen's picture
Tamlen
Posts: 207
Joined: Jan 2018

I'm sorry to hear your mom's news and see your distress, bfmom. Like your mom, I had post-menopausal bleeding and a 2cm mass was found in an ultrasound in December. I'm two weeks post-hysterectomy with Stage 2, grade 1 adenocarcinoma.

It is a head-spinning experience. I have a dog with terminal cancer and my husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer a few years ago; it runs in his family and fortunately, his was caught super early and his prognosis is outstanding. When I was diagnosed, it felt a little like WTF, do we not have enough to deal with?!? But you play the hand you've been dealt, you know?

How you play it, though, is up to you.

The forum has been so helpful to me, so I'm glad you've found us. There is much wisdom here for we "newbies." One thing others said to me, as CheeseQueen57 said to you, is that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Things may not happen or be known as quickly as you want them to be. Focus on one step at a time and do that step to the best of your ability -- learn about it, figure out the most important questions, focus your energy on helping your mom get through that one step. This has been invaluable advice to me and I hope it helps you, too. As someone who runs her own company and most people would describe as a strong force, it has been an adjustment not to be able to control what happens and when, but I've found it freeing and stabilizing to focus on just the next step and do what needs to be done.

Take good care of yourself, as best you can. You're not helpful to your mom if you wear yourself down and get sick.

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2609
Joined: Mar 2013

bfmom, it is overwhelming.  I can't imagine what my family was thinking when I told them, but I knew I needed them with me, much like you will be for your mom.  I hope your mom is working with a gynecologic oncologist, as they specialize in 'below the belt cancers'.  

Try to take a breath.  She will be given a 'plan' and she will work that plan.  

Abbycat2's picture
Abbycat2
Posts: 644
Joined: Feb 2014

your dear Mom and family. Like Eldri and your Mom, I was diagnosed with UPSC ( Uterine Papillary Serous Carcinoma, a grade 3 or commonly known as an aggressive cancer. You won’t know what you are dealing with until after your Mom’s hysterectomy. She will likely have her uterus removed, her Fallopian tubes, ovaries and some lymph nodes. She may have her omentum removed - I didn’t.  She will also have a pelvic wash to see if any rogue cancer cells are floating around in her abdomen. You and your Mom won’t know what you are dealing with until you get the results of the pathology report based on microscopic study of your Mom’s tissues. I know how devastating a cancer diagnosis is, but know that it is not always a death sentence. I was diagnosed with stage 3a almost 4.5 years ago and as far as I know I am still NED. You can do this- just take one day at a time and try not to second guess what you will be dealing with. You won’t know until you are informed. I know this is your Mom and your love for her is a reminder of how deeply I loved and adored my Mom. I just want you to know that your Mom is fortunate to have such a dear, loving daughter.

Blessings to you both,

Cathy

rcdeman
Posts: 256
Joined: Aug 2016

Dear bfmom, I was in a similar situation to you about a year ago. My dad died 4 years ago from liver cancer and my mom was diagnosed with UPSC Stage IIIC2, Grade 3 in late 2016. I was devastated that I would lose my mom so soon after I lost my dad. I felt like it was the end of the world.

But take a breath! Take one day at a time. I'm assuming your mom will have to undergo surgery followed by chemotherapy and/or possibly radiation, just like my mom did. Right now, it seems you don't have much information until your mom undergoes hysterectomy and you get the reports back. Although it is overwhelming, try to stay positive for your mom. I'm glad your mother has you in her life to take care of her and vice versa.

I will be adding your mother to my prayers!
Rebecca

Armywife's picture
Armywife
Posts: 324
Joined: Feb 2018

Sweet girl, all of us who are mothers and daughters understand your fear.  The shock of the diagnosis takes a while to wear off.  My tears were because I didn't want to leave my adult daughter, and because I wanted to be able to care for my elderly parents.  It's just how families are.  A friend of mine said something very calming to me:  "You're not going to die today!"  Every day I think of that.  Please know that your mom is going to get good care, and that this is not necessarily a death sentence.  Save your energy to help her advocate for a proper treatment plan and a good second opinion.  Enjoy caring for her and having wonderful times with your children and your mom.  We're here for you!

MrsBerry
Posts: 102
Joined: Dec 2017

I am so sorry you are dealing with this shock, nobody wants to hear the “C” word. My type of cancer was different, but my husband is dealing with an aggressive prostate cancer. We were diagnosed within 24 hours of each other.  One thing that helps us is a Catchphrase: T C B - Taking Care of Business. When the information or process gets overwhelming, or one of us gets anxious, we just repeat T C B, baby, we are taking care of businesS, meaning We are fighting one step at a time, doing what needs to be done, doing all we CAN do.

You will be very important to your mom going forward, be with her at appointments as much as you can, listen and learn, write down questions and answers, hold her hand when she needs it. You can get through this, the survivors on this board are proof of it. Hugs to you all. 

pinky104
Posts: 574
Joined: Feb 2013

I was diagnosed with stage IVb (the highest possible stage) of Uterine Papillary Serous Carcinoma in 2010, which is grade 3.  I had it in my uterus, both ovaries, my omentum, and my small intestine.  I had surgery and then chemo, and came out with no evidence of disease.  It came back again last year, wrapped around my ascending colon and in my peritoneum and paracolic gutter.  I again had surgery and chemo, and again ended up with no evidence of disease.  My GYN/onc thinks it may come back again in about another 5 years.  The surgery was rough, the chemo easier although I had to fight some low blood counts.  So I'm still alive and just three weeks short of eight years from my original diagnosis.  It's a tough fight, but there are many survivors.

Joannaray
Posts: 4
Joined: Mar 2018

Hello,

         I am new to this forum, but we are very scared ,my mother in law who is so dear to me just got diagnosed with UPSC.we will see her oncologist first time next Wednesday . my mother in law is a frail 77 years old with medical problems.i am pretty sure, they will say she needs hysterectomy , chemo and radiation, it’s very ironic that I work in a cancer facility in  iCU and I am so familiar what might happen after the surgery. I am not sure how to support my mother in law or my husband in decision making. Which  Im not  sure of a good outcome. I don’t  want to see her in ICU  and be the end of it. Which sadly I see everyday.

          Right now she is fully functional and living life to the fullest . Another thing, my 3 young adult children who are very close to her, basically she helped us raise them up . I dont  have the heart-courage to tell them at this time.  because I know they will not take it well they cannot handle grieve,  be depress, stop working and schooling. I say this because believe it or not . They will choose their grandma over me. Because they have this special relationship of closeness and love that they share And only them can explain.

Thank you,

Joanna

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2609
Joined: Mar 2013

Joanna, the first thing I would suggest is to wait until you see the gyn onc.  They will make a plan for your MIL and she will decide what she wants to do.  Until she knows what she is dealing with, try to get everyone to take a breath.  Until everyone knows what she is dealing with, I don't think there is anything to tell anyone right now.  

Cass83's picture
Cass83
Posts: 151
Joined: Feb 2017

That is the first thing I told my husband when I was diagnosed in 2016. Remember that. Just because it is cancer, does not mean death. Treatments can and many times are succesful. Take one day at a time, and do what the others have suggested already too. This is an excellent source of help and encouragment :)

Northwoodsgirl
Posts: 559
Joined: Oct 2009

Uterine cancer can be survived. Please don’t panic. I can relate to your panic. But please know that uterine cancer is survivable. I am 9 years out from the end of my treatment. Keep having faith and hope. I pray God gives you grace and strength to stand by your Mom no matter what the outcome. Please know that many of us will keep you and your Mom in our prayers! ((Hug))

Lori

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