Have You Read this article?

saltycandy13
saltycandy13 Member Posts: 167 Member
in Uterine/Endometrial Cancer #1

it's on a website titled:  "Patient Modesty for Hysterectomy."  It upset me, it sounds very degrading and humiliating.

 

I am one of those women that MUST gave female staff.  Female nurse, etc., with me.  I do not let the men near me.  With the exception of this doctor, I (really don't like it) but he has the expertise and has done thousands of hysterectomies and is one of the best gyno-oncologists we have in this area so I chose him but aside from him, I want no male nurse or staff of any kind.

 

And what's this about being naked?  And I read a catheter is not necessary for a surgery than is less than 3 hours long.  He said mine would take an hour.  And how is this inserted?  It sounds disgusting.  So a little upset there but I made a list for my visit on Wednesday and will grill this hospital.  I don't like this hospital either.  But this is the only one he works out of so I guess I'm stuck.

 

Please give input.  I would like to know if anyone went through some of this horrific things.

 

karen

Comments

  • MAbound
    MAbound Member Posts: 1,168 Member
    #2
    Mind over modesty

    None of the things you mention are horrific except for how one builds them up in their mind ahead of time. It is just the nature of receiving medical care. One has to adopt the attitude that none of the medical personnel really care about what you look like naked. They've seen it all so many times that it's only a big deal to you and the fact is that you will be totally unaware of anything they do while prepping you in the OR. Relax and don't get in the way of what they have to do to take the best care of you. Stop reading stuff on the internet that only upsets you. You need this surgery, it involves your lady parts, so exposure is a given. Any exposure will be brief because once the surgical field is prepped you are fully drapped except for where the incisions are being made. You won't be aware or remember any of it, so stop getting yourself worked up about it ahead of time or you will be causing unnecessary grief and anxiety to yourself and those trying to get you through your surgery.

    I had the full monty with a radical abdominal hysterctomy. I had to live with a catherter and a drainage tube in for 4 weeks. Both were put in during surgery so I was unaware while they were doing it. The catheter is very necessary to help protect your bladder from injury during the surgery, so don't fuss about having it. Believe me, the catheter is much easier and more temporary than a bladder injury that could leave you incontinent, so having it is something you very much want whether you realize that or not. It's not the length of the surgery that matters, but the proximity of the surgical instruments to what's around your uterus that makes catheterization necessary. It's not as terrible as you are building it up to be, just somewhat inconvenient when you want to move around because you have to remember to take it with you.

    If you let it, surgery is actually the easiest part of the whole shebang. Getting the diagnosis and all of the testing and waiting for the surgery and then the results of the pathology for a plan of action are all harder in my opinion. But if you want to get yourself all worked up about it ahead of time, I imagine it's going to be much more unpleasant for you, so my advice is....don't do that!

  • Donna Faye
    Donna Faye Member Posts: 427 Member
    #3
    MAbound hits the nail on the head

    Believe me, don't get all caught up in the issues that can scare you or anger you. I read the article and it is very general about this type of surgery. If you have uterine cancer, this surgery is not elective. At 77, I have had quite a number of surgeries, 3 children, and many exams. Like MAbound said, nobody is looking at your body except as something to prep properly and do the best job they can. I have 2 sons in the medical field and they echo what I am saying. It does give me comfort that one of the medical sons is always with me and I always introduce them to the surgeon so they know I have a knowledgeable person in the waiting room.Smile  I have had as many males as females and some of the males were better then the females.  Do tell your surgeon about your concerns and if he/she is worth his salt, will put you at ease. Getting well is your goal and feeling comfortable is part of that. However, once you are asleep, nothing will matter except waking up and getting well.  Hugs from an old war horse that has more surgical scars than she can count.

  • ckdgedmom
    ckdgedmom Member Posts: 166 Member
    #4
    modesty

    some of my best nurses are male! 

    I was in the hospital about 5 days (big incision and then I ran a fever) and at least one shift per day was a male nurse and they were such sweet caring men...this last surgery (hernia) I had a male nurse that I loved to pieces...and my radiation tech guys were incredible (and I had to have my butt exposed each time). 

    my gyno oncologist is a woman and she's wonderful but my radiology oncologist is a man and he's the most caring beautiful sweet physician I have ever had...

    they will treat you with respect and you just have to set your brain to a place that says that modesty goes out the window in favor of getting good care. I got over it pretty quickly because we have no choice when dealing with gyno cancers...

    my radiology oncologist to make me laugh--he is the head of radiology oncology for a big hospital system and works out of two offices. One the techs were all men and the other all women. I have been to both offices. The girls wanted me to stay with them at their office but he (the doc) wanted me at the other office because he is there more and likes the machine better for the field. I had a friend having radiation at the other facility and she mentioned to one of the girls that she felt bad for me having all men. So the tech tells the doc and he asks me if it was an issue for me. I assured him that it was not and I loved my guys and had no problem with it. But lol he hired two female techs within 2 weeks of our conversation and told me he intentionally hired women because it never occured to him that maybe we need a female there too...I love him for being so thoughtful to me and his other female patients and frankly even though it didn't matter to me it might to someone else. Like I have said before---the man is named Angel and he lives up to his name...

     

  • saltycandy13
    saltycandy13 Member Posts: 167 Member
    #5
    can't join in

    thanks ladies for all your input.

    I was sexually molested by a primary care male doctor many years ago.  This is something I cannot get off my mind

  • derMaus
    derMaus Member Posts: 558 Member
    #6
    ConnieSW said:

    I assumed something of the sort

    i had a nasty experience with a male doctor many years ago. However, I refuse to let it taint my feelings about all men. As a woman and a nurse I wouldn't want a man to prejudge me based on a bad experience he had with another woman. That's just not fair. If you are honest with your caregivers they will do their best to accommodate you but it may not always be possible to do things the way you want.  Right now the important thing is to get the best treatment you can and go on living your life. Last year I told my dr that I didn't believe I would live 5 years after my diagnosis. I thanked him for making that possible and for all the years I've had with my family since then. I shall always be grateful for him. 

    I like the new picture!

    I like the new picture!

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,678 Member
    #7
    LOL

    It was time to take off the helmet. 

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,678 Member
    #8
    I assumed something of the sort

    i had a nasty experience with a male doctor many years ago. However, I refuse to let it taint my feelings about all men. As a woman and a nurse I wouldn't want a man to prejudge me based on a bad experience he had with another woman. That's just not fair. If you are honest with your caregivers they will do their best to accommodate you but it may not always be possible to do things the way you want.  Right now the important thing is to get the best treatment you can and go on living your life. Last year I told my dr that I didn't believe I would live 5 years after my diagnosis. I thanked him for making that possible and for all the years I've had with my family since then. I shall always be grateful for him. 

  • Nicm
    Nicm Member Posts: 32 Member
    #9
    saltycandy13 said:

    can't join in

    thanks ladies for all your input.

    I was sexually molested by a primary care male doctor many years ago.  This is something I cannot get off my mind

    I'm so sorry this happened to

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. I have thankfully never had this experience, and just wanted to echo what everyone else has said: sometimes we make things worse than they are in our mind. But you have every right to hesitate given your experience. I hope you find what I'm about to say helpful, because it has given me hope: this day and age you can find reviews for doctors on webmd and on the internet. I recently got my colonoscopy done. I was originally going to have it done by one (male) doctor, but I didn't get a good vibe from him. Sure enough, I looked up reviews on Web MD and he got horrible reviews. I changed doctors and picked one in the same practice (so in network), and felt so much more comfortable with him. Best of luck to you!

  • Nicm
    Nicm Member Posts: 32 Member
    #10
    ConnieSW said:

    I assumed something of the sort

    i had a nasty experience with a male doctor many years ago. However, I refuse to let it taint my feelings about all men. As a woman and a nurse I wouldn't want a man to prejudge me based on a bad experience he had with another woman. That's just not fair. If you are honest with your caregivers they will do their best to accommodate you but it may not always be possible to do things the way you want.  Right now the important thing is to get the best treatment you can and go on living your life. Last year I told my dr that I didn't believe I would live 5 years after my diagnosis. I thanked him for making that possible and for all the years I've had with my family since then. I shall always be grateful for him. 

    I feel the same way Connie!

    I feel the same way Connie! My mom had cancer 5 years ago (her cancer is back as of two weeks ago) but I am sooo thankful she's been with us these five years. She's gotten to see 3 of her grandchildren be born, babysat them, and just enjoyed our company. Such a blessing! Precious time!

  • saltycandy13
    saltycandy13 Member Posts: 167 Member
    #11
    MAbound said:

    Mind over modesty

    None of the things you mention are horrific except for how one builds them up in their mind ahead of time. It is just the nature of receiving medical care. One has to adopt the attitude that none of the medical personnel really care about what you look like naked. They've seen it all so many times that it's only a big deal to you and the fact is that you will be totally unaware of anything they do while prepping you in the OR. Relax and don't get in the way of what they have to do to take the best care of you. Stop reading stuff on the internet that only upsets you. You need this surgery, it involves your lady parts, so exposure is a given. Any exposure will be brief because once the surgical field is prepped you are fully drapped except for where the incisions are being made. You won't be aware or remember any of it, so stop getting yourself worked up about it ahead of time or you will be causing unnecessary grief and anxiety to yourself and those trying to get you through your surgery.

    I had the full monty with a radical abdominal hysterctomy. I had to live with a catherter and a drainage tube in for 4 weeks. Both were put in during surgery so I was unaware while they were doing it. The catheter is very necessary to help protect your bladder from injury during the surgery, so don't fuss about having it. Believe me, the catheter is much easier and more temporary than a bladder injury that could leave you incontinent, so having it is something you very much want whether you realize that or not. It's not the length of the surgery that matters, but the proximity of the surgical instruments to what's around your uterus that makes catheterization necessary. It's not as terrible as you are building it up to be, just somewhat inconvenient when you want to move around because you have to remember to take it with you.

    If you let it, surgery is actually the easiest part of the whole shebang. Getting the diagnosis and all of the testing and waiting for the surgery and then the results of the pathology for a plan of action are all harder in my opinion. But if you want to get yourself all worked up about it ahead of time, I imagine it's going to be much more unpleasant for you, so my advice is....don't do that!

    sorry I find you offensive

    it's not what you say, it's how you say it.  I DONT LIKE YOUR TONE.  AM LEAVING THIS GOD FORESAKEN PLACE.  A LOT OF YOU LADIES ARE NICE BUT ONE BAD APPLE HAS TO SPOIL THE WHOLE BUNCH

  • saltycandy13
    saltycandy13 Member Posts: 167 Member
    #12
    Nicm said:

    I'm so sorry this happened to

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. I have thankfully never had this experience, and just wanted to echo what everyone else has said: sometimes we make things worse than they are in our mind. But you have every right to hesitate given your experience. I hope you find what I'm about to say helpful, because it has given me hope: this day and age you can find reviews for doctors on webmd and on the internet. I recently got my colonoscopy done. I was originally going to have it done by one (male) doctor, but I didn't get a good vibe from him. Sure enough, I looked up reviews on Web MD and he got horrible reviews. I changed doctors and picked one in the same practice (so in network), and felt so much more comfortable with him. Best of luck to you!

    YOU are kind

    thank you for being so nice

  • evolo58
    evolo58 Member Posts: 293 Member
    edited January 2018 #13
    One of my best stories

    One of my best stories involved the male gyno who did my myomectomy. (He did a great job, but really, I should have chosen to have the uterus out instead of trying to save it. But hindsight and all that ...) My fibroids were wicked large. One was the size of a small canteloupe; the other the size of a softball. When I had to go for three Lupron shots to shrink them before surgery, I rolled up my sleeve for the first one, thinking it was a traditional shot. My gyno responded hesitantly, "Uh .... not there!" Really awkward pause as my eyes widened and I responded, "You gotta be kidding me!". I got to moon the doctor three times before surgery. I had never mooned anymore before! I would come out with a quip each time. We would both smile about it and just do what needed to be done.

    And that is my feeling about male medical personnel. Get what has to be done, done. All the male doctors I have been dealing with, in all fairness, have a female nurse nearby without my even asking, just in case I feel uncomfortable. (Probably to prevent lawsuits as well.)  If you are uncomfortable in your situation, you might want to ask if there will be a female nurse in the room and request one if there is not. You might want to explain your past experience. If the doctor has an ounce of understanding, that female nurse will be within easy eye contact with you during your procedures. In addition, I was also asked when I first started the treatment at my current center if I was uncomfortable with a male doctor or nurse. If I was, the center would make every effort to use female personnel. In your case, I wouldn't demand and yell, and understand that it might not be possible one or two times, but firmly request. 

    I asked about a catheter for my proposed upcoming surgery. I was told that the details depended upon whether one will be needed. In many cases, one will not. With my open myo, I think I had my catheter in for a couple of days or so, and they removed it in the hospital. It was a little uncomfortable and a little weird to not go to an actual bathroom to do my #1, but bearable. Taking it out was slightly painful, but my nurse did it quickly (not even a 1 ... 2... 3 ...; she just yoinked it out!) and it was only a fleeting pain. It felt like an interior paper cut! I'm not crazy about possibly having another catheter, but my past experience helps me in this case. If it's needed, I will have to do what I will have to do. It's not horrible.

    EDIT ... I don't think that MABound was trying to be snippy or mean. It's just that sometimes, we can read strange things on the Net and get upset over them. I don't think she knew about your past experience before she posted.

    If you still check from time to time, I think the best path to take ... at least it worked in my case ... is to think that shortly, this surgery will be behind you and you can be on the road to healing. I know my surgery worries me sometimes, as is my choice of which doctor I will use, but I say to myself that once Feb. 14th passes, I can get on with the next steps. I am sure that if you are concerned about male personnel, there may be a way to at least minimize those fears (maybe not eliminate them). 


     

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