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2nd time around

Travelmom's picture
Travelmom
Posts: 14
Joined: Dec 2017

Hello all! I am a 53y.o. wife and mother of 3. I was diagnosed July 2016 with colon cancer. Had a 6cm mass in transverse colon. Surgery first then 6 months of chemo. Folfox. Side effects not too bad. Was left with some neuropathy in my feet 2 months after chemo ended. But I think it's getting a bit better. On Cymbalta for that. Was feeling great and finally getting back to a "new normal".  After 7 months passed I had a scan that showed it  returned and settled into both ovaries. 5 and 6 cm each..argggg! Ovaries removed and onto Folfieri. I am also told now that I have a swelled abdominal lymph node and some small nodules in both lungs. I know right?  This thing moves fast. But as bad as it sounds...I don't think you would look at me and see stage IV cancer. I am only on treatment 2 and still have my hair... probably only for another month  but I eat well...walk everyday...go out for dinner...visit friends...I even just came back from Orlando!!! I know things will turn eventually but I guess I'm writing this for 2 reasons. One to say hi and am so glad to find some people that I know will understand when I have something to discuss that no one else will understand but we "colon cancer folks" and 2 to let new comers know that yes, this is the scariest adventure of our lives but it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. I have learned so very much over  the past 2 years. I can hug a stranger who is going through what I have gone through... I laugh at things that used to make my blood boil. I slowly released anger that I used to carry around for things in my past...that I can never change anyway. I love my friends and family deeper and I have let go of anything and everyone that doesn't make me feel loved and supported. I am staying positive not only for myself but for my family and friends. I never want to be the victim. I only want love. Anyway...babble babble. It's nice to be here and I am looking forward to future posts! God bless!

Travelmom

Katijane1's picture
Katijane1
Posts: 8
Joined: Jan 2018

Hello there! 

Just wanted to let u know I read your post and it made me cry, in a good way. I’m so sorry this damn cancer has come back, but I must admit, my father’s cancer has caused me to know and love him at a different level that no one can truly understand unless they are dealing with a loved one with an incurable disease. You are a strong woman. On thing is for sure, you are a strong and courageous woman! I pray things get better for u.

BRHMichigan's picture
BRHMichigan
Posts: 368
Joined: Jul 2017

What wisdom you bring us! Thank you for the encouragement that you offer. It took me awhile to realize we can still enjoy living, even with cancer. I am working hard on relationships and having a positive outlook. It is possible. You are such a great example if someone who doesn't allow fear to take over. Keep on fighting! --Beth

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

You are such a strong woman.  I'll follow your lead.  

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5333
Joined: Jan 2013

Welcome to the forum.  What a wonderful, positive post. I am, of course sorry about your continued struggles, but you are so right about the insight this journey can give us. You have the right attitude and it will take you far. 

I look forward to getting to know you here on the forum. 

TRU

Travelmom's picture
Travelmom
Posts: 14
Joined: Dec 2017

Thanks guys. I wish I could help more people. I walk around chemo and try to meet people. Although I know some just need to rest. I met a woman last time who took my number and recently called me to try and heal me over the phone..(mental imagery). Hey., I'll try anything once! And it can't hurt. She said it worked for her. Now that's a positive attitude! I also think it's important for caregivers to carry on as normal as possible. As hard as it is ..the more you act "sick" , the worse you feel. Don't get me wrong. There are times I cover my face into my pillow and cry my eyes out. But then I splash cold water on my face and make dinner. I write in my journal often and that's where I leave those feelings...on the page! I don't know how much time I have left...but then again I didn't know before I was diagnosed either. I have treatment tomorrow. Hopefully snow will stay at away. I'll keep ya posted. I also would like to say here that I would be happy to speak with anyone with questions or comments anytime. I am very open with my experiences. I need to help others. It helps me feel better. Anyway...I am new so I'm not sure how to complete my back history. Any help is appreciated! Have a sweet day! 

Travelmom

 

 

Ruthmomto4's picture
Ruthmomto4
Posts: 682
Joined: May 2013

I am not the one who sick my husband is. It’s his second recurrence and he is on treatment 8 of 12 before surgery. The one thing we both adhere to super strictly if you act sick the worse you will feel! It’s working here and he doing very well with his treatments. I hope the snow stays away for you (we are getting snow in the morning also) and you are able to get your treatment. i hope you kick this cancer to the curb!

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6650
Joined: Feb 2009

You have a wonderful attitude about what has claimed a part of you which doesn't always seem fair.  We tend to think nothing bad can happen to us but then it does and we are forced to deal with it.  Sounds like you are wanting the best moving forward.  I've not been what you are on so I'm not able to comment on the reactions or side affects, but wishing you well.  Please come on this board when you have questions as many people on this board can answer the same questions you have.  Right now I'm able to say, I'm praying for you and all on this board and wishing you well.

Kim

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2012

Travel Mom,

Thank you for being here and sharing your thoughts and feelings. As you have expressed we can be in control of how we respond to the cancer diagnosis. We can’t always control what the cancer does, or how effective the treatment is, but we can control our perspective and reaction. And you truly are my inspiration. I too want to focus on loving and living and celebrating every day. No matter what the prognosis. Sometimes IN SPITE OF the prognosis. 

May God Bless and keep you!

Sincere virtual ((HUGS)).

Phil

Mickeyclaude's picture
Mickeyclaude
Posts: 21
Joined: Dec 2017

i appreciiate your perspective. Thank you for spreading love and light to us

 

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 1098
Joined: Aug 2013

Funny how this primal battle illuminates all the meaningless crap in our lives. What matters gets distilled down to a tight band of things and people we love. There's a freedom that comes with those changes, and even now, after the fight has eased to watchful waiting, I have little desire to get retangled, my needs are few. I hope you catch a break here and get on top of this stuff, and spend a long while sharing your strength with others...................................Dave

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