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Hi, I'm new here. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

My mom has been in the hospital since late July. She had uterine cancer which was taken out in early August. She was in ICU for 4 1/2 weeks. Now, she's been back and forth beteween The Hospital and Rehab. Now, to make a long story short, my mom isn't in good shape. They said she's probably going to die. Here's my problem/questions. She has blood clot in her legs and lungs and her kidneys are failing and the cancer is back and spreading. Do you think there is ANY CHANCE my mother can survive? I did hear maybe going for chemotherapy but I have a feeling if she does that it will kill her. But can it work? Is there a flicker or gliimmer of hope that she can at least pull through? Or should I  just accept The Doctors prognosis and accept she's going to die?

 

Please help. 

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1564
Joined: Jun 2015

Jack, So sorry to hear about your Mom. Your questions are not easy to answer. We are not doctors and our comments on this board are based mostly on our own experiences. Your Mom sounds like she is in really bad health and that she may not be strong enough to go through the chemo. I can tell you, it isn't easy on our bodies. I hope you have a good rapport with her doctors and can ask them to help guide you. There is always hope. And, I believe her doctors will provide you the best options for her.

Your Mom is lucky to have you by her side. I'm sure she feels better just knowing you are there to support her.

Take care and please come back with questions or let us know how she is doing.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

Thank You Cindi for answering and I'm glad your ok. 

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2609
Joined: Mar 2013

Dear Jack, I am so sorry to hear about your mom.  She really has a lot going on and that is never easy.  I think Cindi hit it all on the head and I agree she is so lucky to have such a loving and caring son.  

It is hard to watch the ones we love suffer but I am sure she loves having you with her.  

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

Thank you. We are going to see The Doctors on Monday to see our available options.  I hope she is strong enough for chemo or even dialysis.

Northwoodsgirl
Posts: 559
Joined: Oct 2009

Jack, You are a brave and strong son. Your Mom and her doctors, nurses and other medical professionals are doing everything they can to help your Mom out of this crisis.  Treatments and protocols for cancer have a lot is standardization to it and sometimes there are variations to the treatments based on the individual‘s co-existing conditions that make treatment difficult. This is likely the case for your Mom.  Many of us on this discussion board will keep your Mom and you in our prayers.  Hope is something you share with your Mom. Please take care of yourself so you can be there for your Mom.  I am glad you found this discussion board. Please check in again to let us know how you and your Mom are doing. 

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

That's very nice of you even though I just joined the board today. I thank you for keeping my mom in your prayers.

dgrdalton's picture
dgrdalton
Posts: 73
Joined: Jun 2017

So sorry for what you and your mom are going through. Prayers for you both. 

Avidreader
Posts: 4
Joined: Dec 2017

Hi Jack, I'm sorry for what you and your mom are going through. And I understand it as that is the battle I am waging. I have recurrent uterine cancer and have been on chemotherapy since April. My doctor calls it "recurrent." The paliative care team calls it "terminal." So, I hope and pray for the best outcome, a total healing, and enjoy friends and family. In the meantime I try to consider and do the things that will make it easier for my family if I die in the next few months. But basically we are all in denial and cannot consider that while I look fine, I could be dying. It's such a paradox. If your mother can still make decisions for herself, ask her how to handle things. What is important to her now, if these are her final days/months/year? Be positive. Miracles happen.

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

My mom passed away this past Sunday. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you as it's been crazy. Ironically, at 2:20pm in room 220. She was at Hospice for 4 days before she died. It was pretty sad to your mom not know where she is and can't even talk. I'm not even that sad as I've been preparing for this for about 10 days. She didn't suffer which was a good thing as she's suffered enough. She was at peace.

 

Avidreader, I felt the same way. On December 7, I found out she was going to die and ever since then I've been in a fog. Also, Avidreader, I send you tons of strength and prayers and positive thoughts your way.Smile

ckdgedmom's picture
ckdgedmom
Posts: 166
Joined: Oct 2017

So very very sorry for your loss...very hard to lose your mom and most especially at this time of year...

Glad she didn't suffer at the end and is now at peace and without pain...

prayers for you and your family

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2609
Joined: Mar 2013

Jack, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom.  

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

Thank You.

CheeseQueen57's picture
CheeseQueen57
Posts: 820
Joined: Feb 2016

So sorry for the loss of your mother, especially this time of year. May God wrap his arms around you. 

ConnieSW's picture
ConnieSW
Posts: 1456
Joined: Jun 2012

Thank you for letting us know. I've been wondering about you both.  Take care. 

evolo58
Posts: 293
Joined: Dec 2017

I am so, so sorry to read of your loss.

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1564
Joined: Jun 2015

Jack, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I hope you can find peace and comfort knowing that you brought her strength and love when she needed it. She is pain free now. May she rest in peace. Thank you for coming back and letting us know.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

Soup52's picture
Soup52
Posts: 902
Joined: Jan 2016

Prayers to you Jack. I’m so sorry about your mom’s passing.

dgrdalton's picture
dgrdalton
Posts: 73
Joined: Jun 2017

Jack, so sorry you lost your mom. Prayers for you and family.

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

Thank You Everyone. The thing is that I'm not even sad because I have NO REGRETS. We were there for her for 5 months in The Hospital. Plus, not to mention, the 5 Years I helped take care of her. I was stretched everyway possible. I feel good because like I said I have NO REGRETS. If I did, I'd be more upset but I'm glad I did it. I just can't wait for The Holidays to end.

Northwoodsgirl
Posts: 559
Joined: Oct 2009

Jack, I am very sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. I am glad to hear that you are at peace with all that you have done for your beloved Mom. I remember when my Mom lost her battle with uterine cancer my Dad and I used to have to remind ourselves not to play the “I wish I would have -could have-should have...”. We all do the best we can as caregivers and so much is out of our hands. You have been through so much caring for and helping your Mom. Please take care of yourself and just know that it takes time to go through grieving and be kind and patient with yourself. You are a good son ....your Mom lives on in your heart ....❤️ and the hearts of many others . 

 

DKK
Posts: 8
Joined: Oct 2017

my Dad died of prostate cancer on Chrstmas Eve 2005....,

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

Oh, man, that's terrible.

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2609
Joined: Mar 2013

Jack, I understand your NO REGRETS.  That is wonderful.  

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

Let see. I have no job(applied for a few, but nothing now), I have no Girlfriend, I have no money, I might lose my house, I lost my mom, I have no skills, no experience, LImited education, No Driver's License(as I never had the money to get the lessons), I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day by myself as I thought I had plans with my father but I called him and he never called me back(I would've gone with my Uncle but it was too late to call him and go back and forth) and I'm alone for NYE. I don't to do anything tonight anyway.

Happy New Year Everybody!!!

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2609
Joined: Mar 2013

Jack, a few years back when I was in recruiting I recommended that we hire a woman because she had left her job to take care of her sister who had breast cancer.  When that woman retired a few years ago she announced to everyone that I hired her.  I told her I wanted a person who would help her family and that is the type of company I thought we were.  Being there has a value that can't be measured in dollars.

I do hope 2018 can bring you some good things.  

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

I hope so too. Just it's very upsetting. 

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

I've applied to about 10 jobs. CVS, Big Y, Boston Market, Bookkeeper, but have heard nothing yet. I don't think I'm qualified.

Northwoodsgirl
Posts: 559
Joined: Oct 2009

You might want to go to a nearby state unemployment center and get some free help with resume, job search, interview skills , networking and/ or skills development. Just google search your state and workforce center and the website will pop up. 

evolo58
Posts: 293
Joined: Dec 2017

My son has had to look at several retail jobs before getting one. It's not helping that January is an off month for retail. Many companies are in inventory mode right now and not actively hiring until that's done. 

Do realize that most retail jobs are part-time, and you might not get benefits until you get into a full-time position. The latter is not impossible ... my son just got into one and BOY are the benefits so much better than when he had to go through ACA (even though he made such a low salary, he was not eligible for any subsidies, and most of his pitiful paycheck went just to pay the medical coverage).

If it's some sort of government job, a lot of budgets aren't in place yet. Unlike the old days, companies often won't hire until the budgets are approved and everything is sorted out.

Hopefully, you can find something soon.

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

So, listen to this. I'm going to give you an update on what's been going on. Please click on my blog because I go into great detail about it. 

 

http://superbhowlgreatness.blogspot.com/2018/02/the-name-of-this-blog-says-it-all.html

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 2609
Joined: Mar 2013

Jack, I read your blog and see that you have had it for quite a few years.  I think it good to vent and get it out.  I will be praying for you.

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

Thank you for reading my blog. It's just so damn frustrating. 

ConnieSW's picture
ConnieSW
Posts: 1456
Joined: Jun 2012

I hope you can begin to turn things around for yourself. Keep your chin up. 

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

Thank You Connie

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

Now, my mom was on Medicaid. I wasn't on Medicaid but is there anyway I can contact Medicaid and would they pay me because I was a caregiver for her?

MugsBugs
Posts: 110
Joined: Jan 2018

Jack I read your blog and I am truly sorry about your mom.  She was lucky having such a devoted son.  Being a caregiver is not an easy job.  My parents were in need of a little help while I am going through my own cancer scare and can’t help as much as I was before.  I found a lady who my parents love from care.com.  It might be worthwhile to look into this website.  My niece also did ad hoc pet sitting using rover,com (don’t know how you feel about pets). She loves animals.

Good Luck to you and I pray you are able to find fulfillment!

Jack Catalano
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2017

What is care.com? Btw, I hope you and your family are doing better.

MugsBugs
Posts: 110
Joined: Jan 2018

Care.com is where you can post your resume and little bit about yourself what your qualifications and strengths are.  People looking for care givers can go there and find someone that fits their specific needs.  Check it out - it may be something that may be useful for you.

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