Just found out I have cancer

I was in your shoes last year and was so afraid.  Between the consults and tests it seemed like an eternity.  The doctor who did the colonoscopy also told me he was sure it was cancer.  That was October 10 and I didn't have surgery until December 1.  But l learned that this type of cancer is usually slow growing so I had time to get things in order.  By the time I had surgery I just wanted it over.  You will likely have a CAT, maybe MRI.  And you will know more about your situation before you have surgery.  

As far as work goes, I told my manager and then sent out an email to my coworkers.  I didn't want to have to repeat my situation over and over.  The support was amazing.  

The surgery went amazingly well as.  I was actually planning my funeral at on point I was so afraid.  I was discharged on the second post op day.  No colostomy.  I had stage 2a and chose not to have chemo.  I will follow up annually and that is scheduled for January.  I'm in MN and went to the U of M.  Thought they were just excellent.  Also consulted with the Mayo Clinic .  Prays for peace and a good prognosis and speedy recovery for you.  There are a lot of people on this forum to support you.  

Sorry you are here, but it is a great place to be.  First thing it try to pause for a second and breathe.  You are young and that helps. 

Not sure where you live, but it is always a good idea to go for a second opinion if possible.  (You may wait until you get the news.)  Put your questions and concerns together.  Ask ANYTHING that pops into your head.  Get comfortable.  (I am going for a remote second opinion at Mass General right now, Cleveland Clinic and Dana Farber also have these available, as do some others.  MD Anderson will do it also.  They are a bit more complicated.  And in some cases you need to fly down for 3-5 days.  But to put your mind at ease, could be worth it.)  Mass General is $850 for remote second opinion.  It takes about two weeks to get a second opinion.  (Mass is Top 15 cancer hospital, #11, in rankings.  MD Anderson is #1, MSK is #2, Dana Farber is 3 or 4 I think.)  Heck, start it now.  (Not sure where you are located)

Do NOT get caught up in stats and prognosis.  They are based on stats which include older people who cannot have treatment when cancer is discovered and many other things which do not apply to you.  Also the stats are based on data that is usually five years old.

Do NOT get caught up in too much Dr. Google.  There is a ton of snake oil out there preying on fears.  Try to avoid it or believe it.  (I am actually pursuing some alternative treatments now, long story, but it is not some of the total BS being fed out there.  We can discuss this more.)

Before my diagnosis the thought of cancer and chemotherapy was the heinous monster under the bed which chilled my blood frozen.  Once you are in it, it is not as bad as the imagination (at least for me.)  

I had no symptoms, found by accident about three years ago.  Had surgery, chemo, met to lung (which was there from beginning), surgery for that.  (Due to a rare met, I am back in the game as as of a few weeks ago, but MANY here have had success, even with advance cancers.  Stage IVB types.)

Try to exercise and eat well to get in shape, the better shape you are in, the better you can deal with whatever is coming up.  I prepped for my lung surgery by walking and running, check in to check out was under 36 hours, including the surgery to remove a chunk of my lung.  It was easy (for the most part.)  Was walking three miles a day two days later.

Again, try to breathe and take care of yourself.  

Again, sorry to see you here for obvious reasons, but welcome.

I was there back this past June. I had Oncology and Radiation consults within a week and it took another two weeks to get second opinions at Dana Farber Cancer Institute. It's best to move as fast as you can even though it may not seem like it's fast enough. The scans will either confirm or rule out spread and they should be able to have a clue about regional lymph nodes.  I could tell you to relax and not be anxious but I know how I felt and it's hard to relax and not be anxious. I did find that exercise helped in many ways.

My approach to telling others is that I told close family and relatives, my manager, and very close friends. I revealed it to other coworkers later on. One coworker had cancer a year before mine so I chatted with him as well. The forums have been a source of great help and comfort because there are so many that have gone before me and many that were going through the same process, some a week or two ahead of me and some behind and you learn what's coming from those ahead of you.

and counting high at that. I'd say at least 20. 

I was diagnosed exactly five years ago this week.  Because of an almost complete blockage, I had my surgery within two weeks. Oh, it was a long two weeks. Filling my head with all of the horrors that a Cancer diagnosis brings. I'm going to die! I'm going to have chemo! I'm going to lose my hair! I'm going to die! Oh yeah, the 'I'm going to die' part came up over and over again, until I thought my head was going to explode (and I mean, I literally thought my head was going to explode). 

Because of the blockage, there was no time to do any research into a surgeon. I live in rual Nevada; the big city (hospital and Oncologists) 600 miles round trip. So, off I went for surgery. Successful, yes. Thank you Mr. Surgeon. 

Then it was back to the big city for many appointments. Oncologist - assigned to me by my PCP. Radiatoin Oncologist - assigned to me by my Oncologist. Another surgery to place a port - God bless that port. If you're offered one, GET IT. 

Then there was chemo. Six months of it. Then there was Radiationa and 24/7 chemo. Six weeks of it. Then there was CT scans. Then there was Liver met. Then there was surgery. Then there was THREE YEARS SEVEN MONTHS NED - No Evidence of Disease - Those beautiful words. 

Now I wait for my next Oncology visit on the 27th, and expect to hear those beautiful words 'you have no evidence of disease', again. 

So yeah. Rough journey ahead. Whats that road sign 'BUMPY ROAD AHEAD'  

Those first few weeks though, my oh my, they are tough. All the dark thoughts flooding in. Terrible time! But, as soon as you get started on scans, surgery, treatment, you start to feel more in control - for the most part - Doing something about it, ireally helps put it into perspective. 

Being here on the forum, meeting these wonderful people, some are in the fight, some are surviving, some have loved ones fighting, and some loved ones pop back in now and again to share their thougts. You have it all, right here.  You will find someone at each point of the journey who can relate, and help you though. 

Take the time to feel the pain, the shock of this diagnosis. You life is about to change, but your life is definitely NOT over. Stats are old. Out of date. We have come a long way these past ten years. Many, many Stage IV survivors, and I am one of them. 

Chin up. Onward and upward, new friend. You will do well. 

Tru

Sorry that you have to join this forum but this is a great place to come to. We have many wonderful and caring people here that will give advice and support. Some are patients (like me), some are caregivers and some are survivors. 

Colon cancer is treatable and even curable. You will have to go through some blood tests, Ct scans and MRI before the suregery. Then followed by adjuvant chemotherapy. 

Being scared is normal. When my GI doctor first told me that I have a tumor in my colon and it didn't look good. I was stunned and I was already planning my funeral in my head. That was back in July. Since I had surgery and I'm currently half way done with my chemo.

Don't read up the WebMD. I almost gave myself a heart attack reading it right after my tumor was discovered. I know it's easier said than done but worry will only stress yourself more. I know waiting is the worse. Keep yourself busy at mean time. You will beat this! 

I only let few of my close coworkers know. Eventually everyone noticed I was missing and curious and wanted to know what happened to me. They texted and FB messaged me. After my surgery I posted on my FB. By that time it didn't bother me for everyone to know. 

    I recall all too well the day I found out,  June 19. I was a complete mess, still am to some degree but a little more polished and composed. Your about to go through a lot of life changing events.  There is no way around it but keep in mind that what ever you do.  DO AS THE DOCTORS TELL YOU!   Most of them have a lot of experience, training, etc, and know exactly how to handle this.  We don't.  No matter how much reading you do you'll never catch up on 10 years+ of education and training.  If you're given an option take the one that results in more treatment, not less.  The better you are at that the better you'll finish.

  I'm sure you've read survivor stats.  We all did at first. Here are some facts they don't disclose that skew them.  After talking to the medical staff I've learned a few things. A good portion of the people who don't survive don't because they did not keep all their appointments, did not take all their pills, or wandered off thinking some ancient chinese herb or some other unproven nonsense is going to cure them.  Two examples.  While I was going to radiation I was told a lot of people quit before they're done.  Another is while waiting to pick up a load of chemo pills I saw a short clip on the TV in the waiting room that said only about 20% of the prescriptions issued are taken as prescribed.  Also, a number of those survivor stats are based on older people (70+) getting this from 20 years back. Not to seem morbid but some of them were going to die within the 5 or 10 years anyhow plus what we have now in procedures is a lot better.   At 40, even if it's stage 4 you'll make it through just fine.  Age and physical make up matters a lot. 

  Dealing with others whether it be wives, husbands, relatives, co-workers etc, keep this in mind.  They do not have cancer, you do. That was a mistake I made expecting a certain level of compassion  That's impossible and until a person has this there is no comparison to something else.  You'll get mad, sad, and all sorts of other things.  I've got a garage door and dryer with big dents so a little anger is perfectly fine and normal. 

  Time will be your enemy for the moment.  It's also ok to push for sooner appointments.  Be dramatic if need be on the phone. It worked for me in the beginning to get some of the tests done quicky.  Depending on several factors you could have an ultrasound, PET scan, CT scan, MRI, or others.  Purpose is to get the treatment ball rolling as soon as possible. 

  The treatments can start with surgery or could be radiation and chemo prior to surgery.  It will depend on where the tumour is and of course its size and so forth.  In case you're wondering, if yours is up as high as you indicated you won't end up with a bag.  That's also everyone's big fear.  I had chemo and radiation at the same time up until Sept 11.  I then had surgery which was just 2 weeks ago.  Side affects from any of that can vary wildely from person to person.  Some of them will sneak up on you without you realizing so it's a good idea to have someone monitor your drinking/eating habits.  I lost my sense off thirst and hunger plus the added bonus of getting forgetful as someone with dimensia.  I'm not convinced it's tied to the chemo entirely since a good portion of your thoughts are going to be one thing, I've got cancer. It's inescapable and will cloud your judgment and just about everything else for a while until you've got solid answers and know the course of action.  If you've got a hobby or some activity try to put as much time to it as you can.  It's not perfect but you'll find it can distract you from this for a while.

  I'm now waiting to start the post surgery chemo and ran head on into a disagreement between the surgeon and oncologist.  The surgeon said there was no lymph node involvement and it didn't appear there ever was.  The oncologist said he didn't buy that since the chemo/radiation I had prior to surgery MIGHT have masked it.  He said it was exceedingly rare to have a tumour the size I did and it not be invasive.  He wanted to give me the standard stage 3 follow up.  The purpose of which is to ensure the next PET scan doesn't show it's moved to greener pastures.  I told him I know enough to know I don't know so what ever he suggests I'll go along with. For the next four to six months I'll be a little miserable again but in the long run there won't be any regrets.  My comfort is knowing I've done what I'm supposed to.   

I am sorry that you have to be here but you have come to the right place.  My husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer Dec 13, 2016...almost a year now.  Seems like a blurr. This board has been invaluable to me for questions, information, and support.  

I cannot even begin to put into words the roller coaster of emotions, etc that we went through.  Just know that what ever you are feeling is okay, this is tough road!

My husband was just diagnosed in September.  I know what it feels like to just be hit with all of this out of the blue!  I'm still learning myself about this, but wanted to wish you well and hope that you get answers quickly!! 

That was quick and a good result considering the situation.  Once they do the surgery you'll follow that up with chemo afterwards in a few weeks or so.

I know how you must feel.

Keep it up, you'll do just fine.

Peace

Can very much understand your issues and concern.  It's great news that it has not spread.  It sounds like you have a team in place and they are already planning the treatment and surgery for you.  If surgery is in a week your head has to be reeling and now it's going to be a roller coaster for one appointment, surgery, tests, treatments and more tests for quit some time.  Just try to take a breath while going though this, come on this board and let us know how and what is happening, and get support from us.  We are your new extended family for months on out so get used to us - we are here to help.  You will get a lot of knowledge and support here.  Wishing you the best with all coming up.

Kim

Welcome to the forum

AS I mention in reply to your other post, we would love to see you post a new thread on the forum home page. That way we can welcome you here, and answer reply to you specifically.

Here is the link:  https://csn.cancer.org/forum/128

I had terribly insomnia during chemo (slept surprisingly well during radiation/chemo) and found that a guided meditation CD helped me no-end. 

Looking forward to getting to know you. 

Tru

If you think of it that way, then most likely it will be suffering ahead of you.  Please try to forget that you'll suffer, or you're hopeless, or you'll be sick.  Try to think that you only have trials, as everyone does.  It only comes in different forms.  Ours is cancer, others have other illnesses, or have been wronged by a crime, or by circumstances beyond their control.  What I'm saying is all of us do suffer and have problems.  What we have to do is to try to rise above these problems.  Always think that we are much stronger than these challenges, and that we will come out of it triumphant.

If you ever need someone to talk to, you have my ears.  You can message me anytime.  Its not always dark days ahead.  

That's good that there is no distant mets.  Hopefully the HIPEC will help.  There have been people on this board that have had this, and I'm hoping that some of them will chime in to help you with this.  You're not having faith is a personal choice, although I've had faith all my life, that is something that you choose.  Don't feel bad about not having it and thinking you should have it.  Make things right with you and your family during this time.  It's time for you to have a good plan with your doctors too and make sure you are comfortable with the treatment going forward.  You are not alone here.  We are all here supporting you.  Wishing you the best.

Kim

Sorry about your diagnosis that brought you here but you're in a good place here. Our oncologists are trained in what to do yo help us live but they are not necessarily familiar with what it's like to actually live with cancer on a day to day basis. I know with my onc she has a very limited amount of time to spend with me and hasn't the time to get into all the little specifics so I assume it's the same with everyone else. On this forum you can ask about things that are odd or seem questionable about living with it and someone will have an answer.

I understand how you feel unreal about it. I still don't feel like a person with cancer and I was diagnosed just over 4 years ago. I can't remember if I posted about this before- I think I did- but I was getting an IV last month for another issue I have unrelated to the cancer and I heard the nurse at the nurse's station telling the doctor that the patient has stage four colon cancer and I thought to myself "oh, that poor woman" and then realized she was talking about me. 

I, too, had a huge tumour that was almost blocking me but they chose a different route to deal with it so I had chemo and radiation first and then the surgery. There are a number of different protocals and most of us were treated in a way unique to us and our situation. That being said, there are a limited number of chemos that will work and so someone will have been on whatever they choose for you. Make sure you come on here with any questions or concerns. It's reassuring to know what something will be like and how others reacted or dealt with it.

I wish I had found this forum sooner than I did. My husband was looking up info on colon cancer and getting very upset. I also looked it up and was disappointed in the lack of recent or pertinent information. I wasn't so much interested in numbers, I wanted to know what it's really like to have it from people who do. I found this forum and it's been very helpful.

Regarding your lack of faith, it's something I have struggled a bit with. I do have faith and it has helped me but there have been times during this where I've turned my back on it. I get over those feelings but having this and the things it has brought that have been in addition to the cancer but related to it have made me sometimes question my suffering and the reason for it. I get angry when I hear people talk about karma. Because of this I don't believe in it. I've never done anything horrible to anyone or anything. I'm a decent person with good morals. Yet I see some truly horrible people that are well and thriving and successful in their lives. If karma is a thing, why is that?

Anyway, take care of yourself and know that you can live with cancer. Even if they don't get rid of it completely you should be able to live a long time with it and just treat it. My oncologist said it's like having diabetes, you can't cure it but you can maintain it. 

Jan