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Worried newbie

Mwikoff46
Posts: 40
Joined: Nov 2017

I worried and feeling hopeless ...I have the bloating crampy lower back symptoms and this morning blood in stool....ER visit this morning and bloodwork is ok and CT show nothing but I  know  that doesn't show colon cancer. With my history and symptoms I know I have colon cancer . my appt with colonoscopy isn't until 16th but I don't I can or should wait that long. I'm feeling so alone and scared.

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4851
Joined: Jan 2013

Even if the colonoscopy leads to your worst fears, waiting until the 16th will not affect the Cancer, just your state of mind. 

Try to fill your days with fun activities, family, freinds, food whatever it takes to keep your mind from the what ifs. 

We've all been where you are, and of course, we know that it isn't going to be easy, the wait that is. 

I hope you find all is well, and never have to visit our little forum again. 

Tru

Mwikoff46
Posts: 40
Joined: Nov 2017

Thank you so much for the response ...unfortunately with my history and my symptoms I'm.fearing and preparing for the worst...I feel like its stealing my joy and I can't even get out of bed. 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4851
Joined: Jan 2013

Prepare for the worst while hoping for the best. Actually Hope for the best, while preparing for the worst. 

There is no way anyone can NOT worry, but you can worry too much, and that will bring you down and sap your energy, at a time when you REALLY need to be positive and energetic. 

So, lets say it is true and your worst fears are confirmed. Then what? Is it the end of the world? It feels like it at first for sure. It hits you like a a fist in the gut and that is normal. You allow yourself the pain, the anguish, the 'why oh whys' BUT THEN you turn that into acceptance and motivation.  

This diesease is sink or swim. I personally know two people who have sunk. They were not able to get a grip on the positive and they sat back and died. Be a swimmer. There are so many folks here on the forum, swimming forward, sometimes against the waves, but soldiering on. 

Again, I do hope that you get good news and I can say 'it was good to know you, now off away from this forum'  But, the forum is here for you until that day. 

Tru

darcher's picture
darcher
Posts: 257
Joined: Jun 2017

I won't tell you not to worry because you will.  Who doesn't?  My intro was back in june and it was bloody and of course scary.  This is a frightening disease to have and kind of gross at times along with several embarassing moments.   I've had more than I care to remember.  In the hospital right now and just got the thing cut out of me.  What I would advise doing is  do something.  Even if it's that list of chores you've put off for months, do that.  Anything that can take your mind off of this.  More than likely it won't be as bad you are probably imagining.  The depression you can experience is worse than anything the disease puts out so it's best to keep your mind occupied with other things.   Don't count on anyone too much.  You'll probably be dissapointed.  This illness is mostly yours to tackle.  You will as long as you follow the doctors instructions to the letter.

Mwikoff46
Posts: 40
Joined: Nov 2017

Thank you so much for answering ..I have enjoyed reading your post and happy your on way to recovery, I'm at the point I just want to know and start my journey...like you if something I want it out...I guess I feel alone I'm single and frustrated because I just wanted them to do something at ER right then. Now another night of worry....can I ask did you have any other discomfort other than the toilet ?... 

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 996
Joined: Aug 2013

Welcome to the blog, alone and scared is how we all started, when the doctor says it's cancer, the shock it gives you sets you apart from the rest of the world, even with loved ones holding tight. With time, you acclimate somewhat, but those first months are rough. I worked and walked alot, the outdoors are especially beautiful and poignant when you feel it may all be taken away. Staying in bed made it worse for me, but getting lost in a book or movie for awhile helped. Many chase calmness with meditation, mindfulness, or yoga, I turned some of my fear into anger, getting mad at life felt better then being scared, but it definitely makes you harder to live with. Find coping mechanisms that work for you, anti-anxiety meds can help in the worst moments, but only if used sparingly, as I found out. Reading the other stories here, those whose path is harder, can bring perspective and insight on how to cope, so read on and the best of luck, or as Tru says, we hope after the colonoscopy, you have no reason to be here.........................................................Dave

Mwikoff46
Posts: 40
Joined: Nov 2017

Thank you so much for answering ....I guess being in discomfort keeps reminding somethings wrong ...so all I am.doing is sleeping . I get frustrated that the ER wouldn't just do something other than bloodwork and CT . 

Kazenmax's picture
Kazenmax
Posts: 355
Joined: Feb 2016

do not let it take over your life. That's easy to do but you have to fight that feeling. I know when I started this whole process, I was very frustrated with the slow pace of treatment. It seemed to take forever to get the team of doctors to get the treatment plan together. Once I found out it was cancer, I wanted to move on it fast. That doesn't always happen. 

You have to be in the moment and in this life for the long haul... as frustrating as that is sometimes.

Hang in there. I'm hoping for the best outcome for you.

k

Mwikoff46
Posts: 40
Joined: Nov 2017

Thank you ...I called today to say I had been in ER with bloody BM and major discomfort and still would not move my colonoscopy up sooner...so discouraged 

Bunny822
Posts: 23
Joined: Nov 2017

Smile

Hello...let me say I just joined today and received my diagnosis on 09/11/17. Once confirmed testing, referrals, treatment options picked up the pace.I have just completed Round 3 of chemo and am adjusting to my new normal. The hardest thing is waiting and the unknown, but wish you all the best. I actually am less anxious now since I know what I am facing and am in active treatment for a cure. 

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