CSN Login
Members Online: 10

You are here

wow not again.

jdvann
Posts: 5
Joined: Oct 2017

I had what I was beleiving would be my last follow up vist did not go as expected.

I was diagnosed with renal cancer in 2013.

I had a partial nephrectomy on my left kidney.

I had a 4cm cancerous mass removed.

All of my scans have been clear up to now.

This would have been 5 years. I was not expecting the news that I have another complexe cyst about 4 cm in my left kidney.

I am trying to stay positive. My wife and I were planning for our retirement in 3 years.

I am an emotional wreck not even though it may not show. I am not ready to give up, however it is my body that is letting me down. I am not suffering physically. I am greatful for that.

I am feeling very depressed about he effect it is having on my wife. She is physcally ill because of this news and it is breaking my heart. I is bad enough that I am affected but her pain hurts the most. 

I am not one to give up easily. but at 59 I am getting tired of the struggle.

I am haveing a hard time keeping thing together. I hope that my scan in 4 weeks show thing are normal again. I however feel that the wont be ok.

Just blowing off steam here I hope it does not upset anyone. I knew going into this that recurrance was a possibility

 

hardo718's picture
hardo718
Posts: 853
Joined: Jan 2016

I'm so sorry.  It's 5 years for me too.  I'm not due for follow-up till mid 2018, so I am moving on with my celebration as if NED is still with me.  Yikes.

I wish you the best, I'll be praying for you and please keep us posted.

Donna~

Wehavenotimeatall
Posts: 479
Joined: Aug 2017

Cant imagine how much pain you are in.  I pray you and your beloved wife will get through this.  You still have options to explore that will result in curative end.

What test did you have for the four year mark

What did your original pathology say and  how much of the kidney did they remove

Annie

 

 

jdvann
Posts: 5
Joined: Oct 2017

At 4 years I had an Mri at 4.5 years I had ultra sounds. I have mltiple cysts so the keep a cloase Eye on it.

Originally I had a 4 cm mass that was cancerious and the removd the lower half of my left kidney,

I have a good physcian and he is very diligent. If the results prove poor then I will have the ( Great I get to keep working :( ; 

I have my MRI on friday. At might age it is just getting tresome fighting this battle, LIfe will go on! I am not a quiter. I am most assuridly a fighter.

 

jdvann
Posts: 5
Joined: Oct 2017

I will survive

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1322
Joined: Oct 2013

I am sorry you and your wife are going through this. But you did mention it was a cyst, correct?

Did you get the radiologist's report yet? And has your surgeon contacted you to come in ?

Otherwise, you have a cyst. If the report doesn't say suspicious for neoplasm, then I am not certain its more than a cyst. 

I know its hard to wait. But have you called your doctor's office to see if they have any concerns? and your doctor's office has not called you?Otherwise it still is NED.

We do get cysts from time to time. 

Although easier said than done, you need to distract yourself from the C word and concentrate on LIVING TODAY!

So, I am sending you calm, serene thoughts of HOPE ! Trust your doctor; he/she got you through this once before. 

Hugs, Jan

love_of_my_life
Posts: 77
Joined: Jul 2012

Stay positive and work this one day at a time.

Many people praying for you.

Shecka1121
Posts: 114
Joined: Apr 2015

I am sorry for your news as I know it is hard.  But the siliver lining is in the event it is a recurrenct or new growth, the stats are still heavily in your favor. I know it is devistating so I am not minimizing it, but it appears to be a cyst (and if cancer which it very well could not be) it is localized.  You may have to have anotehr surgery but the chances of you being NED for many years after that are still high. I know you may not feel this way but keep positive. You hare very young and I am sure you will have many years with your wife.

Read the stats on localized recurrence. It will make you feel better.

icemantoo's picture
icemantoo
Posts: 3242
Joined: Jan 2010

jdvann,

 

In my day there were no partials. I was also 59 then. I am 74 now. A neph. is enough.The spare should last at least another 20 or 25 years.

 

Icemantoo

Steve51
Posts: 23
Joined: Oct 2016

I was diagnosed March 2006. I had some issues over the years, but still doing the things I love. I'm 66 and not the same as 56, but I feel blessed. RCC treatments have come a long way. It's pretty normal being depressed sometimes, but you sound strong and it will get better. Stay focused on the things you enjoy and dream big. You can do this!

donna_lee's picture
donna_lee
Posts: 917
Joined: Feb 2009

as I found out in 2007 and 2008....after the original surgery in 2006.  The '07 & '08 surgeries were for single node lymphadenectomies that had been found to be enlarging between a mid-winter CT and a May CT.  Both were dx'd as positive, the '07 one by a fine needle biopsy and the '08 one by a PET scan.

DO not Give up!  The most recent edition of CURE, usually found in your Oncologists office and free to cancer patients or caregivers, has an article on new drugs and stereotactic radiation treatment.

I was 63 at first DX; now I'm 74, and I'll fight to the end of whatever to seek out palliative care (surgery or drugs or radiation.)

Perhaps you and your spouse should seek out a Cancer Support Group (physical-in the here and now).  Many are offered by Oncology offices, hospitals, or even Hospice groups.

Being a survivor and caregiver are difficult jobs for each of you.  Also consider consulting with your Internist or PC Doc.  Anti-depressants to get you thru this time of struggle may be beneficial for both of you.

Recently< i complained about my treatment at the Hospital.  But if you need to see my history with cancer, click on my user name.

Hugs and Caring thoughts to you and spouse,

donna_lee

jdvann
Posts: 5
Joined: Oct 2017

I go to the doctor Friday Nov 10 to find out the results.
As you may imagine it has been a long month.

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1965
Joined: Mar 2014

I'm keeing my fingers crossed for you that it's just exactly that: a cyst. Hang in there!

daisybud's picture
daisybud
Posts: 468
Joined: Jan 2016

Let us know

Wehavenotimeatall
Posts: 479
Joined: Aug 2017

am keeping everything crossed for you

Deep deep prayers

Bryn1108's picture
Bryn1108
Posts: 85
Joined: Jul 2017

Praying for you guys ....

AnnissaP's picture
AnnissaP
Posts: 631
Joined: Sep 2017

Wishing you all the best! Hoping for positive news!!!

kiwi68's picture
kiwi68
Posts: 110
Joined: Oct 2017

Anxiety is the worst, and no one wants to hear that there is something that the medical professional needs to take a close look at.  It would be so much better if all this 'work' could be done in one day.  Put us all out of our misery.   I see lots of people post about 'Scanticipation'.   I am going to have to discover my own method for dealing with that.   

Please take your wife and give her a hug. And if she needs to, talke some time to talk about her fears and put them in perspective, what the timeline is, what you are thinking then take the time to chat.    Is there something she wants to do about it that she isn't?    

One thing that helped me this month was to give myself a stern talking to.  I could sink into a pit of anxiety worrying about what at that present time I could not change, could not hurry up and could not do anything about. I decided that would just ruin my weekend, my week and my month, therefore I used my super powerful brain (maybe not) to consciously decide to just get on with what I was currently doing. I set msyelf a specific time to have a worry, fret, little handwringing party.   I had a quick little checklist with myself if I was living my best life (or at least one I wanted to live) and decided that yes, I was enjoying all my current activites (as ordinary as they are).      I know your wife is just really worried for you, that you will be unwell, that you will be in pain that llife will be disrupted again.  Illnesss unfortunately is a part of life and how we approach it mentally is a cosncious decision.   I also try to tell myself that the tumour was there yesterday and I was fine.   If I am not physically unwell, I need to keep living my life as normal as I possibly can, and then take proactive steps to the best outcome I can achieve. 

I truly believe that.  It won't mean I won't be sorry for myself sometimes or feel my pain any less or never be unhappy, or worry for my family. But I will try to limit it to when I can worry/think/do something about it.   Be forward facing. Set times to worry or investiage or follow up on your medical, then spend the rest of all your time living your best life, or in my case, my good life, just hanging out cooking, cleaning, walking the dog (sometimes), tidying up after kids  (sometimes) and waiting for a nephrectomy.

 In the mean time I hope you don't think this is corny, but my grandma always used to say to me 'worry is like a rocking chair, keeps you busy but takes you nowhere'.   

Subscribe to Comments for "wow not again."