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Watersprite3
Watersprite3 Member Posts: 31
in Colorectal Cancer #1

I have just joined, even though I have been through surgery and treatment.  I had six months of Folfox, which I tolerated fairly well, although Oxaliplatin was lowered for the 9th and 10th treatment and eliminated entirely for the last two.  I am left with a very slight amount of neuropathy in my toes, which doesn't really hold me back.  And I have permanent changes in my digestive system.

I had a tumor in my sigmoid which was discovered during a routine colonoscopy.  I will admit that I put it off for a number of years, but I finally had one at the age of 60 and the tumor was discovered.  I had the tumor and several inches of colon on either side of it removed along with 22 lymph nodes.  2 of the nodes had cancer cells so I was staged at Stage III and went into chemotherapy.  I finished that in September of 2016 - I have had scans twice since then which have been clear.  I see my oncologist regularly for follow up.

I am just still worried that something is there that the chemo didn't get.  I feel a little out of control, like I want to keep it from happening but knowing that I can't.  Is this a normal feeling?

 

 

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  • airborne72
    airborne72 Member Posts: 296 Member
    #2
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    Ahead of me...

    Watersprite3:

    You are several weeks/months ahead of me.  I had neoadjuvant treatment July/August and will undergo resection surgery in early October - then mop up chemo.  All I can tell you is to hang tough and know that you are not alone in this.

    Jim

  • Watersprite3
    Watersprite3 Member Posts: 31
    #3
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    Thank you, Jim.  I had my

    Thank you, Jim.  I had my resection surgery first and them my chemo, which was also mop up chemo.  I am a year away from my treatment but the whole thing is still on my mind.  I am learning to take this as my "new normal".  My employer was really good to me about the whole time when I was on chemo, and very helpful this last year when I still seemed to get tired easily.   Then this June I was laid off from my job and after going through trying to find a new job, I have simply decided to retire.  There are things I want to do like travel and I have this feeling that I shouldn't put off doing them.

     

    Eileen

  • airborne72
    airborne72 Member Posts: 296 Member
    #4
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    Watersprite3 said:

    Thank you, Jim.  I had my

    Thank you, Jim.  I had my resection surgery first and them my chemo, which was also mop up chemo.  I am a year away from my treatment but the whole thing is still on my mind.  I am learning to take this as my "new normal".  My employer was really good to me about the whole time when I was on chemo, and very helpful this last year when I still seemed to get tired easily.   Then this June I was laid off from my job and after going through trying to find a new job, I have simply decided to retire.  There are things I want to do like travel and I have this feeling that I shouldn't put off doing them.

     

    Eileen

    Eileen:

    Eileen:

    I totally understand the new normal mindset.  It has taken me a while to accept it, but I have.  No doubt the physical whammy from my pending surgery and the mop-up chemo will reinforce that approach to life.  I sort of had a head start on this new normal concept in 2009 when I had my cancerous prostate removed. Lots of immediate and long term negative effects resulted and forced me to change many aspects of my life.

    What you said about employment and a different outlook on life resonate with me.  Our priorities change when we are confronted with something as significant as colorectal cancer.  Things just don't mean the same anymore.  Perhaps we are now taking time to smell the roses?  Cancer sucks, but life doesn't.

    Jim

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,796 Member
    #5
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    Welcome to the forum family

    It is so totally normal to worry about the Cancer returning, because it is a possibility. 

    I don't think there are many, at least stage III and IV, who go about life without it being in the back of their minds at best, and a constant worry at worst. 

    I find that it gets better AND worse the further out from treatment you get.  I had clear scans for nine months after treatment, and then a spot on my liver sent me to Surgery. I was feeling real good at my three and six month scans, and then when the nine month scan showed the tumour, it hit me so hard, I was gutted.  Now, I am wary. I try not to think about it too much during the three months, but when its time for blood work and scans, well then I start to wonder 'What if it come back again'. 

    So yes, it is normal to worry and think about it allot. I think retiring sounds wondreful and you shuold just get out and live life to its fullest. 

    Again, welcome to the forum. We're always here for you.

    Tru

     

  • NewHere
    NewHere Member Posts: 1,427 Member
    #6
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    Yup Totally Normal

    I am pretty good about this all, but it is rare that it does not cross my mind often.  An ache, a pain and the reality I had 11 out of 20 nodes cancerous.   An ache here, a pain there, and subconciously it even hits as I start thinking/getting a bit more anxious and then realize "Oh yeah, next scan and bloodwork is coming up."

    What Tru said I find that it gets better AND worse the further out from treatment you get is something I started feeling more myself.  I am Stage IVB.  With a met that was removed.  Though I know stats are not 100% and that my age and general health are helpful (though I am not THAT young), there is a tick-tick-tick that I sometimes find myself focusing on a bit as the stats tell me there is a 90%+ chance of me not being here in a little over two years.  

  • Phoenix_66
    Phoenix_66 Member Posts: 118
    #7
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    Nervous

    Above all, keep your follow-up appointments with the oncologist.  My original colon cancer was found in 2006 with two of four lymph nodes affected.  After surgery and chemo I was ned for 7 years then it returned in my liver in 2013.  After another surgery and chemo I was ned for 4 years and it returned this year in a lymph node near my left lung.  I complete regular Folfox treatments this Friday and begin maintenance chemo every 3 weeks on Octobe 6th.  Each time it was caught through blood work done during a scheduled checkup.  Checkups are extremely important.  Like most cancer survivors, I think it is entirely normal to get jittery or nervous especially near checkup time or when it is time for another scan.

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #8
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    Welcome

    Welcome to the boards.  Sorry you have to be here but you have found a good place.  You've already been through a lot, but wondering if is always on one's mind after diagnosis.  I'm still reeling with the affects of possible scare again.  Just think it's normal with some people, but can roll of the backs of others.  Wishing you well in the future and keep coming back for questions.  We are always here to help you through ever aspect. 

    Kim

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    #9
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    I just assume I will be NED til the day I die.  It could come back, but worrying about it doesn't accomplish much.But I know that is easier said than done for many people.   Besides, I'm old enough that if it does, it will be cancer that kills me.  What ever does it-I can hardly wait!!!

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