my husband is doing so bad and just went to hospice

Cancer definitely isn't fair. 

You're not alone. So glad he has hospice caring for him. Hope you can get some rest. 

Cyber hugs and peaceful thoughts and prayers...

chasnrosa said:

He passed this morning

Unfortunately, he passed away this morning. I can't stop crying. Will this ever get better?  Its so bad. I HATE cancer. 

So sorry to hear he's passed away. He's certainly been through so much. So have you.

It will get better, but for now, you're right. Your tears, it's bad, cancer is miserable. 

Be very kind to yourself. Do you have friends and family to help?  We're here. Keep us updated as you're able. 

But yes, right now it's miserable. Hugs -- !

Know that lots of love and concern are being sent your way.  What a hard thing you are going through. Reach out on this website when you need to vent or ask questions.  People are here for you.  God be with you and your family.

I know how you feel. I wish I had words to make you heal but you have to go through the process. I'm really sorry. I know it hurts bad. Try to surround yourself with friends and family. Stay at a relatives house if you need to. Don't be afraid to talk about it.

chasnrosa said:

i know I'm not alone

It's weird because I know I'm not the only one who lost someone. There are people who lose their children and spouse. But it still hurts so bad. And what's even worse is that we are behind in bills and all my utilities are going to be cut off. So more stress. I really appreciate everyone who sends their condolences. It makes me stronger. I feel for everyone who loses someone. It's so horrible. I just need strength.  I send prayers and hugs and strength to all who are going through this. I hope in a few months I will be able to help someone who just lost a loved one. 

Chasnrosa - I lost my father on May13th from colon cancer. Anyone who has gone through this can attest - there are no words to soothe the heartbreak you are experiencing. I remember my dad, while struggling with pain, asking, "What did I do to deserve this?" It knocked the wind out of me, I struggled to muster, "Nothing...I don't think that's how this works." You're right - this isn't fair...

After he passed I too said, "I'm not the only one to lose a dad" trying to rationalize and almost apologize for my grief and a friend said to me, "Yeah, you're right - but this is the only dad you've ever lost." For some reason that clicked with me. It hurts - it hurts every single day - and we carry that hurt with us. We're allowed to be mad and sad or resentful when it seems so unfair that the rest of the world gets to move on and we still have this gaping wound that seems like it will never heal.

I echo what everyone else has written - you're not alone. I wish you peace and strength...