Worried sick

my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer last week Tuesday! He received 8 blood transfusions and numerous ct scans to see if it has spread! As of now it is contained to his left kidney in a15cm large tumour! We are awaiting surgery this Friday or early next week

to do an open kidney removal! His doctoe told us that the surgery is very dangerous due to the size of the tumour and they have to embolize his kidney first with a line through his leg! I am terrified to

lose him through this surgery! He is my everything and the father of our 3 children! I am new to this and just so so scared! What do I expect? 

 

«1

Comments

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,359 Member
    Lets get thru the surgery

    Wife,

     

    For now lets get thru the surgery. I did almost 15 years ago. Not fun, but after a few days each day will get better with maybe a bad day in between. Given the size of his tumor the doctors will weigh in after the pathology as to his course of treatment going forward. Sending good karma for an uneventful surgery and recovery and a good outlook down the road.

     

     

    Icemantoo

  • icemantoo said:

    Lets get thru the surgery

    Wife,

     

    For now lets get thru the surgery. I did almost 15 years ago. Not fun, but after a few days each day will get better with maybe a bad day in between. Given the size of his tumor the doctors will weigh in after the pathology as to his course of treatment going forward. Sending good karma for an uneventful surgery and recovery and a good outlook down the road.

     

     

    Icemantoo

    Thank you very much! My worst

    Thank you very much! My worst fear is the surgery and him not getting through the surgery right now! i am so overwhelmed with all of this!

  • BoondockSaint
    BoondockSaint Member Posts: 242
    One hurdle at a time girl...

    One hurdle at a time girl....one at a time. My wife had her surgery today and is actually still in recovery as I type this. 

    Our doctors do amazing things and they will be able to do the same thing for ya'll too.

    I know it's hard, all the waiting and "what if's". This is a great place full of wonderful people.

    Keep your head up and I will keep u guys in my prayers for a great outcome.

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    It is very scary sitting

    It is very scary sitting there waiting to hear that everything went well. The anticipation and the waiting is terrible. Have faith in his doctors and the surgical team that they will pull him through with no problems. I really feel for you but try to think optimistically. Easier said than done, I know, but do try. Take deep breaths and tell yourself that soon this will all be over and he'll be fine. Hugs!

  • Steve.Adam
    Steve.Adam Member Posts: 463
    Hi 'Wife of'

    Surgery teams are very good. Wishing you all the best.

    It certainly is overwhelming!

    Steve.

  • Wife of kidney cancer fighter
    edited March 2017 #7

    One hurdle at a time girl...

    One hurdle at a time girl....one at a time. My wife had her surgery today and is actually still in recovery as I type this. 

    Our doctors do amazing things and they will be able to do the same thing for ya'll too.

    I know it's hard, all the waiting and "what if's". This is a great place full of wonderful people.

    Keep your head up and I will keep u guys in my prayers for a great outcome.

    Thank you! I am praying for

    Thank you! I am praying for your wife as well! It is just very overwhelming 

    evelyn

  • APny said:

    It is very scary sitting

    It is very scary sitting there waiting to hear that everything went well. The anticipation and the waiting is terrible. Have faith in his doctors and the surgical team that they will pull him through with no problems. I really feel for you but try to think optimistically. Easier said than done, I know, but do try. Take deep breaths and tell yourself that soon this will all be over and he'll be fine. Hugs!

    Thank you so much! I am very

    Thank you so much! I am very optimistic and positive but really overwhelmed! i am very thankful for your word! 

  • Wife of kidney cancer fighter
    edited March 2017 #9

    Hi 'Wife of'

    Surgery teams are very good. Wishing you all the best.

    It certainly is overwhelming!

    Steve.

    Thank you so much Steve! It

    Thank you so much Steve! It is overwhelming and scary! 

    Evelyn

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    Aww, Evelyn, HUGS my dear!

    Aww, Evelyn, HUGS my dear! Glad you thought of coming here. WE understand, WE care about your hubby and about how you are doing too hon!

    My brother in law had a tumor that took over the entire kidney. Found accidently when he went to ER with pancretitis, so painful. That was 20 years ago!! He had no more cancer since and is doing fine with 1 kidney.

    Yet this is your husband, your experience. Hopefully you'll have someone with you during the surgery, do you? I will be with you in spirit! Time to use your faith, even if its not in the form of a religion, what do you believe in? (rhetorical, don't answer ok)

    Believe in the surgeons, the techs and nurses, anesthesiologisst. Believe in your hubby's spirit to get him through this. Believe in YOU, your strengths you'lll pull out and use in ways you never knew possible! You can and will  make it. Use your faith..use your faith~

    We're here for you and will walk this journey along side you (and him) all the way if you want us to, I mean.

    Sending you calm, serenity and peace of mind~

    Hugs, Jan

  • Deanie0916
    Deanie0916 Member Posts: 494 Member
    Dear wife

    I am so sorry your husband and your family are going through this. I had surgery to remove my left kidney at the end of August last year. My tumor was 20 cm. I am doing fine, ready for my 6 month checkup in a couple of weeks. Listen to the doctors, nurses and take all of the good advice you will get from the good folks here. Baby steps one step at a time. Prayers and hugs to you.

  • Jan4you said:

    Aww, Evelyn, HUGS my dear!

    Aww, Evelyn, HUGS my dear! Glad you thought of coming here. WE understand, WE care about your hubby and about how you are doing too hon!

    My brother in law had a tumor that took over the entire kidney. Found accidently when he went to ER with pancretitis, so painful. That was 20 years ago!! He had no more cancer since and is doing fine with 1 kidney.

    Yet this is your husband, your experience. Hopefully you'll have someone with you during the surgery, do you? I will be with you in spirit! Time to use your faith, even if its not in the form of a religion, what do you believe in? (rhetorical, don't answer ok)

    Believe in the surgeons, the techs and nurses, anesthesiologisst. Believe in your hubby's spirit to get him through this. Believe in YOU, your strengths you'lll pull out and use in ways you never knew possible! You can and will  make it. Use your faith..use your faith~

    We're here for you and will walk this journey along side you (and him) all the way if you want us to, I mean.

    Sending you calm, serenity and peace of mind~

    Hugs, Jan

    Thank you so very much! I am

    Thank you so very much! I am very glad I joined because this is the first positive feedback I had! i am not sure if someone will be with me during his surgery but I am hoping so! Many of our friends said they would but not sure yet! I am just so in total shock of the diagnosis still as he went in for a hernia! I am praying every day for strength and a good outcome! Thank you for your support and the time you gave me! ❤ Evelyn

  • Wife of kidney cancer fighter
    edited March 2017 #13

    Dear wife

    I am so sorry your husband and your family are going through this. I had surgery to remove my left kidney at the end of August last year. My tumor was 20 cm. I am doing fine, ready for my 6 month checkup in a couple of weeks. Listen to the doctors, nurses and take all of the good advice you will get from the good folks here. Baby steps one step at a time. Prayers and hugs to you.

    Thank you! I am so very glad

    Thank you! I am so very glad if went well for you and knowing other ppl that went through the same surgery is a positive look! I know doctors have to tell you all the negative things that could happen but it scared me more than I thought it would! Praying for your 6 months check up anddthat it is a perfect outcome! ❤ evelyn

  • angec
    angec Member Posts: 924
    Evelyn, it is very scary, but

    Evelyn, it is very scary, but your husband will come through fine.  You will not lose him in surgery.  Is the surgern a kidney specialist and does he have experience with this type of surgery? I think when the tumor is that size, it is better to do an open surgery, this way they get a look in there and can remove whatever they see.  It is great that it is contained.  He will be in a bit of pain for a few weeks and will need to take it easy, but he will do fine.  Please don't worry too much, many people on the boards here have been through it.  Once the surgery is done, you will feel better. You can do a search on the boards for kidney surgery and get some good advice.  Keep us posted.  The friends here are very comforting.  Also smartpatients.com is another great site to visit, they have alot of knowledge about meds and the new techonology and what have you.  Hugs!

  • Wife of kidney cancer fighter
    edited March 2017 #15
    angec said:

    Evelyn, it is very scary, but

    Evelyn, it is very scary, but your husband will come through fine.  You will not lose him in surgery.  Is the surgern a kidney specialist and does he have experience with this type of surgery? I think when the tumor is that size, it is better to do an open surgery, this way they get a look in there and can remove whatever they see.  It is great that it is contained.  He will be in a bit of pain for a few weeks and will need to take it easy, but he will do fine.  Please don't worry too much, many people on the boards here have been through it.  Once the surgery is done, you will feel better. You can do a search on the boards for kidney surgery and get some good advice.  Keep us posted.  The friends here are very comforting.  Also smartpatients.com is another great site to visit, they have alot of knowledge about meds and the new techonology and what have you.  Hugs!

    Thank you so much! we are

    Thank you so much! we are going to see the surgeon today! He is a urologist and specialized in this surgery! I read his reviews and most of them are great but some of them are bad! I guess we will see how he is meeting him! My husband is very eager to get the surgery done... to get back to living! So that is positive! I can't explain how much I appreciate all of you and the comfort I get! Xo

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 993 Member
    edited March 2017 #16
    Good luck with the surgery

    Good luck with the surgery and let us know how it goes. Nephrectomies are performed for a very long time already, so doctors are very well trained and prepared. Try not to think about it as of scary dangerous thing. Think of it as of procedure which will remove cancer and save your husband, be grateful and welcome it.

    I was impatient for my husband's surgery to come. Your husband will be fine!

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,023 Member
    Size, risks, etc.

    Size is not necessarily an indicator of problems.  Mine was 12.5x8.5x10.5, if I can remember that far back.  It was contained in the kidney, which was removed, although it had metastasized to the liver and nodes.  I'm still here nearly 11 years later.

    A friend, whom I met in the Cancer Survivors Support Group, had had a 5 cm tumor d'xd on her left kidney.  Five weeks later when surgery was done, it was the size of a 13# watermellon on the outside of her kidney.  Other than bowel adhesions that had to be removed, she's still out there 16 years later.

    If your "worrying" can help you think things through or come up with ways to help him or even questions to ask the Dr., then it can help.  If not, all it does is create stress on your body.  And that can make you sick.

    Hopefully, the surgery will be successful and uneventful. 

    All best wishes and Hugs.

    donna_lee

  • BoondockSaint
    BoondockSaint Member Posts: 242
    edited March 2017 #18
    Been thinking about you guys

    Been thinking about you guys today. Hope ya'll are doing well. The worry and angst of the unknown can be overwhelming.

    Deep breaths and a positive vibe is great medicine.

    big hugs.

     

  • Allochka said:

    Good luck with the surgery

    Good luck with the surgery and let us know how it goes. Nephrectomies are performed for a very long time already, so doctors are very well trained and prepared. Try not to think about it as of scary dangerous thing. Think of it as of procedure which will remove cancer and save your husband, be grateful and welcome it.

    I was impatient for my husband's surgery to come. Your husband will be fine!

    Thank you! I am just anxious

    Thank you! I am just anxious

  • Wife of kidney cancer fighter
    edited March 2017 #20
    donna_lee said:

    Size, risks, etc.

    Size is not necessarily an indicator of problems.  Mine was 12.5x8.5x10.5, if I can remember that far back.  It was contained in the kidney, which was removed, although it had metastasized to the liver and nodes.  I'm still here nearly 11 years later.

    A friend, whom I met in the Cancer Survivors Support Group, had had a 5 cm tumor d'xd on her left kidney.  Five weeks later when surgery was done, it was the size of a 13# watermellon on the outside of her kidney.  Other than bowel adhesions that had to be removed, she's still out there 16 years later.

    If your "worrying" can help you think things through or come up with ways to help him or even questions to ask the Dr., then it can help.  If not, all it does is create stress on your body.  And that can make you sick.

    Hopefully, the surgery will be successful and uneventful. 

    All best wishes and Hugs.

    donna_lee

    Thanl you!:) I will write an

    Thanl you!:) I will write an update on how our visit with the doc went yesterday in another thread

  • Wife of kidney cancer fighter
    edited March 2017 #21

    Been thinking about you guys

    Been thinking about you guys today. Hope ya'll are doing well. The worry and angst of the unknown can be overwhelming.

    Deep breaths and a positive vibe is great medicine.

    big hugs.

     

    :( such a bad visit with a

    :( such a bad visit with a new doc yesterday