Might be lying.

VaneJ1
VaneJ1 Member Posts: 1

 

Hello, thank you so much. Please read all! :( I have someone close to me who is really making me concerned. This might be a very long post. So, this person has had ovarian cancer for 2 years now. In the past 2 years there has been no difference in her state of being. It's someone who does not really get along with me although I still care for her. (Family) I had decided to cut her out of my life because she is toxic and emotionally abusive and enough is enough. But, then I started receiving texts along the lines of "Thanks to you I'll be stopping treatment. I hope you're happy you've ruined my life" etc. Or would only bring it up when we would argue. "going to treatment now, hope I die" so obviously this caused a lot of emotional strain on me. I decided to contact her again and say if she wants my help that I need to speak to her doctor. She has a very big history of lying. She said no. She said that nobody is allowed in the room with her and the doctors or nurses don't even talk to her or anyone. She wouldn't tell me a doctors name, cancer stage, hospital, clinic, how she got diagnosed, what specific treatment, what pills, nothing at all. NOBODY knows. Some family has started to cut her off because they think she's lying. So I did my research and educated myself and decided I'd go in person to see if she could tell me. She had 1 paper from 2014 saying she had a cyst and had surgery for it. To my knowledge, that is not cancer. There was not one paper regarding her cancer at all. She said she was doing "natural treatments" and was receiving injections in her head and hip. And she said she had her port for chemo in her hip/thigh. That did not make sense to me. Her story has COMPLETELY changed. She said she's only been receiving treatment  for January. 1 month. That means she waited 1 year and a half+ to get treated. She then said she only went to chemo appointments twice. Because I mentioned how she's been threatening me with her treatment for over 6 months but she only got treated for January. So that made no sense to me. Am I uneducated? Do they do "natural treatments" at these hospitals and inject your head and your hip and different places every time? There's been no weight loss, hair loss, sickness, tiredness. She actually has trouble SLEEPING. She says her treatment makes her not be able to sleep. She also said she leaves Friday's and comes back late saturdays but I can vouch that is not true as I used to live with her and had never seen her NOT there. She does not drive. I am so confused and stressed and her answers only gave me MORE confusion!! There were no papers about her cancer. I know this sounds terrible of me. Please offer insight on what you may know or experienced! 

Comments

  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    What?

    Vane,

    I am sorry you are having personal problems with your 'friend,' who you say you have written off.  It is obviously causing you a great amount of stress, although I'm not clear why that is, if you have, as you claim, written her off.  Perhaps someone else here will be more gracious and will answer your questions directly so that you can compare notes between a known ovarian cancer patient's experience with that of your former friend.  But I have to ask you this: do you really think it is appropriate for you to come to a cancer support page to try to disprove your former friend's claims of cancer?  Do you not think it is unfeeling  to ask a group of women who have been diagnosed with a horrible disease, had a very extensive surgery, and are going through or have gone through a long treatment riddled with side effects to share their experience and insights to prove to you that your former friend is lying to you, or to arm you with facts so that you can tell her that you know she is lying?  Your relationship with an abusive friend might be a big deal to you.  But please have some compassion for what others are going through. 

  • bettyboop3917
    bettyboop3917 Member Posts: 45
    edited March 2017 #3
    trust your gut

    I am not going to say any thing about if your friend has cancer or not. You know in your gut what to do and the truth. Just do what you know is the right thing for you.

  • gleestuff
    gleestuff Member Posts: 1
    liar

    I had stage IV cancer and a bit of survivor's guilt so when I met this sweet 24 year old with brain cancer I quickly befreinded her and talked to her constantly. I spent large portions of a vacation to spain crying my eyes out because she supposedly tried killing herself. She was very similar to your freind blaming others for everything. Like your friend she was very abusive.  She also did not have cancer.  Her cousin who I texted with regularly also didn't exist. 
    But when I walked away I didn't know any of that and I felt like hell. What if I was wrong? So I didn't tell any of our mutual freinds I just pissed her off enough one day that she screamed at me and I could feel better about walking away.  
    Regardless, even if she doesn't have cancer she is still clearly very sick in a very different way. Despite that there is no reason to let anyone treat you that way, being sick and scared is no free pass to be a manipulative ****.  Toxic is toxic. Putting up with that for two years is a huge comitment.
    The most important thing, no matter what is true, cancer no cancer, whatever. Everything you did was real

     

  • Lilee2k
    Lilee2k Member Posts: 2
    edited April 2017 #5
    Tethys41 said:

    What?

    Vane,

    I am sorry you are having personal problems with your 'friend,' who you say you have written off.  It is obviously causing you a great amount of stress, although I'm not clear why that is, if you have, as you claim, written her off.  Perhaps someone else here will be more gracious and will answer your questions directly so that you can compare notes between a known ovarian cancer patient's experience with that of your former friend.  But I have to ask you this: do you really think it is appropriate for you to come to a cancer support page to try to disprove your former friend's claims of cancer?  Do you not think it is unfeeling  to ask a group of women who have been diagnosed with a horrible disease, had a very extensive surgery, and are going through or have gone through a long treatment riddled with side effects to share their experience and insights to prove to you that your former friend is lying to you, or to arm you with facts so that you can tell her that you know she is lying?  Your relationship with an abusive friend might be a big deal to you.  But please have some compassion for what others are going through. 

    This is a perfect response. I

    This is a perfect response. I could not agree with you more.  Vane.....this is completely inappropriate and you should remove this post.  Also, this is a cancer survivor's network, if you are not a cancer survivor or a caregiver you shouldn't even be in this group.