I completed treatment today!

Hurray for Amy!
Congratulations, Amy! My wife is seven treatment days behind you! She has not wanted to read a lot about the details, and has been content to let me do her web surfing on the subject. But I have read every brave post of yours since she was diagnosed in early December, and you have been an inspiration to both of us (she WILL let me read positive stuff to her!). Our kids are now in their twenties, and we just could not imagine going through this with our kids as young as yours , the extra stress of caring for little ones would be hard, although they also must be a huge motivating factor, I'm sure. You are extremely strong, even if you don't feel that way! The doctors told us more or less what was coming, but it was very helpful hearing how you were doing. I have to say we were both worried at your "nine days left" post, but it let us know we should get ready for the bad part. But Missy is now two days past the nine days, and we can see daylight coming! Today was our first "coning down" treatment, after yesterday having a DRE (The doctor said the tumour was almost imperceptible at this point! That seemed super good based on the "typical experiences" that I've read about.) You got us past the nine day point, and although we aren't looking forward to the next seven, we've been waiting for you to "surface" after your treatment. Thank you again so much!

Pat

Congratulations!

Amy I was thinking about this being your last day earlier this afternoon! I knew you wouldn't "fall out". You did it! You should be proud. I think you are amazing for being able to post during this last part of treatment, I don't think I could have done that at the end of mine, it was all I could do to make it through! My first CT after treatment showed inflammation where the tumor had been and kind of read like it was still there. I had rectal exams by both my medical oncologist and radiation oncologist 3-4 weeks after treatment and they were positive it was gone, said it was just scar tissue and inflammation. They said the rectal exam is what is really important, at that point it is more important than CT. They were right, and next CT was fine. Also remember radiation and chemo can keep shrinking tumor for six months after you are done so even if there is a little left chances are it will completely disappear. so happy for you!

AmyD1310

Congratulations !  In my minds eye, I could see you ringing that bell loud and clear...so cheers to you for getting through very well  and with great grace under pressure.  I hope you will be able to get some rest for the next few weeks, lots of warm baths and whatever else helps youheal anad feel well.  

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

AmyD1310 said:

:-)

Thank you all for the kind words. Healing has already begun and I can't wait to feel "normal" again, or at least as close to it as I can. I do think therapy will help me and I hope others going through this have access to good mental health care options, because it is important.

Pat42: I am so sorry your wife is going through this too, but glad that you both have found this site, and some of my posts in particular, helpful. I did hit a wall when I had 9 days left, but I didn't "fall out" (MollyMaude), and your wife won't either! This is not easy, but we are all here for you/her as she finishes treatment. She will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please check back in and let us know how she is doing, especially once she has crossed that finish line!  

 

Love and hugs!

-Amy

Appreciate the kind thoughts!
I think sometimes people will write things they won't say, so your posts helped me empathize with what Missy must be feeling sometimes when she won't say it out loud. I had a bout with cancer myself when I was two years older than you are now (21 years ago in July), so I know the overpowering fear that can try to sink it's teeth into you. In twenty years you can forget a lot though, so what you wrote really helped ME anticipate what she was going to be feeling the next week, and get myself ready for it before she could start worrying that far ahead (since she wasn't wanting to read about it herself).
I only had three weeks of radiation with no chemo (same cancer type as Lance Armstrong) long ago, so it was WAY easier than what all you folks and Missy are going through. No severe burns. Everyone who's been through this brutal anal cancer treatment has proven they are incredibly strong to a degree that the vast number of people (including a lot of cancer patients) in this world will never learn about themselves. This whole treatment time is incredibly hard, but the things that hit me hard in a positive way were 1) the power of the human spirit. I can see it in my wife every day, and I can see how she tries to "power through" so I won't worry quite so much (I admit I'm a notorious worry wart!). 2) The skill and compassion of almost everyone in the health care chain we are working with. If you have a problem, ask someone, they've probably seen it before or know someone who has, and can make your journey a little easier than if you try to load it all on yourself. That someone may not be a doctor, it may be one of your "forebearers", like Martha, Katheryn, Molly, and the dozens of other amazing cancer warriors on this site who are doing what they can to help the rest of us win our fight.
I haven't fought the hard battle you've already won. But there's a similarity with what I went through 20 years ago. Anal cancer IS one of the more curable cancers. As several others have related about their experience on this forum (but maybe not in your threads), Missy's doctor said "This is not what's going to kill you." Matter of factly. I know there are many exceptions based on stage, but I think you are in a pretty good spot, from what you've said. It sounds like there's a long road to recovery yet to go to "normal", but it's achievable, and probably easy compared to this treatment phase. My youngest daughter was one year old when I went through my "bump in the road" 20 years ago. She was plenty of motivation for me to dig deep and not let the fear take hold, especially when the prognosis is so generally positive for anal cancer recovery.
Missy will have her last treatment next Monday, six days yet to go. Lots of Ensure between now and then, I'm afraid.

Pat

mp327 said:

Pat

Wow, I would love to be able to quote you exactly sometimes, as what you have said above is so very true.  People who haven't been through this themselves or witnessed a love one go through it can never truly understand how difficult it is.  I have tried to give them some idea of what this is like, but I've never been able to state it like you have.  I went through this brutal treatment back in 2008 and have had many conversations with relatives, friends and perfect strangers about it.  Sadly, I've had people make jokes about my type of cancer right to my face.  I would like to think those people would never had done that if they had seen me during that time--burned, hair gone in spots, weak, nauseous, and in a great deal of pain while I spent a good part of my day on the toilet.  I would want to know just what they think is funny about any of that.

This support group is a Godsend and how I wish I had found it when I was in treatment.  We all truly understand what this journey is like.  I thank you for mentioning me and the other cancer warriors who continue to come here to support others who are just starting out on this journey.  You are absolutely correct that there are just some things that the health care professionals don't know because they haven't been there.  Everyone here is very willing to share information and give support and I can assure you that we are here for you and Missy.  As she nears the end of her treatment, please know that both of you are in my thoughts and prayers.  She will get through this, she will!

Martha

Thanks to you Martha!
I've been a lurker for the last two months, mostly because I don't usually join forums, I just tend to read past posts for relevant information. In this case, I felt I owed a big thanks to you all (even though we still haven't made it through the treatment finish line!). When I think of everything I've read here, it seems like over half the time, Martha, you are the first one to post a reassuring response to someone who may be desperate for information. Like I said to Amy, can't thank you enough Martha! You helped me not to panic, and I know that helped me help Missy. I've told her about info on the site many times during this, but she seems to be content to let me relay it to her. She definitely identified with your "poop stories" tag line, though!
Haven't had the experience of the jokers yet, and I'm afraid I won't be very tolerant if I do. They will be ex-friends pretty quick, and I can't imagine any of our relatives being that way. We got swirled into this diagnosis and treatment so fast, I guess I haven't had time to understand why anyone would laugh or joke about it. What could be worse than a cancer that affected your ability to even go to the bathroom? If someone did that, I think I would say something like, "Friend, imagine you just had a routine colonoscopy as recommended by NIH guidelines. Then imagine that instead of being sent home by a smiling nurse, you get escorted by a serious nurse to an empty consulting room. Then imagine a few minutes later that the Dr who administered your test walks in, looking extremely serious, compared to the jovial person that she was before your test. She tells you that you have what appears to be a malignant cancer in your bowel system. Friend, do you think you would find that funny? Would you want people to tell you it was funny that you have cancer?"
I know that they say that over 80% of these cancers are HPV related, but there wasn't any indication of that in our case. But even if that were true, not sure why that would make it funny to anyone that would stop for ten seconds and think about how he would feel if his mom were diagnosed with it.
Anyway, I appreciate your strength in beating the disease, and your obvious dedication to helping others do the same!

Pat

Congratulations! I just

Congratulations! I just started last week. You are all an inspiration to me. So far I am just dealing with a little nausea. I have 3 kids age 13, 12 and 8. Dominique

Pat42 said:

Thanks to you Martha!
I've been a lurker for the last two months, mostly because I don't usually join forums, I just tend to read past posts for relevant information. In this case, I felt I owed a big thanks to you all (even though we still haven't made it through the treatment finish line!). When I think of everything I've read here, it seems like over half the time, Martha, you are the first one to post a reassuring response to someone who may be desperate for information. Like I said to Amy, can't thank you enough Martha! You helped me not to panic, and I know that helped me help Missy. I've told her about info on the site many times during this, but she seems to be content to let me relay it to her. She definitely identified with your "poop stories" tag line, though!
Haven't had the experience of the jokers yet, and I'm afraid I won't be very tolerant if I do. They will be ex-friends pretty quick, and I can't imagine any of our relatives being that way. We got swirled into this diagnosis and treatment so fast, I guess I haven't had time to understand why anyone would laugh or joke about it. What could be worse than a cancer that affected your ability to even go to the bathroom? If someone did that, I think I would say something like, "Friend, imagine you just had a routine colonoscopy as recommended by NIH guidelines. Then imagine that instead of being sent home by a smiling nurse, you get escorted by a serious nurse to an empty consulting room. Then imagine a few minutes later that the Dr who administered your test walks in, looking extremely serious, compared to the jovial person that she was before your test. She tells you that you have what appears to be a malignant cancer in your bowel system. Friend, do you think you would find that funny? Would you want people to tell you it was funny that you have cancer?"
I know that they say that over 80% of these cancers are HPV related, but there wasn't any indication of that in our case. But even if that were true, not sure why that would make it funny to anyone that would stop for ten seconds and think about how he would feel if his mom were diagnosed with it.
Anyway, I appreciate your strength in beating the disease, and your obvious dedication to helping others do the same!

Pat

Jokers

People handle situations differently.  It seems some joke out of being uncomfortable discussing this awful disease.  I have friends that have made joking comments when discussing anal cancer.  I do not think they mean no harm.  I personally do not take offense to my friends comments.  They do not understand the horrible treatment process to be cured of this awful disease.  I do not hold back what typee of cancer I had.  Once I explain what I went through to be cured they better understand how awful the treatment process was and no longer make jokes.  I think they just did not understand what anal cancer is and what the treatment process is and what permanent side effects of treatment can be. I have been free of anal  ancer since January 2009. 

Mike