Can You Overthink Things?

sandy23
sandy23 Member Posts: 143

I recently spoke with someone that had kidney cancer surgery a few years ago.  He was peeing blood and went to the ER.  The next day the urologist told him that this was bad. This is the same urologist that my husband has that is local, but not the one doing the surgery.  Anyway, his was large and had attached to his liver.  It was growing in (or on) his aorta and was almost to his heart.  They had to stop his heart during surgery.  He was cut from his chest to his groin and they even had to crack his sternum to get all of it. He has had no recurrence or any further issue with it.  He does get scans every 6 months though.

He said he never once googled, or looked anything up.  He doesn't even know the size, stage, grade, type, or anything!!  He said he just went on with his life as usual and doesn't think about it.  He did change his diet a little but still drinks coffee and occasionally eats junk food.

He knows 2 other local people who had kidney cancer also and have had no recurrence that don't worry about it.  The one man had his kidney removed one day, checked himself out of the hospital and went back to work the next day.  Yikes!!

How can people be so different?  I think about this constantly!!  At the very least, he is a good source of inspiration and I wanted to share his story with you guys.  

Comments

  • Steve.Adam
    Steve.Adam Member Posts: 463
    Illusion of Control?

    If he gets the scans and tries to stay healthy maybe there's not much else he can do. Good luck to them if they don't worry about it. Stress is bad for the health.

    When I go for my first set of post op scans I will find out how worried I am.

    Steve.

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760
    edited February 2017 #3
    Well, for starters...

    Well, for starters, you can over think anything, even walking to the other side of the house to get a postage stamp out of the desk drawer (Those of you who just read that and thought, "What?! People like Jerzy still MAIL things?!" have just proved that point). Also, denial isn't just a river in Egypt. It works really well for some folks as a coping mechanism. For a while, at least. 

    I have no idea if this is the case with the person you had the conversation with, but here's what came to my mind in reading about what he told you:

    The denial thing, definitely. 

    Also, fish stories (they get bigger and bigger with each retelling) and trudging to school in the winter stories (always six miles, through deep snow, uphill both ways).

    Possibly the guy who checked himself out of the hospital has some unfortunate event early in life that allowed him to fine tune the ability to dissociate when faced with painful events. Or maybe he's using artistic license. Guys hanging out, one upping each other's stories, rarely are "accurate historians" and certainly wouldn't admit to begging for pain meds or wanting to curl up in the fetal position. 

    Some of us have easier recoveries, some have more challenging ones. Some of us love drama, some of us love to tell a good story. The good news is, most of the horrible scenarios that we fear don't come to pass, not even close. Even better news? The many great stories of folks living with cancer, many of which can be read here.

    Jerzy

    PS One great way to take your mind off of this is to get yourself a puppy to housebreak, one that's also at the "you got it, I'll chew it up" stage. Whatever you do, keep us posted - ! 

  • sandy23
    sandy23 Member Posts: 143
    JerzyGrrl said:

    Well, for starters...

    Well, for starters, you can over think anything, even walking to the other side of the house to get a postage stamp out of the desk drawer (Those of you who just read that and thought, "What?! People like Jerzy still MAIL things?!" have just proved that point). Also, denial isn't just a river in Egypt. It works really well for some folks as a coping mechanism. For a while, at least. 

    I have no idea if this is the case with the person you had the conversation with, but here's what came to my mind in reading about what he told you:

    The denial thing, definitely. 

    Also, fish stories (they get bigger and bigger with each retelling) and trudging to school in the winter stories (always six miles, through deep snow, uphill both ways).

    Possibly the guy who checked himself out of the hospital has some unfortunate event early in life that allowed him to fine tune the ability to dissociate when faced with painful events. Or maybe he's using artistic license. Guys hanging out, one upping each other's stories, rarely are "accurate historians" and certainly wouldn't admit to begging for pain meds or wanting to curl up in the fetal position. 

    Some of us have easier recoveries, some have more challenging ones. Some of us love drama, some of us love to tell a good story. The good news is, most of the horrible scenarios that we fear don't come to pass, not even close. Even better news? The many great stories of folks living with cancer, many of which can be read here.

    Jerzy

    PS One great way to take your mind off of this is to get yourself a puppy to housebreak, one that's also at the "you got it, I'll chew it up" stage. Whatever you do, keep us posted - ! 

    You're not referring to that

    You're not referring to that adorable little guy in your photo, are you?  He doesn't look like he could ever chew anything up!!

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760
    edited February 2017 #5
    sandy23 said:

    You're not referring to that

    You're not referring to that adorable little guy in your photo, are you?  He doesn't look like he could ever chew anything up!!

    Nope, he's not the one

    Nope, he's not the one, far from it. He's still got all four of his stuffies that got him when we got him, the only dog we've ever had like that. One dog, from puppyhood on, thought that little dogs were given stuffed toys because the humans needed them UNstuffed. As in (three minutes after scampering off with new toy) would happily return with a limp (un)stuffie, as if to say, "All done, got any more of these you need gutted?" 

    Over the years we've had clothing, accessories, blankets, books, important documents, correspondence, dog crates, leashes, and flatware gnawed by dogs in our family. But not by the current dog-in-residence. 

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 994 Member
    edited February 2017 #6
    Yep, you can overthink

    Yep, you can overthink anything, and you don't even need to have cancer for it. My husband had Stage 1 kidney cancer, and he doesn't worry at all. His doc told him that there is no need to worry - so he follows this advise. I've never had cancer,  but I am hypochondriac. I worry myself crazy about everything health related, and sometimes turn my life into living hell. The good thing is that my hypochondria slowly gets better,  ecause I am fighting it

  • Bay Area Guy
    Bay Area Guy Member Posts: 546 Member
    Oh God yes, it's a really

    Oh God yes, it's a really simple matter to overthink anything.  And with the plethora of information on the internet about any subject, often times conflicting, it's impossible to research anything.  In a fit of maturity (my first in 60 years of life), I stopped researching RCC after my operation.  I still think about it, particularly when I had my first monitoring scan, but I no longer obsess over it.

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    edited February 2017 #8
    All I want to say is YAAY!!

    All I want to say is YAAY!! Glad he's not concerned: out of sight, out of mind kind of thinking.

    At least he's obeying his doctor's follow up monitoring.

    EnJOY I say!

    Jan

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    I guess we're all different

    I guess we're all different and handle it differently. I firmly believe one should do whatever works best. Personally, I like to be my own advocate and so I did read (and still do) up on RCC and try to stay current on research for this disease. I also have copies of all my scan and test results, including the pathology report. So I can't say it's "out of sight, out of mind" for me, and never was. But if that approach works for someone, great!

    As for the kidney out today and back to work tomorrow, well... I try to take that one with a grain of salt :)

  • mrou50
    mrou50 Member Posts: 389
    Over think

    Sure overthinking is built into our DNA as for your friend he is very fortunate to just move on and not worry that I would assume is a very rare quality.

    Mark

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237
    Google is NOT your friend

    Dont go there. Its better to know nothing than listen to a fools advice

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    edited March 2017 #12
    LOL, Google is how I found

    LOL, Google is how I found you all :)

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237

    Google is NOT your friend

    Dont go there. Its better to know nothing than listen to a fools advice

    OK! OK! OK!

    Google is not your friend for finding information about your cancer, but it is an excellent way of finding support groups like this.

  • Steve.Adam
    Steve.Adam Member Posts: 463

    OK! OK! OK!

    Google is not your friend for finding information about your cancer, but it is an excellent way of finding support groups like this.

    Footstomper kidney

    I searched google for 'footstomper kidney' and page 85 of this forum topped the list.

    You are almost famous (or maybe it's your kidney).

    Steve

  • Ree_Maryland
    Ree_Maryland Member Posts: 161
    edited March 2017 #15

    Footstomper kidney

    I searched google for 'footstomper kidney' and page 85 of this forum topped the list.

    You are almost famous (or maybe it's your kidney).

    Steve

    Does anyone know if drinking

    Does anyone know if drinking coffee is ok? had right kidney removed , still crave coffee and drinking it. please give me some imput , thank you 

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member

    Ree, mine was just a partial but I was not told to avoid anything so I do have a cup in the morning. Ask your doctor if you want to be sure but I really doubt that a cup of coffee in the morning would be harmful.

  • Steve.Adam
    Steve.Adam Member Posts: 463
    Coffee

    People have been drinking coffee for so long now that we would know if it was bad for kidneys.

    Some people drink vast amounts for years and seem ok.

    Steve.

  • donna_lee
    donna_lee Member Posts: 1,023 Member
    edited March 2017 #18
    Coffee!

    My limit is 2 cups before noon...otherwise I really have trouble going to sleep.  But it was like that for years prior to the Neph.  And I'm OK today 10.5 yrs. after Neph. and not Dr. has had a problem with me drinking it.

    donna_lee