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I love my sole mate

Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2017

I lost my precious wife in Aug 2016 ( one day before my 41st birthday) she was 41.  We were married 20 years in June of 2016.  She was sick for almost four years.  We tired everything and anything to get her better. She had breast cancer that spread EVERYWHERE.   She was to sick to attend our two daughter's high school graduation. She was bedridden her last year of life.  She was given one week to live and ended up, with God's grace living 14 more months.  I miss her so much.  As I read through everyone else's posts I feel very comforted that my emotions, thoughts, Actions, are so identical.   My wife and I had a love for each other that most people dream about.  We were each other's worlds. I thank everyone on here for sharing their story, it helps a little to know how others feel.  


Thank you for listening




Posts: 167
Joined: Apr 2009

I hear you Wenlover-I understand exactley what you are going through. I lost my soul mate in November. The longing, sense of aloneness, is almost overhwelming. You are not alone with your pain, for what its worth, there are others experiening the same sense of loss and miss the love of our lifes. You are in my prayers, seriously, that is not a token platitude.

Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2017

Yes, Learning that you are not alone seems to help. I lost my wonderful, not perfect, but my dearest friend and husband on the last day of June this year. He battled Mesothelioma for 2 years, he was 43 and we'd just celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary. We had been together since we were both 18. Our oldest is in college and our youngest is graduating high school now. We were married so young and had children so early, and we were really looking forward to spending time in our 40s and doing things that all our friends did when they were younger. He was really looking forward to grandchildren someday, and I was looking forward to spending time focused on us. I find that few people understand - people who have lost parents or children face a different grief, one I can't understand - but losing a spouse, particularly a young spouse - is hard to explain. Night time is the worst; I try and make sure that I'm simply exhausted before the day ends so I can go to sleep. Going places with people who are couples, is just painful. I know I need the community, but I can barely stand listening to people talk about vacation plans or house improvements, all of those things are painful for me now. I was ok through the holidays because the kids were around, but New Year hit me particularly hard, which is why I sought out this group - I found that I could barely manage to think of a year that he wasn't on this earth with me, and yet it came, like a ton of bricks. I bury myself in work now, it helps the most, and cleaning the house, and doing things for my sons. I'd say I'm sorry, but I know from experience that it doesn't help - just know that you are not alone. My soulmate he was, and always will be - I wish I had an answer on how we take the next step. If you figure it out - let me know. I waffle between feeling blessed that I was given such an amazing gift in our love, and simply being angry that it was taken away. I know anger doesn't help - so my only advice is to channel the anger into something good, and channel the grief into being busy, but when you are alone - it is sometimes important to let them out. 

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