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After the APR...

Sharronoffaith's picture
Sharronoffaith
Posts: 76
Joined: Nov 2015

Hi everyone,

 

it has been a while for me since I visited this forum.  You folks are great though!  I appreciated the feedback and support as I was here before the surgery...writing and worrying and asking questions.  i lost track of my password and everything, and I just sorta faded out of existence.  That is just how it is for me at the moment...I just sorta faded away from everyone and everything in my life.  But, God is good.  

 

Anyway... my APR surgery was late February of this year.  The 29th....how could I ever forget THAT day.  It is hard some days, and it has pretty much changed my life forever.  But, I healed well, and the tumor was dead when they removed it, and there were no positive nodes.  And the stoma is small...and I named it "boo boo."   

So, all is good sorta.  It is weird though...and some days it is just an uncomfortable reminder.  

Guess that's all I have to say right now.  Things are ok, but different.  I am alone a lot, but hopefully connecting with people who care.  Cancer isolated me, and I thought it was something was wrong with me.  People just didn't call or write.  And, it wasn't because I TALK about my cancer.  I prefer NOT to talk about it.  Some people just suck...sorry, true...some folks are just friends when it is about them.  I'm not mad.  It was a good lesson though.  

Thanks for all the strength and support in this forum!  Everyone here knows what it is like in one way or another.  I am sorta numb to the word "cancer."  

hang i there everybody!  And thanks!

 

sharron and boo boo

alive and kicking...

 

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 1166
Joined: Aug 2013

I'm glad your doing well with the treatments, I also know the isolation of this disease, in my case some of it is self-inflicted. People don't know what to really do or say, so they make gestures, then get away. It's like someone put a big, red "C" on your forehead, and now those who see it, don't know what to do, so they do little or nothing. In response, I tend to devalue the relationship, and avoid them back. I know there's a better way to deal with all this, I just am not at that point where I want to fix what I didn't break. Human nature is a b*tch! Hope things keep pointing upward for you, Sharron....................................Dave

Sharronoffaith's picture
Sharronoffaith
Posts: 76
Joined: Nov 2015

i think you are right in that people don't know what to say.  I prefer just to talk about other things, and to live my life with the cancer as a personal thing.  In the outside world, I think that is the way to do it.  God knows, I don't want to, and will not SAY the word rectum outside of the docs office.  

Anyway, maybe we are like the penguins in "March of the Penguins."  I felt sad as the one little penguin just straggled behind and it was clear he wasn't going to make it....sigh!

"I am not a penguin!"

<smile>

 

 

 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5491
Joined: Jan 2013

I belong to a church where service is tops. Well, until it comes to Cancer. I was totally shocked at how I was left alone. OK, meals were brought in after my surgery, and on my Birthday, people tried to make it good. But then it all fell away, and people didn't even call. I would skip church and nothing. I was shocked! I even told them I wasn't contagious. 

I do undrestand that it is because genreally people have a fear of Cancer, and just 'don't know what to say'. I tell them, just say anything. I was so lonley during treatment, with my husband gone 14 hours on his work days.

I'm not mad at them, as such, just surprised at their reaction.

What did it teach me? When someone is ill, no matter what with, an ear is better than any meal. Even a quick phone call, can make someones day.

Oh, and the other day, someone found out that I had Cancer and immedietely their attitude toward me changed, like I had grown two heads or something. I told her outright that I was the same today as I was last week before she knew I had Cancer.

Oh well! We have each other here, don't we.

TRU 

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

Sharon, I'm glad you're feeling so well. Boo boo, that's funny! I always think of mine as a slice of the side of a strawberry but I don't have a name for it. Being positive will go far, keep up the spirits!

I've been very lucky, I guess. I just haven't had bad experiences with the cancer or found that anyone avoided me or was weird about it. Or maybe I haven't noticed. It did bring me back together with an old best friend from early childhood to late twenties who I've missed terribly. We'd just drifted apart and now we're close again.

Anyway, I hope that at least most of us don't have to deal with negativity. I know from my own experience in the past that if I knew someone had cancer who was an acquaintance I'd hope to not run into them. I was always scared that they'd look ill and it would hurt my heart to see them. Maybe that's part of the problem?

Jan

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