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26 year old daughter just confirmed colon cancer in liver, lungs, etc

don2535
Posts: 2
Joined: Sep 2016

I am so numb - don't know what to do or think.  How do I handle this?  What is the next step?

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

As a "caregiver", you should remain in the background and provide support and encouragement for whatever direction the patient decides to take.

I always suggest getting a second and third opinion as a "start". The opinions should be from physicians that are NOT of the same group or association as the present physicians. And an opinion from a qualified colorectal surgeon is 1,000% better than an opinion from an Oncologist.

No treatment should be started until you have some other opinions regarding treatment options. Once you start down the road, it's very difficult, if not impossible to "back up".

Encourage the patient to not allow fear to be the guide; there's plenty of time to decide the right course to take.

You as a caregiver, have to remain rock-steady. Your fear will seep into the patient and can cause more damage than you can imagine.

There is nothing to fear, and everything to gain by taking time to learn everything you possibly can about cancer.

It is not the end of the world, it's just a revision.....

Stay well,

John

 

kristasplace's picture
kristasplace
Posts: 956
Joined: Oct 2007

Welcome to the board! I'm sorry you have to be here, but it's so wonderful that you were able to find it. There's a wealth of information here; different opinions than the doctors will probably give you, as well as what to expect from treatments if she chooses to do the chemoes. There are so many sides to the cancer story.

Like John said, staying as positive as you can, surrounding her with a loving, sympathetic (but not panicked) energy, will help her to remain calm. Listen closely to what the doctors say and don't be afraid to question every, single thing. Then go online and research, research, research. If she joins you in this, all the better. There are alternatives to the treatments the doctors have to offer, so carefully research those, too. We here, can offer resources to help you.

I'm nine years out of a colorectal cancer diagnosis; stage IV with mets to ovary, lungs and colon. Most of my treatments were surgery with only two short stints with chemo. I treat my recurrences with diet now. It's been a long road that required TONS of research and a lot of trial and error along the way, but I'm still here, and she certainly can be, too. 

Please come back often and see if your daughter will join, too. If nothing else, speaking to others who understand precisely what she's going through, may comfort her.

Hugs and best wishes,

Krista

don2535
Posts: 2
Joined: Sep 2016

She is getting second opinion. Son-in-law has also worked in cutting edge cancer field for last 15 years and reaching out to all sources.  So hard to stay in the background as the parent - but that is what we are doing.  (she hasn't talked to us since the diagnoses - too hard for her).  This is day one of our new normal.

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 1069
Joined: Aug 2013

Sounds like the son-in-law will be leading in getting her what she needs, it's fortunate he's in that field. So your role is love and support, how much and when become the tricky parts. 26 is painfully young for this battle, give her some time to process and get used to her new normal, then she'll probably let you know what she needs. Keep your spirits up, new treatments and better outcomes are happening. Good luck to her and to you...........................Dave

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

I'm so sorry your family is going through this. Best of luck to your daughter. I didn't respond peviously because I have nothing to offer as far as helpful ideas. Take care.

Jan

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