Lonliness

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Jennjenn71
Jennjenn71 Member Posts: 1
in Ovarian Cancer #1

I'm dealing with loneliness right now. Precancer I dated, had boyfriends and a life! Now I sit in my apartment with my bald head and just feel ugly and lonely. I would live to date again but how does one date after cancer? I wouldn't even mind a pen pal. Just someone to talk to. Yes, I have friends, family and my daughter but what I'm craving is companionship. 

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  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,368 Member
    #2
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    Jennjenn, first I hope that

    Jennjenn, first I hope that coming and telling us helps you feel a little better, if not, I would recommend talking with your pastor or EAP through work.  

    Going through treatment, and everything it does to your body, is hard.  Please be kind to yourself during this time and know that it just takes time.  Feel free to email the board, it is quiet sometime but there are good women here who would be happy to chat with you. 

     

  • Missjessicalyn
    Missjessicalyn Member Posts: 10
    edited August 2016 #3
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    Hi Jennjenn,

    Hi Jennjenn,

    I've been single going through this too - actually, I was dating someone at dx and throughout treatment but it was difficult to sustain a relationshio during that time. Now I am 4 months postchemo and just starting to date again. My hair is short and sort of unruly - it's not the best, but it's no longer apparent that I've had chemo. I won't lie, dating is tough after cancer. For me, anyway, having cancer made me a bit selfish. And it's such an emotional time. I relied on my family and friends quite a bit and didn't have much patience for meeting new people (although I go to a support group and I find it really helpful). Now I'm feeling better phyically and mentally - and you will, too - and I'm ready to start dating again. I'm not sure it will be easy, so I'm taking it slow. There are definitely issues that I'm nervous about, esp since I am essentially a 44 year old postmenopausal woman. But if you're feeling lonely, I would reach out to friends and family - they are the ones who are going to be most comforting right now! And of course, feel free to message me - I am on this site a bit sporadically, but it sounds like we have similar issues being single through treatment.

    Jessica

  • margaux
    margaux Member Posts: 12
    #4
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    Yes, is so lonely because

    Yes, is so lonely because even if you have some people around, it can be so hard because they don't really understand. It is so isolating. I have friends as well, but you don't want to "tire them out" by always being the depressing person of the room. So then I start avoiding my friends, increasing my loneliness. I feel like I can no longer relate to their problems and it makes feel self-centered. It's like I'm on another planet and sometimes hanging out with the friends is exhausting and makes me feel even worse, because they have normal lives. Even reading books and seeing people on TV with normal lives depresses and makes me feel cut off. So today a friend recommended support groups--online and/or in person and you can find on google a site that matches you with a pen pal with the same experiences. It is really hard and believe me--you're not alone feeling cut off from the rest of the world who is not stuck in the madness of cancer.

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