CSN Login
Members Online: 1

You are here

Been quiet but still lurking

Tichondria's picture
Tichondria
Posts: 39
Joined: Mar 2016

Sept. marks my first post cancer surgery checkup. I'm anxious about my first scan since getting my diagnosis and subsequent surgery to remove the cancer. I have full faith that this scan will more than likely be good news and nothing will show up. But it's the other little things that has made my last few months so difficult, and honestly very lonely feeling.

I'm an overweight woman. I have been since I was a teenager, and while I have lost over 30 lbs, my weightloss had to take a back seat once I got diagnosed. I went from 315 to 275. Then this happened, surgery happened and I'm back up to 280/290 (water weight has been terrible lately) I went from being a woman who rarely ate sweet things or even had cravings for sweet, to wanting nothing but sweet things all the time. Before my surgery all I wanted was sour/vinegary type foods.

To top it off, I'm nervous about what will happen once I meet up with the gastrointologist that I've been assigned to see this month. Apparently my normal gyno doctor was concerned to hear that I have (pardon me for being TMI here) rectal bleeding 6-7 times a month, and sometimes 2+ times a week. Being that I'm very over weight, I just chalked it up to hemmoroids. But I guess my gyno is concerned about cancer. I try not to  think about that being a possibility but since being diagnosed with my first cancer... I can't help but be frightened and worried about a possible 2nd diagnosis as colon cancer runs in my family on my father's side. His brother recently passed away from it, and while he himself has recently been cleared of having it, I worry for myself.

My great grandmother had uterine cancer, stage 1 grade 1, and still died from it due to reoccurance. My grandmother had uterine cancer and has been ned since hysterectomy. And so far my mother/sister have remained clear of any cancer type. I know I'm probably thinking too much into this, but I still get worried lately. I also feel at times that with my stage1 grade 1 diagnosis, i don't have the right to worry so much and should just be thankfull that I had such a low form of it.

Anyway, I just needed to vent and to also say that while I don't post much if at all lately. I go and read every one of you lovely ladies updates here and cry or cheer for every loss/win that happens. I wish NED prayers upon all of you and send much love to you brave women.

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1659
Joined: Jun 2015

Tichonria, It is normal to be apprehensive for that first post check up. I think you will feel a lot better once it is behind you. I'm glad your doctor is being proactive and wants you to get checked out for colon issues. The procedure isn't a big deal since you sleep through it. Now, the prep is not fun. Hopefully it is nothing but better to know that instead of worrying about it.

Stay strong and keep up the good work on your weight loss. Even though you have gained a bit back, you also have maintained most of what you lost. If you aren't doing so, try to add walking into your daily routine. That will help a lot with your sad feelings as well as just overall physical health. Also, if you drink a lot of water, that helps with that darn water retention.

Please come back and let us know the outcome. We are all here to support you!

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

Editgrl's picture
Editgrl
Posts: 903
Joined: Jun 2015

I was apprehensive before that first post-everything checkup, too.  I think it's normal.  You've been through so much, and the possibility that, hey, there might still be something there after all that is disheartening.  But I felt so great when I was given the all-clear.

Your doctor is being pro-active on having you see a gastrointerologist.  Your colon issues may be nothing, but it is definitely better to get that addressed now rather than later.

And congratulations, really, on your weight loss.  You've only gained a bit back.  Cindi's suggestion about walking is spot on, especially in helping with your mental outlook.  A brisk walk will get those endorphins flowing!

Please keep us updated.

Tichondria's picture
Tichondria
Posts: 39
Joined: Mar 2016

Thank you ladies. I will try to add walking again into my daily routine. I had been walking almost 2 miles a day before this all happened and now I'm sadly back at square one and having a hard time just doing 1-2 blocks. Also this heat does not help me one bit. I'm sure once the first scan is done and all shows well I will loose all this anxiety and just feel a lot better. I'm glad I have a pro-active doctor. My normal GP wants to see about getting me in for bariatric surgery though. Normal dieting doesn't appear to be working very well, as to loose weight I can only eat up to 800 calories a day which is very, very, low and hard. Not to mention disheartening, when for my bmi/height/weight a normal diet would consist of 1500 calories. That is for loosing 2lbs a week on average without exorcise. But we shall see.

 

Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2828
Joined: Jun 2010

About the weight issue:  The ONLY thing that works for me is logging food and exercising and really measuring (I guestimate a lot).  Have you ever visited the site Sparkpeople.com?  I've been to Weight Watchers,  made my own spreadsheets, tried every diet on the planet, blah blah blah.    I really find that Sparkpeople helps me keep things in perspective (when I use it).  I often think I've had very few calories, but then I find myself either gaining or at least not losing any weight, and will start measuring and logging all that food I put in my mouth, and it becomes obvious to me me that I haven't been as good as I think I've been.  For me, it just doesn't fall off like it used to. 

I was Stage 1, grade 1, too.  I never had a scan.  Why are you having one?  Good luck on your colon testing.  Some advice for the prep:  My last colonoscopy was different even though I had the same prep.  This time, they told me to take half of it the night before and half the morning of.  I also drank it through a straw, placing the straw way in the back of my mouth so I really didnt' taste it much.  The rest is unavoidable, but those 2 things really made a difference to me.  (Oh, and I wore a Depends on the way to my appointment as my appointment was 45 minutes away from home!)  Ask the gastroenterologist about splitting the dose into 2 times rather than all at once.  And please don't worry about being overweight when you see him.  You are not the first overweight woman he's seen.  Good luck!

Suzanne

Tichondria's picture
Tichondria
Posts: 39
Joined: Mar 2016

Yep, I weigh food on digital scale. I drink water. It's why I know that anything over 800 calories a day for me and I just gain, gain gain. It's horrible. I also have to cut out all breads and many other things just to keep from bloating/gaining water weight. It really is just disheartening because my body wants more food. But to eat over 800 cals means I will not loose any weight. I use myfitnesspal.com to log what I eat, when, how much and any / all exorcise i get.

Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2828
Joined: Jun 2010

I imagine all the "helpful" hints you get re. losing weight only makes you feel more frustrated.  I hope I didn't add to that with my post.  I absolutely wish you the best in your efforts to get your weight under control whatever it takes.  And also with the followup exam/scan and colonoscopy thing.  Arghhh.  Enough already!

Suzanne

Kvdyson's picture
Kvdyson
Posts: 789
Joined: Jan 2016

Tichondria, have you been tested for Lynch Syndrome? It's a hereditary disorder that increases the risk of colon, uterine and ovarian cancers. In can also cause benign colon polyps. With the family history that you described in your post, it seems like it might be the culprit. Wising you well with your appointment this month. Kim

Tichondria's picture
Tichondria
Posts: 39
Joined: Mar 2016

Thank you for suggesting that Kvdyson. I will have them test me for that. And Double, no way did I feel your kind words made me more frustrated. I was just replying to adv. That I do weigh my food and what not. I am thankfull for any and all comments I get and I appreciate you taking time to reply to me. I hope my reply didn't sound upset because I was anything but ;) I hope all you wonderful ladies are doing well.

Subscribe to Comments for "Been quiet but still lurking"