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Post treatment feeling of impending mortality

BeatlesForever's picture
BeatlesForever
Posts: 2
Joined: Jul 2016

Hi all,

I'm 55 and was diagnosed a couple years ago.  Had my thyroid removed a month after diagnosis...radioactive iodine treatment went great...take a thyroid pill every day and every follow up blood test shows I'm doing just fine...but...I can't seem to shake this feeling that I don't have much time left before I die of something.  My wife says this all started after the diagnosis and that I never talked this way before.  She's right and I think it's because thyroid cancer was such a surprise, I wonder what else is going on health wise that I don't know about.  So many types of cancer can be traced to specific life style choices, but thyroid cancer just pops up out of nowhere without warning and says, "I'm here...deal with me".  I can't even point to something unhealthy I did that brought this on, it just happened for no reason.  

I recently had a complete physical and mechanically everything's good so there's no logical reason to think I'll be checking out soon...but it's tough to shake that nagging little voice that wonders what other surprises my body may be cooking up for me that I don't know about.  I was wondering if other cancer survivors go through this same thing?  Anyone else feel like life threw cancer their way and they beat it, but are worried about having a long post cancer lifetime?

Thanks!

D

 

janettelavon
Posts: 7
Joined: Nov 2012

Hi D, 

I was 38 when I was diaganosed with Hurthel cell thyroid cancer. By the time I had the surgery to remove the cancer it had spread to several lymph nodes. I went through the iodine radiation and I didn't handle it very well. It has now been 4 years and I feel the same way you do. I feel like the cancer can come back at any time and its just waiting aroung the corner to surprise me again. Dealing with cancer really throws your mortality in your face. When my thyroid meds get off and my TSH is high I  have more of an impending doom feeling then when it is ok. I've not been able to get it to be stable yet but I look forward to when I don't have to change dosages every 3 months.  I think that having a good support group would help.  I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with the feeling. 

J

BeatlesForever's picture
BeatlesForever
Posts: 2
Joined: Jul 2016

Thanks J...nice to hear I'm not the only one.  Hoping this feeling fades as post operative time goes by, but it's quite unnerving.  Kind of like feeling your body is some kind of time bomb and cancer (or heart problems or whatever) can blow up in your face at any time without warning.  

At last weeks 6 month followup, my doc said my TSH was way off at a blood test I had for my annual physical 3 months ago.  We narrowed it down to the fact I wasn't taking my levothyroxin on an empty stomach every morning, but with breakfast instead.  Who knew it would matter?  Oh well...learned something new about my post cancer life Wink

toots25's picture
toots25
Posts: 9
Joined: Jun 2016

THANK YOU D. for posting this. I have felt to " sillY" to even mention my feelings of impending cancer doom. EVERYONE around me acts like it's no big deal. Thta it's " JUST PTC" But I have had other cancer scares in my recent past with my Lady parts (Benign) & Just feel like its going to be cancer that takes me away from my kids & Grandbabies. i play down my cancer because no one around me thinks its a big deal buty it scares the hell out of me & I cant shake the feeling of impending doom.Thanks to this post & others responses I am going to have a REAL talk with my Primary Dr & ENT that's doing my Surgery Aug.12th & tell them my feelings. They keep saying my Thyroid levels are fine but how can that be when I have cancer? i dont even know what LEVELS they are talking about..Again Thank you for posting this. Kathy

 

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