Horrible Twist - Updates

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marbleotis
marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
edited July 2016 in Colorectal Cancer #1

Update: 7/8/16: This morning he has the port insertion surgery, next Thur chemo begins to get at those liver spots, 12 in all.  This is more than I can comprehend at times.  I though Jan 2017 would be my 5 year NED and cancer would leave my family - I was wrong.  This sucks bigger than any word or phrase I can think of. Since mine was 3B/signet, I do not know too much about mets to liver, so any advice would be appreciated.

 

We just got the updates on my son-in-law.  It is stage 4 rectal cancer with mets to liver.  Had liver scan today to determine extent and will have liver biopsy next week and port installed.

First the doctors will deal with the liver (chemo/surgery), then the rectal, rad/surgery/chemo.

This is too much he is only 28 and just married 6 months.  They have protected the fertility - as I told them they will have a future together and do not let cancer take it away - it takes enough away. 

I am shocked and stunned.

Any advise appreciated as my colon cancer was stage 3b and I did not have any mets spread.

Thanks to you all.

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  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,280 Member
    edited June 2016 #2
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    That is a load to bear so

    That is a load to bear so young alright. They won't treat the original mass until they deal with the liver? That's frustrating, there ought to be something systemic they can give to weaken any and all tumors you would think. Well I'm colon affected like you, so I don't know rectal treatments well enough to do anything but wish your daughters man a very good response to treatment, and you some moments of peace and strength..................................Dave

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,796 Member
    #3
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    Sad

    So very young, and stage IV. That is really sad. But, we know that Stage IV is treatable, and his youth will carry him a very long way. 

    I also have a friend whose liver mets are being treated while they leave his primary tumour alone. Its a rough journey but my friend is doing really well.

    I know you will keep us informed. You are all in my prayers. 

    SUE

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    #4
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    Trubrit said:

    Sad

    So very young, and stage IV. That is really sad. But, we know that Stage IV is treatable, and his youth will carry him a very long way. 

    I also have a friend whose liver mets are being treated while they leave his primary tumour alone. Its a rough journey but my friend is doing really well.

    I know you will keep us informed. You are all in my prayers. 

    SUE

    Thanks

    I just don't know what to do.  They were so scared as the Onc said stage 4.  They know what that means and they know I was a stage 3.  I want to protect both of them from this and I can't.

    This is too much - all I do is cry

  • BillO60
    BillO60 Member Posts: 72
    #5
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    No words of wisdom

    Hi

    I'm sorry about your son-in-law and what he's going to have to go through. 

    From your comment "They know what that means..." I'm sure you don't mean that they believe life is over for them.  As Sue mentioned, there are certainly Stage IV survivors (I hope to claim that title one day myself).  It's not about denying what's going on, or thinking everything is going to be blue-sky and roses, because it's not.  

    But,  he's alive now and it's important for him, his wife, you, and anyone else that loves and cares for him to remind him of that daily. You are family which means you already have a built-in support group.  The support group needs to remember that focusing on every minute will improve his, and your, quality of life.

    Once the initial shock and sadness is over,  you and his wife have to be as positive as you can be and help him to think about now because it's the now that he's living in, not the next test, treatment, next lab result, and certainly not an unknown future.

    It's well documented that how someone perceives something in their head can easily affect their physical well-being so he will need to perceive this as a challenge because "You can't win if you don't play" is never truer than when someone is fighting cancer.

    I wish all of you, your family, his wife, and him all the best.

    Bill

    Negative thinking is contagious (it really is) and will sap the energy from even the most positive person.

  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    #6
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    Update

    Update added

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