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Rocquie's picture
Rocquie
Posts: 857
Joined: Mar 2013

I have been debating whether to mention it here.

The last 2 threads I started have moved back to the top, so I decided I would. I really appreciate all the responses I have gotten. I have read posts everyday and wanted to respond as I thought I had something to offer. Also, I need and rely on this forum for dealing with my own lymphoma. 

The fact of the matter is that we have been suffering with a horrible, devestating, family tragedy. Our beloved Grandson took his own life 3 weeks ago. 

I am trying to cope. I haven't been sleeping well or eating well nor exercising. Not good for my own health. I am trying to move forward and I know from experience that one day I will feel better. 

Now that I have moved past the elephant in the room, I hope to rejoin the conversations here. 

Love to all. . .

Rocquie

 

Sten's picture
Sten
Posts: 162
Joined: Apr 2013

Rocquie,

I am so sorry for you.

I hope that the love of your family and the love that you feel for them can help some.

Sten

DadysGirl
Posts: 346
Joined: Aug 2011

I'm so very... sorry Rocquie. 

Max Former Hodg...
Posts: 3690
Joined: May 2012

Roc,

No wonder you debated when to write !

I work in a support role with law enforcement (I am not a police officer).  There is an EPIDEMIC of suicide in the US right now, as well as Europe.  Suicide-related calls are among the most common.  I myself have had clinical depression (now more commonly called "serious depression") since the age of 14 -- an unusually young age for this problem to emerge.

You have my prayers, and I know the prayers and kind wishes of all who write here.   I can only suspect that this will take a long, long time to work through emotionally.

There is a hit out for I guess a couple of years now, How to Save a LifeI had thought it was about a relationship breakup, but when I watched its video, saw that it is fact a suicide intertvention song instead. 

I am not going to link it now, for it might be too painful, but encourage all to go see it for themselves.    Do not get "survivor's guilt," as this is no survivor's "fault," but all need to know that this is a terrible problem in today's world.

I wish you and the parent's well,

max

illead's picture
illead
Posts: 874
Joined: Aug 2012

Well, just the thing that has been discussed, now it is difficult for us to know what to say.  I know the pain in your heart is not only emotional but it is literal.  This is the worst of the worst and I am so sorry that you and your family are going through an almost impossible time.  We love you Roquie and we are here for you.  We can't do much but listen, so please know you can let out any feelings that you need to.

I hope you know you are in my prayers,

Becky

Kaniksu
Posts: 54
Joined: Nov 2015

I know some of the thoughts you must be feeling as I have lost a brother and my niece to this tragedy...my heart is aching for you....please take care of yourself and pour your heart out to friends and family..nancy

DadysGirl
Posts: 346
Joined: Aug 2011

:( Nancy

So very sorry. 

OO7's picture
OO7
Posts: 282
Joined: Sep 2014

How absolutely horrible for you and all those who loved him.

I recall writing to you possibly that Hell had several levels, now you know that too.  I am so sorry and please accept my deepest condolences.  I personally will have you in my thoughts and prayers.  I hope you can soon look past this  tragedy, heal and take care of yourself.

In my most recent experiences, I found this to be rather difficult.  I did learn to dig deep, then deeper yet.  I found the importances (for me) to be alone and take the much needed time to process all of what I was confronted with.

Sadly Max is correct.  This is an epidemic, my dear friends nephew took his life a months ago.

I wish I knew the right words to write, I don't for this....

May you have peace and comfort soon.

 

GSP2's picture
GSP2
Posts: 103
Joined: Feb 2015

There are no words  to describe what you are feeling nor anything I or anyone can say to ease your pain.

Do not second guess anything, although human nature is to look back for signs or anything subtle that

could have tipped you off. Your child will certainly be doing that as they work through

their grieving. It is sad that at that age there was no perceived hope.

As you and others have mentioned you have your "battle" and need to re-arm yourself.

If needed please consider outside sources, social worker, counsellor, etc. and if they feel medication

is advisable for the short term please avail yourself of what might be offered.

 

Steve.

 

 

lindary's picture
lindary
Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2015

Rocquie,

I am sorry to hear about your Godson's death.

I have had friends who have lost a child to suicide and to natural causes. We have lost some co-workers to natural causes and 1 to suicide. It is terrible to lose a person to suicide and the death seems to hurt more than those who die from other causes. One thing I have noticed is that as time passes the pain of how they died fades to the back even when you think about how much you miss them. Prayers for you & your family.

 

Linda

po18guy's picture
po18guy
Posts: 1216
Joined: Nov 2011

We all need hope. We survive on it. It is the oxygen of our spirits just as air is to our bodies. Perhaps especially so with cancer patients. We cannot know the reasons for such acts. We can only feel the pain and emptiness that results. The hurt that he must have felt is unimaginable. Grieve we must, but life naturally moves through grief to yet another new normal, which will never be the same, but nevertheless remains worth living. So many around us suffer in silence, with no apparent outlet or vision of light at the end of the tunnel. We may feel helpless, and at times we may be, but we always have hope. It is the saving grace which binds us together so that we always have each other to confide in, bounce our thoughts and feelings off of, and vent to. You are especially in my thoughts and prayers. 

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