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Overdoing it

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1480
Joined: Oct 2015

I was feeling so good last week!  It's our busy season at work and ever since I "graduated" from physical therapy two weeks ago, I went back to work full time - either 9 to 5 or 10 to 6.  Then last Friday we left work early to go to our youngest daughter's college graduation about three hours away.  When we arrived, we took the kids out to eat and helped them pack since they had to be out of their apartment on Sunday for their move to Minneapolis.  We were up at six the next morning since the doors opened at 7:45 and had to park blocks away.  We had to sit on gym bleachers for over four hours in the heat.  By the time the ceremony was over, I was beat.  We had to stand in the hot sun for pictures and finally, I told my husband I couldn't walk back to the car.  Honestly, I could have taken off my wig, curled up on the lawn and fell asleep.  

Our daughter ran back to the car and picked my husband and me up.  By this time, I was just shaking.  We debated about going to the emergency room but my husband thought I might just be dehydrated.  With my stomach problems, I hadn't eaten anything since the night before because I never know when I may have make it to the bathroom in a big hurry.  He got me some water and then some chicken soup broth and I told him I felt well enough to make it back home.  We were supposed to go to a wedding that night but there was no way I could go anywhere.  Sunday, I slept most of the day and had dinner with some friends at their house.  On Monday, I totally crashed.  I fell at work - I was so dizzy and off balance.  I had to leave work and slept for almost 15 hours!!  We had a family meeting on Tuesday and I'm only going to work four or five hours a day and I told my husband and son I may never be able to work full time again.  I know my husband is so worried about me which makes me feel even worse.

I guess I thought I was "cured" and could resume my old life.  What a kick in the pants!!  Next week will be EIGHT months since my surgery - what is wrong??  How can I feel great one day and feeling like I'm on death's door the next?  I see my GP and oncologist's PA next month.  I'm going to ask my GP to run a full blood panel.  I still think this is a digestive problem caused by the chemo.  We're taking off later this afternoon for a long weekend at the lake and I'm just going to rest and relax and try to put this awful week behind me.

I love you all and don't know what I would do without your support and understanding!!

Love,

Eldri

 

CheeseQueen57's picture
CheeseQueen57
Posts: 936
Joined: Feb 2016

Oh Eldri!

I think at some point we all come to the conclusion that we will never have our old life back.  Although  you've made great strides in your recovery,  your previous pace is most likely behind you.  I know I'm feeling that with more than a little regret.  But there's so much ahead of you and me that we should not dwell on the things we can't do, but on the things we still can do and enjoy.  Pace yourself.  It's important in your proces  now of STAYING WELL!  Please, please, take care  of yourself.                 

brissance's picture
brissance
Posts: 192
Joined: May 2016

Eldri, I just met you but I feel like I have known you forever...   I am guessing you are a bit hard headed and very self assured.  That is what I love about you.  You are determined to jump back into the deep end of the pool and just start swimming the Olympic events..  NOW.  Dear Lady you will but you have to recharge.  For the last year you have had a major surgery where a goodly amount of your vital organs were removed.  Then you spend endless days being poisoned with chemo therapy.   Yep poisoned.  The design is to kill part of your cells.  Then they put radiation in your body (remember -drop duck and cover)..  well that worked a number on you and they finished it off with a bit more poison to kill a few more cells.  

So...  you just wouldn't die.  You survived but lots of your body parts are saying "hey wait, let me get strong. I have had pretty stressful time getting you NED.  Now let me get strong.  .  ." 

Reverse this whole thing, if it were your daughter or your husband.  You had seen them suffer what you suffered since diagnosis, you would be amazed they were doing as well as you. You would see the improvement and know with time and love you WILL be back full steam.  Just baby yourself a bit.  Listen to your family and don't give up.  You are too important to everyone, including your little community on this board to not realize you are going to be our model of how to face and beat this evil disease.  God bless.

Lou Ann M's picture
Lou Ann M
Posts: 996
Joined: Feb 2015

Eldri, you have been through a lot in these last eight months?  You did a lot that was out of your normal realm and it caught up to you.  StaY hydrated and eat for one thing, your body needs that energy to keep going.  I am a good one to talk as eating and drinking are a major sourse of problems.  You still need to rest, too.  Your strength will come back in its own time.  We are all so impatien.  Every time I think I am feeling stronger, I try to hard and come home zonked.  During my 7 months of NED I would make it through my normal day in the classroom, but when we went on a short vacatioN, just riding in the car got me.  

Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

Sandy3185's picture
Sandy3185
Posts: 228
Joined: Oct 2013

I was in your position about 6 months after I completed chemo. I went to visit my daughter and insisted that everything was back to normal. We spent the day running errands, went to the mall etc. Late that afternoon we went to take her baby for a walk and I tripped coming down the (1!) step from the porch and fell. I jumped up and tried to pretend everything was OK and insisted on taking the walk. I walked about 5 steps and fainted!

We all want to get back to our "normal lives" but we need to accept that we have a new normal now. It takes quite a while for our bodies to fully recover and somethings will just be different. It's been 2 years since I completed treatment and I feel great, but I still tire more easily and high heat/sun really get to me. I also tend to get dehydrated easily. Time and treatment do take their toll! So pamper yourself a little bit and remember that your still recovering.  Love and hugs, Sandy

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1808
Joined: Jun 2015

I agree 100% with the other ladies. That being said, I continue to struggle with those days that I'm not as energetic still.

Four days ago I woke up feeling on top of the world. I moved furniture around and rolled up a big area rug to move it to another room and continued to clean, put things back etc. Well.... I guess I forgot how out of shape my body  is... So, now I'm dealing with a pulled muscle in my back and using ice packs multiple times a day.  So Eldri... I get it. I think we all get it. Darn it!  But it sure felt good to do those things again! :-)

I especially love what Brissance said. We do need to treat ourselves like we would a loved one if things were reversed!

Take care of yourself Eldri. Be kind, patient and careful!

Love and hugs,

Cindi

Kvdyson's picture
Kvdyson
Posts: 789
Joined: Jan 2016

Eldri, please don't take chances like that. Not eating, getting dehydrated and over exerting yourself will always lead to bad things. Please treat yourself with love and compassion. You have been through so much and have come so far, please don't do anything that will set you back.

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1480
Joined: Oct 2015

Thank you, my friends.  It makes me feel better when I hear you've gone through this too.  I just want my life back!!!  But, I know it's gone and I guess I'm grieving (and falling down).  

Patty, you hit the nail on the head with me - I WAS hard-headed and self-assured but now it feels like that part of me is slipping away.  And, it sure doesn't help that every day I get older.  Did I tell you I can't find any of my summer shorts?  I bet I gave them to Goodwill in a state of nuttiness!!  But they probably wouldn't fit me anyway......so today I ran to the store and bought two pair - a blue denim pair and a khaki-colored pair....and they fit.  Who needs all kinds of clothes anyway, right?  I also think I'm going to make an appointment to see a counselor.  I saw one for the PTSD and it really helped but now that the chemo is over, the wound care is over, the PT is over, I guess I'm kind of lost living my life from one three-month checkup to another.  And, that's no way to live!

Love you all!!!

Eldri

Editgrl's picture
Editgrl
Posts: 903
Joined: Jun 2015

I have been working so hard in the yard lately, having gotten a huge burst of psychological energy from my NED result.  Then yesterday, I hit the wall.  Felt exhausted, almost sick.  Didn't even clean up the kitchen after cooking dinner and fell asleep on the couch.  Not what the pre-cancer Chris would have done, but there it was.  Eldri, another thing I have found is that I must eat regularly or bad things happen.  I used to skip lunch when I got busy with projects with little (I thought) repercussion.  I can no longer do that.  My body wants food on a regular basis.  Yup, things are just not the same.

CindylovesMike's picture
CindylovesMike
Posts: 50
Joined: May 2016

And it seems like when I have really bad days physically my mind goes to bad places too.

I think a big surgery and chemo can really zap you more than you think.  My belief is everyone is different, I used to get discouraged when I saw people that 

just seemed to sail through it all.  I am 1 year out from chemo and 1 1/2 years out from surgery and still have good days and bad days. 

sending you hugs, Cindy

 

Abbycat2's picture
Abbycat2
Posts: 644
Joined: Feb 2014

then you could handle. This is understandable since you felt so good last week. Like you, I have tried to push myself to live life fully- only to crash later. Recently I swam 2 miles in an Olympic size pool only to discover that I had no energy afterwards to do anything but take a nap. Maybe it's a combination of the results of poisoning chemo on my bodily system plus being 63-years-old. Listen to your body, Eldri, and try not to pack too much in in such a short period of time.

Get plenty of rest!

Hugs,

Cathy

SandyD's picture
SandyD
Posts: 130
Joined: Oct 2015

Like Eldri and all the others, I'm beginning to realize this too. Having gotten the all clear from the oncologist it's easy to convince yourself that all is back to normal. Part of us says "the Dr. says I don't have cancer now so I guess I'm back to where I was". But then when we overdo it even a little (and it takes a lot less than it did pre-cancer) we feel it. I experienced this today and I had to remind that I'm just a month from chemo and a week and a half from brachytherapy. This stuff may kill lots of cancer cells but it's not easy on our bodies and it will take time and I (and all of us) have to learn to pace ourselves and not apologize for it.

Sandy

giggs100's picture
giggs100
Posts: 91
Joined: Oct 2015

As the saying goes.  They told me the after chemo will last at least a year.   So when I become grumpy at something or wobbly on my feet when I get up from sitting in a chair along with other chemo effects I remember why it is happening.  But your right only makes me want my life back like it use to be.  I have to accept it the way it is and thankful for each day I am alive and enjoy them.  And I DO !!!  Take it easy and make sure you get your rest. 

Jerri

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 1095
Joined: Sep 2011

You are perfectly normal for what you have been through!  I can't tell you the hard-headed things I did during all the surgeries, chemo and radiation.  Like ten days out of hysterectomy, I rode 2 hours there and back, twice, to my MIL's visitation and funeral.  Drove myself to and from chemo and radiation, two hours both ways.  Drove myself to a football game three hours away, by myself, two weeks after open heart surgery.  And my all-time favorite, falling down backwards on a set of outdoor bleachers to the bottom.  Not a pretty site!  I was so determined to be "well" it a wonder I didn't kill myself!  We can't go back to who we were,we don't live there anymore.  Take it easy and slow down.  It's a wonderful thing to grow old...if you are not in traction!  Best, Debra

Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2835
Joined: Jun 2010

It takes time for things to rejuvenate given all you've gone through.  And, it's summer (or almost).  Boy howdy, heat can do a number on anyone.  Please get plenty of rest, eat nutritious foods, and stay hydrated and out of the sun - you know all the things we're supposed to do anyway.  End of lecture. 

Love you all,

Suzanne 

Anonymous user (not verified)

Just reading what you did in the short span made me tired.  It certainly sounds like you were dehydrated and probably needed food.  Rest inbetween big events, and don't worry about the times when you have reached your limit.  Enjoy the lake and summer.  Hugs Nancy

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