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Would like someone to talk to

blueeyes36
Posts: 4
Joined: Dec 2015

Posts: 1 
Joined: Dec 2015 

I am 36 years old and was diagnosed with ovarian cancer last March.  I had surgery to remove a large tumor along with my left ovary.  I have always considered myself a strong person, but over the past year I have really been feeling overwhelmed.  My body has gone through a lot physically and have mended well, but mentally I don't know how to begin to heal.  I am full of so many emotions and don't know where to start.  I don't have much family talk to, I had an aunt who was going through cancer as well but she passed last fall, I just feel so alone and depressed.  Now at my last checkup with my oncologist my right ovary is enlarged and needs to investigated further.  My CA125 is coming back fine, I am so scared to relive my nightmare all over again, I do not know how I should even be feeling right now :(.

Lou Ann M's picture
Lou Ann M
Posts: 996
Joined: Feb 2015

glad you found us, but sad that you had to this is a good place to be for encouragement and information.  Also a good place to just vent when you need to.  We all have emotions that go kind of wacky in times of stress and cancer is one big stress.  Sorry you don't have many family members to talk to.  My family  and freinds have been my biggest support system. some cancer centers have support groups that give support .  There may be people at our local church that you could reach out to.  You can always come here. Read ask questions and we will always be here for you.  Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1632
Joined: Jun 2015

Welcome to our team Blue Eyes. Sorry you are having to go through this journey. I'm concerned about you feeling so alone. As Lou Ann said, we are a good place to come to.  Also, have you considered counseling? We all could use a different perspective every once in a while. Cancer is not an easy thing to deal with even with a large support team. So, with you not having family to help you through it, maybe a counselor could?

I hope this scare turns out to be nothing for you. But if it is cancer, you will find the courage and strength to fight and win! Please come back with any and all questions. And, let us know how you are doing.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

Gardena
Posts: 102
Joined: Jan 2016

Cancer takes an emotional toll on us. Our bodies get beaten down w treatment and we spend timing healing and regaining physical strength, and in doing so, sometimes our emotional needs are not addressed or met. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, and I'm so very glad you stopped by here to chat. I wish I could find you out in the world and make you a cup of tea and listen to everything you need to say, to help you process what you're feeling. In this scary time please do something nice for yourself, maybe buy a pot of daffodils or fresh flowers - something that makes you feel like yourself again. The self without the worry of cancer, because you are still YOU. You are not the disease. 

That you reached out when feeling alone and depressed makes me believe youre going to weather this emotional storm just fine. It breaks my heart you are feeling this way, but I'm here to listen and support you anyway I can. If I can be of help, I want to be. No one shld go thru this journey alone. I for one am walking with you. You hang in there and try to be kind to yourself. Now lets have that cup of tea. :-)

Gardena

 

Donswife48
Posts: 326
Joined: Nov 2015

I know the feeling about being overwhelmed at times.  I look to the doctors to tell me what I need to know, and I don't speculate on the what if's (you know what if it's back).  Not all of us will recurr and even if I do, I remain confident in my doctors ability to handle it in the best treatment.  Hugs Nancy

NYgurl
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2016

This site is new to me.  I have loving, caring, family and friends who support me 100%.  They keep telling me how proud they are of me because of how I dealt with the illness and treatments and I felt like I had to keep on being strong for them, meanwhile I am so very scared inside.  I come here to gain inner strength.   Everyone's journey may not be exact, but it is our own burden to deal with.  We need support from each other, who else knows what we are really going through but others who have walked the same road. Please know you are not alone. 

Editgrl's picture
Editgrl
Posts: 903
Joined: Jun 2015

It's tough... cancer does do a number on our emotions as well as our bodies.  It's good that you have weathered the storm so far, but I understand the need to be able to just vent or talk or be with someone who understands.  This board provides a great opportunity for that, and I hope we can help you feel so not alone.  You can also contact any of us through CSN email as well, if you prefer a more private venue.

If you feel you want more of a one on one immediate connection, consider contacting Imerman Angels, http://imermanangels.org/  

They match you with a mentor, a cancer survivor who is similar in age and had the same cancer.

I see that you've also connected with the Ovarian Cancer board, and I'm sure those ladies will welcome you as well.  

Right now, just try to breathe.  If your CA125 was a good marker for you, and it's coming back fine, try to relax a bit.  There could be other, non-cancer reasons for an enlarged ovary.  And if it is cancer, there are others here who have gone through recurrences and can help you get through it, too.  You are not alone, Blueeyes.

Chris

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1400
Joined: Oct 2015

I am so sorry you're having to go through this (((BlueEyes))).  I cannot imagine going through this at 36.  It's hard enough being an old lady and having cancer much less being a young woman.  You've come to the right place if you're looking for women who understand what you're going through.  As Cindi said, we are a team here!!  Welcome to the team.

Love,

Eldri

BabyCoach's picture
BabyCoach
Posts: 95
Joined: Mar 2016

There's a sparkle in a girl who tags herself "blue eyes". Maybe the spark is hidden under all the depression but it is there somewhere. Your last words - that you don't even know how you should be feeling right now - are notable. Ythere is no "should" about it. You are feeling what you are feeling! And all us us have shsted some of what you are feeling. This has been a hard year for you. And now another Possible blow.  The good news is that you have found us - sisters who share your fears. The bad news is that we share them from a distance, only with words, and figurative (( )) hugs. Ask your oncologist office for a contact person for more personal support. We are everywhere. Do that for yourself and stay in touch. I find tremendous support through the words of this group. But real hugs are important too. 

blueeyes36
Posts: 4
Joined: Dec 2015

Thank you all so very much for the warm thoughts and prayers.  I truly felt like I was at wit's end, and just treading in place.  My husband has been a wonderful supporter and caregiver, but there is definitely a side to this beast that only someone who has walked in the shoes can understand.  It does relieve some anxiety knowing I have all you wonderful ladies to talk to, to vent it out and know that how I feel at that moment is perfectly normal.  I am so greatful to have found this place, this has given me an sign of inner peace I haven't felt for a while, a sense of belonging.  Thank you all :)

molimoli
Posts: 514
Joined: Aug 2014

We are your been there done that sisters,We are hugging.  The loneliness, the panic and the fear will subside with time ,in the mean-time stay strong and courageous my sister .Read old post and see how strong you will become.

Thanks for letting us know that you are stumbling , just imagine us there in spirit breaking your fall and hugging you ,tight,tight,tight. If you can find and keep peace of mind , your battle will be half won. Stay focussed and reject  depression it comes with nothing good.

Moli -hugging.

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1400
Joined: Oct 2015

(((BlueEyes))) we're here for you.  I really never thought of this as a place of belonging, but it sure is.  NOBODY wants to join but once you're here, you're safe and loved and we know EXACTLY what you're going through because we've all gone through it.

Love,

Eldri

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