colon cancer with mets to liver and lungs

my dad age 58 has just been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with mets to his liver and lungs. we are all in shock of course but also very confused. he has done 10 treatments of radiation and they say they wont do chemotherpy because his liver is to bad. the confusion is that the radiation was only done on his chest not liver. and they say that his liver needs to heal but how does his liver heal with no treatment. the doctors are not giving us any answers or any hope. they basically just sent my dad home and said good luck. has anyone on here been through this and do you have any advise.

Comments

  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122
    Advice?

    Advice?

    The best advice is to seek an opinion from a different physician that is NOT of the same group or organization as the present physician.

    The Liver can regenrate itself, unlike any other organ. The lung tissue can be repaired. Radiation is damaging to every cell near the target, while chemical therapy may not be.

    Each and every patient if different and each can demand a totally different therapy. That is the reason that other opinions should be heard and understood.

    No diagnosis or prognosis should be arbitrarily accepted. Ask and get other opinions regarding care and treatments!!

    Best hopes for best health!

    John

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478
    Sorry, I have no advice or

    Sorry, I have no advice or experience. I'm sure someone on here will. It sounds like an odd treatment/non treatment. I agree about seeking a second opinion. Good luck and welcome.

    Jan

  • Sue_2015
    Sue_2015 Member Posts: 19
    Hopefully you can get a 2nd opinion?

    So sorry for your dad and this situation you are in.  What do they mean his liver is so bad and needs to heal?  Did they treat the colon cancer?  How many mets are in his liver and lungs?  Are they saying he has some additional liver disease (such as cirrhosis, etc.) 

    I hope you can get a 2nd opinion from doctors NOT in the same network as the current ones.  They've left you with too many unanswered questions!  Have you been there with him at all his appointments? 

    Sending best wishes and please keep us informed.

    Sue

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,207 Member
    Get other opinions right

    Get other opinions right away, and grill the current doctors on what they are saying, you have a right to understand how they are and aren't treating your father, and why.................................Dave

  • lucky757you
    lucky757you Member Posts: 6
    so my father was admitted to

    so my father was admitted to hospital on Friday with complications. he was having a hard time swallowing rushed to ER to find that the tumor in his chest was now pressing against his esophagus making it hard for him to swallow. i live in cali him in kansas i jumped on the first plane to be with him. today wednesday they put a port-a-cath in his chest. i guess we are going to try chemo now. this was the first time i've seen him since his diagnosis 3 weeks ago. my father has lost well over 40 lbs and his liver has his eyes, skin, and urine dark yellow. when i saw this i just wanted to cry. but i had to be strong for him. his bilirubin levels are extremely high. he can barely walk, he has a walker and a cane. two months ago my father was in cali visiting we went to the safari park, went on a one day fishing trip in the open waters, 4 weeks ago he was working in a warehouse loading semi-trucks 6 months ago he was driving semi-trucks. im sorry for rambling but how does someone deteriorate so fast. im so confused. he did go get a second opinion at KU Cancer Center and was told the same thing no chemo. well im glad someone had a change of heart. thing is the cancer probably wont kill him, looks like the liver will. but the DRs wont or cant do anything with his liver. smh

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,626 Member

    so my father was admitted to

    so my father was admitted to hospital on Friday with complications. he was having a hard time swallowing rushed to ER to find that the tumor in his chest was now pressing against his esophagus making it hard for him to swallow. i live in cali him in kansas i jumped on the first plane to be with him. today wednesday they put a port-a-cath in his chest. i guess we are going to try chemo now. this was the first time i've seen him since his diagnosis 3 weeks ago. my father has lost well over 40 lbs and his liver has his eyes, skin, and urine dark yellow. when i saw this i just wanted to cry. but i had to be strong for him. his bilirubin levels are extremely high. he can barely walk, he has a walker and a cane. two months ago my father was in cali visiting we went to the safari park, went on a one day fishing trip in the open waters, 4 weeks ago he was working in a warehouse loading semi-trucks 6 months ago he was driving semi-trucks. im sorry for rambling but how does someone deteriorate so fast. im so confused. he did go get a second opinion at KU Cancer Center and was told the same thing no chemo. well im glad someone had a change of heart. thing is the cancer probably wont kill him, looks like the liver will. but the DRs wont or cant do anything with his liver. smh

    Please, do not apologize

    The forum is here for you to ramble, to explode, to expound, to weep, wail and gnash your teeth. Its here for everything you are experiencing, and we are here to listen. 

    I am so very sorry to read your post and hear your anguish. They call Cancer 'The silent killer' and often that is the case. It grows and we are unaware, sometimes until it is too late to treat. 

    I can't lie, your father's situation sounds quite dire, but be strong, its really not over until its over, and many people are responding to treatments. I pray that your father is one of them. It sounds like he has been a strong, hard working man, and that goes in his favour. 

    Again, I pray that your dad has a great response to the chemo. 

    Trubrit

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,207 Member
    Liver failure can take a

    Liver failure can take a strong man down in a matter of weeks, I've seen it twice with friends of mine, one from booze, one from hepatitis C. It sounds like the docs are choosing to take chances with chemo, since after 10 radiation treatments, your pop's chest tumor seems to be growing. I'm sorry things are happening so fast, they clearly need his liver to get stronger to be able to treat his cancer aggressively. My thoughts are with you and your dad, and my hopes that they figure out an effective treatment.................................................Dave

  • lucky757you
    lucky757you Member Posts: 6
    OK so I had to leave my dad

    OK so I had to leave my dad and return to Cali to get back to work. So looks like he will start chemo next week. Which I think is great. But I dont know what to think right now. OK so my dad told us kids that he had stage 4 with mets to liver and lungs, but when I took him to go see his primary care doctor I happened to look over his shoulder at my dads file....its said sarcoma of the liver sarcoma of the lungs sarcoma of the brain sarcoma of the bones.as soon As I read that my mind just went crazy. Things are WORSE then I thought. I'm at a loss for words..all I can think about is losing my father. I cry for him and I cry for my family. I can't imagine what is going through his head. What do you do when doctors tell you that you have six months to live. All he does is sleep. I'm so afraid he has given up. He says he is going to fight but he has stopped eating "because he is bloated" he takes his meds for a back injury and goes to sleep....I know this is weighing heavy on him I just dont know what to do to help him

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,207 Member

    OK so I had to leave my dad

    OK so I had to leave my dad and return to Cali to get back to work. So looks like he will start chemo next week. Which I think is great. But I dont know what to think right now. OK so my dad told us kids that he had stage 4 with mets to liver and lungs, but when I took him to go see his primary care doctor I happened to look over his shoulder at my dads file....its said sarcoma of the liver sarcoma of the lungs sarcoma of the brain sarcoma of the bones.as soon As I read that my mind just went crazy. Things are WORSE then I thought. I'm at a loss for words..all I can think about is losing my father. I cry for him and I cry for my family. I can't imagine what is going through his head. What do you do when doctors tell you that you have six months to live. All he does is sleep. I'm so afraid he has given up. He says he is going to fight but he has stopped eating "because he is bloated" he takes his meds for a back injury and goes to sleep....I know this is weighing heavy on him I just dont know what to do to help him

    He's likely depressed and in

    He's likely depressed and in a very lonely place. Sarcoma is a rare kind of cancer, and his is spread wide, so now it's waiting to see what the chemo can do. Meanwhile, all you can do is try to talk to him, and listen, educate yourself about his cancer, hope for a break, and love him..........................................Dave

  • lucky757you
    lucky757you Member Posts: 6

    He's likely depressed and in

    He's likely depressed and in a very lonely place. Sarcoma is a rare kind of cancer, and his is spread wide, so now it's waiting to see what the chemo can do. Meanwhile, all you can do is try to talk to him, and listen, educate yourself about his cancer, hope for a break, and love him..........................................Dave

    Thanks dave

    Thanks dave

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,626 Member

    OK so I had to leave my dad

    OK so I had to leave my dad and return to Cali to get back to work. So looks like he will start chemo next week. Which I think is great. But I dont know what to think right now. OK so my dad told us kids that he had stage 4 with mets to liver and lungs, but when I took him to go see his primary care doctor I happened to look over his shoulder at my dads file....its said sarcoma of the liver sarcoma of the lungs sarcoma of the brain sarcoma of the bones.as soon As I read that my mind just went crazy. Things are WORSE then I thought. I'm at a loss for words..all I can think about is losing my father. I cry for him and I cry for my family. I can't imagine what is going through his head. What do you do when doctors tell you that you have six months to live. All he does is sleep. I'm so afraid he has given up. He says he is going to fight but he has stopped eating "because he is bloated" he takes his meds for a back injury and goes to sleep....I know this is weighing heavy on him I just dont know what to do to help him

    Dear Forum friend

    This is sad news indeed. 

    Let him sleep. Let him slip away if that is his wish. Please don't make him feel that he has to fight for you or for others. At this point, chemo will only buy him a little more time, and one has to wonder if it is worth the horrors that side effects can bring. 

    I hate to be so blunt. I have watched others fight because their loved ones couldn't bare to see them leave, and it was a painful battle to the end. 

    Blessings! 

    Trubrit

  • lucky757you
    lucky757you Member Posts: 6
    Prayers are needed

    My dad is now on hospice...Tuesday morning he was admitted to the ICU. I jump on plane again and flew to be by his side. I stayed with him during the night. He woke up in pain and I had to be strong and ask him what he wanted. It was really hard for him to tell me but after about an hour he told me he didn't want to be in pain anymore and that he was ready...so I had to tell my family his wishes and the doctors. We waited a couple hours so that my sister and brother could be there with him for awhile. 2 hours later he was placed on a morphine drip. 

    Even though asking my dad what he wanted was the hardest thing to do thus far I had to do it..its what he wants and of course I dont want him in pain anymore..it has been three days now and we have had to up his dosage three times because he wakes up in pain...this was the point of putting him on the drip...why is he still in pain...we have all told him that's it is OK to let go and go to GOD...but I think he is holding on till my oldest sister and niece get here on Monday. Please pray for NO MORE PAIN for my dad...NO MORE SUFFERING.

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478

    Prayers are needed

    My dad is now on hospice...Tuesday morning he was admitted to the ICU. I jump on plane again and flew to be by his side. I stayed with him during the night. He woke up in pain and I had to be strong and ask him what he wanted. It was really hard for him to tell me but after about an hour he told me he didn't want to be in pain anymore and that he was ready...so I had to tell my family his wishes and the doctors. We waited a couple hours so that my sister and brother could be there with him for awhile. 2 hours later he was placed on a morphine drip. 

    Even though asking my dad what he wanted was the hardest thing to do thus far I had to do it..its what he wants and of course I dont want him in pain anymore..it has been three days now and we have had to up his dosage three times because he wakes up in pain...this was the point of putting him on the drip...why is he still in pain...we have all told him that's it is OK to let go and go to GOD...but I think he is holding on till my oldest sister and niece get here on Monday. Please pray for NO MORE PAIN for my dad...NO MORE SUFFERING.

    You got it. It's just the

    You got it. It's just the worst thing in the world when a loved one is to the point where that's all you can pray for. I remember that with my when she had cancer. I'm so sorry for you all. My heart goes out to you. I wish there were some magical words that would help but there are none. Hugs.

    Jan

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,207 Member

    Prayers are needed

    My dad is now on hospice...Tuesday morning he was admitted to the ICU. I jump on plane again and flew to be by his side. I stayed with him during the night. He woke up in pain and I had to be strong and ask him what he wanted. It was really hard for him to tell me but after about an hour he told me he didn't want to be in pain anymore and that he was ready...so I had to tell my family his wishes and the doctors. We waited a couple hours so that my sister and brother could be there with him for awhile. 2 hours later he was placed on a morphine drip. 

    Even though asking my dad what he wanted was the hardest thing to do thus far I had to do it..its what he wants and of course I dont want him in pain anymore..it has been three days now and we have had to up his dosage three times because he wakes up in pain...this was the point of putting him on the drip...why is he still in pain...we have all told him that's it is OK to let go and go to GOD...but I think he is holding on till my oldest sister and niece get here on Monday. Please pray for NO MORE PAIN for my dad...NO MORE SUFFERING.

    That's one advantage of being

    That's one advantage of being the caregiver and having my wife do hospice at home, I gave her liquid morphine at the first indication of pain, instead of having to light a fire under some nurse, or beg someone to respond. Hospitals are instinctively conservative with pain meds, even with terminal patients. I'm sorry your pop has to suffer at all, at the point he's at, no one should. You have my thoughts for a peaceful passing for your father.........................................Dave

  • lucky757you
    lucky757you Member Posts: 6
    My father passed on Monday

    My father passed on Monday April 18th...two hours after my sister and niece arrived. Everyone had gotten there Friday and they were the last to make it. Everyday I told my father they were coming he held on till they did. My dad tried to be slick though...my sister,brother and myself went to the cafeteria to grab some food and my dad let go....we got back to the room just as he stop breathing for. 5 seconds maybe and then I believe he tried to come back he took three breaths and he passed away in our arms my dad is by far the strongest man I know and he will always be my hero. I love u dad and I will see u again one day....say hi to grandpa and unlce Chris for me... This is not good bye its see you later....

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478

    My father passed on Monday

    My father passed on Monday April 18th...two hours after my sister and niece arrived. Everyone had gotten there Friday and they were the last to make it. Everyday I told my father they were coming he held on till they did. My dad tried to be slick though...my sister,brother and myself went to the cafeteria to grab some food and my dad let go....we got back to the room just as he stop breathing for. 5 seconds maybe and then I believe he tried to come back he took three breaths and he passed away in our arms my dad is by far the strongest man I know and he will always be my hero. I love u dad and I will see u again one day....say hi to grandpa and unlce Chris for me... This is not good bye its see you later....

    I'm so, so sorry. I wish I

    I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug but all I can give is a virtual hug. My heart goes out to you and your family.

    Jan

  • lizard44
    lizard44 Member Posts: 409

    My father passed on Monday

    My father passed on Monday April 18th...two hours after my sister and niece arrived. Everyone had gotten there Friday and they were the last to make it. Everyday I told my father they were coming he held on till they did. My dad tried to be slick though...my sister,brother and myself went to the cafeteria to grab some food and my dad let go....we got back to the room just as he stop breathing for. 5 seconds maybe and then I believe he tried to come back he took three breaths and he passed away in our arms my dad is by far the strongest man I know and he will always be my hero. I love u dad and I will see u again one day....say hi to grandpa and unlce Chris for me... This is not good bye its see you later....

    So sorry

    So sorry for your loss, but glad that your dad was able to hold on until your sister and niece arrived and that you were all there together  when he passed. I know you will miss him.  Allow yourself time to grieve on your own schedule and in your own way. You may experience bouts of sadness, anger, and frustration and  you may feel exhausted at times. Be sure to take care of yourself by eating well and getting the rest you need.  Take it one day at a time as you move forward. Cherish the  happy memories you had with him and of him.

    Grace/lizard44

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,207 Member
    In January, my pop was

    In January, my pop was unconcious with labored breathing and my sister held her Iphone to his ear with some music he liked, and his breathing got quiet, like he was listening. After a while his breaths got spaced out until he just stopped, it seemed very peaceful, and made the transition easier for us, his kids. Sorry for the loss of your dad, but he's at peace, in a place we're all going to,in due time..................................................Dave