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Letting go of my pride

d.mccoy11
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2016

Hello everyone. This is my first post, so I hope you can bear with me. I've been battling lung cancer for the past several years now. The sad part of it is that I've had to do it all by myself, without any sort of support system.

I'm blessed to have made it this far, but along the way, I had to develop this ridiculous sense of pride and stubbornness to keep myself alive (That's what I felt had to happen anyway). It's always just been me. That is until recently. I met this incredible woman. One that has accepted me for who I am, supports what I'm going through, and is someone I continue to fall in love with more and more each day. She's perfect in my eyes. She's my hero, and I look up to her. I wouldn't be around if not for her. I sincerely believe that.

My problem comes in with my pride. All of a sudden I have this amazing woman in my life that's there for me, willing to love and take care of me. So I have no need to be the hard nose, stubborn individual that I felt like I used to be. What can I do to let go of that pride, to stop being scared that she'll leave me for not being superman right now, to stop giving her half truths about things due to my being scared of letting her down, and let her know that I'm so sorry for being the way I have been? 

I didn't know where else to turn. Actually, this is the first time I've ever tried to really talk about regular life stuff with people going through the same thing as me. I really do appreciate any advice that is given. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

dennycee
Posts: 836
Joined: Mar 2011

Wow!  This is such a wonderful turn of events for you.   The thing to do is tell her what you are thinking or what you fear.  If you are not comfortable initiating that conversation ask her to read what you have written here.   These are the kind of things you need to discuss in any relationship and especially important in light of all you deal with after a cancer diagnosis.   She will let you know if she can cope with it or not.  

 

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