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Last scheduled chemo

Sal0101's picture
Sal0101
Posts: 132
Joined: Sep 2015

Hi All,

My last scheduled chemo is Tuesday, two weeks after that is my last methotrexate treatment. One part of me wants to jump with joy, the other part of me is nervously waiting for what is next!  I'll have a PET a few weeks after my final treatment which should give some insight on what's going on.  I did have 2 CT scans during treatment, the last was as they say "unremarkable". Do we ever stop worrying?  How do you move on without worrying about relapse?  

Kaniksu
Posts: 54
Joined: Nov 2015

so happy you are finishing ..Geeze I wish I knew how to address your worrying...I think maybe if we worry so much we forget to live..let's try living and making every day a day we can share love with our family and friends...I think at first I just didn't realize how life threatening this can be..its started to sink in the past few days..got me a little down...so tomorrow I'm putting on my warm clothes on and taking my dog for a walk by the lake!..ill keep my fingers crossed...I just hate that word unremarkable! Take care.Nancy

lindary's picture
lindary
Posts: 695
Joined: Mar 2015

My boss is a 9 year survivor of nasty, rare type of breast cancer. She is very involved at work and in veteran groups. A few months ago she had a dentist appt and they said something about scheduling a test to make sure a spot in her mouth wasn't cancer. She was worried. Her comment was "you don't casually tell a cancer survivor that a spot in their mouth could be cancer.". Fortunately it wasn't but she was emotional for several days, until the results came back. 

So do you ever stop worrying, I don't believe you do. I think it is like any major change in ones life. At first you often think back to how things were "before". As time goes on you think less of how things were "before"and more about how things are "now". How long this takes probably depends on the individual, although if a person gets stuck on the "before" for a year or more I would think that is an indication they need some professional help. (FYI - we have a family member who is in this last category.) 

My own situation is in the middle. Chemo done, PET/CT scans show cancer in remission. However, I am scheduled for Stem Cell transplant because it was lymphoma that took 2 types of chemo to beat back and I also have MDS (abnormal t-cells that can develop into leukemia). So I am done yet. (No hip-hip-hooray moment.) Do I ever worry that those abnormal cells could be changing even now or that the lymphoma has decided to rear it's ugly head even though it shouldn't?  Yes. I can't forget it since I still have no hair but I don't let it rule my life. 

I would say that if you don't exactly feel like celebrating yet, don't be concerned. I will guess that there will be a point whne you do feel lke celebrating. Just have a plan in place for how you want to celebrate. 

Rocquie's picture
Rocquie
Posts: 839
Joined: Mar 2013

Sal, congratulations on being almost finished with your treatments. I understand your mixed feelings of jumping for joy mixed with trepidation. 

I have heard many people expressing the same feelings. I experience them myself. It seems one part of it comes from moving from active treatment when you were being looked after, cared for, made to feel safe. Suddenly you are on your own. It's frightening. Fear of relapse seems to be very real and universal. 

I am almost a year out of treatment and have finally stopped worrying about it. Every twinge, stomach ache, cough, no longer frightens me. I am learning my body again. I finally came to the point where I realized that if it came back, we would deal with it, meanwhile no need to waste my time worring. You will get there too.

Here is an article from the National Cancer Institute you may find helpful: Survivorship. (Clickable link.)

Best,

Rocquie

 

Max Former Hodgkins Stage 3's picture
Max Former Hodg...
Posts: 3518
Joined: May 2012

I'm thankful you are finished with treatment, Sal.

Bluntly: I do not think relapse anxiety ever ends for most patients.  Undoubtedly some do cease worrying.   Worry mitigates, and becomes less and less as the years pass, but my impression is that it never completely leaves us. Just my honest read of the situation.

max

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