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Scared....

Natashav2003's picture
Natashav2003
Posts: 3
Joined: Nov 2015

Hi all, im sure you regulars are tired of the tired of the scared newbies, I apologize but im about to make yet another post about being scared $#!tless. August 2014 I was diagnosed ultrasound and CT scan with a borderline enlarged spleen (approx. 13.4 cm) and fatty liver after complaining of pain under my ribs. My doctor didn't seem concerned, no follow ups were scheduled. Now in October of 2015 t my last yearly physical I tell her that I still have the spleen pain so she orders another ultrasound which shows slightly enlarged fatty liver and enlarged spleen (approx. 141 cm) and now suddenly she is concerned! She ordered new blood work including all kinds of fancy tests that had to go up to Mayo for testing including a smear to look for the scary stuff. All resuts came back ok and she said se was encouraged by the results and no longer was concerned with a cancer since the results did not suggest a presence of cancer like lymphoma or leukemia. I was SO relieved after a month of fear and tears but she said she wanted to refer me to a hematologist/oncologist anyway just to see if we needed to look somewhere else but again assured me that she wasn't suspecting any cancer. So today I see the specialist and right out of the gate she starts spouting off all kinds of CT scans and bone scans and marrow biopsies! I ask why is focusing on cancer diagnosis tests when my smear didn't show any "funky" as my doctor called them, cells and didn't indicate a presence of cancer and she just replied that those tests are not definitive and even though she didn't feel ay palpable surface nodes and that my blood work is good, she still wants these tests! Now I have to wait even longer while they wait for my insurance to give the ok for those tests, my primary doc could have got the scan done in a day! Now my few days of relief from the fear an tears are over....right back to anxiety, anger, sadness and to be blunt, just plain pissed. Anybody had this kind of situation, outcomes? Im really scared now!!!

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5221
Joined: Jan 2013

We've all been the scared newbie, and the reason many of us are still here is to give support to every newbie who sadly has been diagnosed.  And to let you know that, even though it feels like the end of the world, its not. 

I'm jumping forums looking for our weekend troll, but couldn't resist replying to your post. 

Now I will let someone else who belongs on this forum (I'm from the Colorectal), take over. 

Sue - Trubrit

OO7's picture
OO7
Posts: 282
Joined: Sep 2014

Your Doctor is doing her job.  This is a  group where it's best to find out sooner verses later and if it's nothing,  HAPPY  DANCE for you!!!  If not deal with that when it's confirmed, most likely after biopsy.  At least that's what happened to me then later my dad.

May I ask,do you have any other symptoms?

I will be brief.  I have always been in amazing health.  My family doctor was NOT in favor of my biopsy.  Everything, including blood work looked fine.  Except for a large node in my neck.  Still he thought it wasn't nessary.  One doctor didn't accept all my excuses for my systems.  He knew, biopsy confirmed it with in a week.

I'm wishing happy dance for you and I'm glad your doctor is doing her job so you can do what is necessary to live a long a happy life!!!!!!

 

Hugs 

 

 

Natashav2003's picture
Natashav2003
Posts: 3
Joined: Nov 2015

I dont exactly have the "classic" symptoms. No enlarged nodes, none visible or palpable anyway, no night sweats, no extreme fatigue. I do have fatigue, i just chalked it up to not enough sleep, being 42 and having a 3 year old lol. I am itchy as all getout right now, i get itchy fits every so often like maybe once every couple weeks but i have read that the itch is not very common and even less common in non hidgkins. My spleen is enlarged and liver slightly enlarged and fatty. My primary doc said she is no longer suspecting cancer but just wanted me to see the oncologist anyway.or maybe she was lying and just didnt want toworry me? Hmmm....well anyway, teh oncologist agreed that cancer wasnt "likley", her words, because i dont have the nodes, sweats etc but she still sure is pushing for every damn test on the planet to confirm it lol. Im scared, super scared! Not the healthiest of folks, im morbidly obese, extreme anxiety, chronic nausea, headaches etc for many many years so im afraid that im not healthy or fit enough to handle treatment BUT i have three babies, pretty young babies and ill be damned if im leaving them anytime soon sooooo....it is what it is i suppose but im still angry as hell....

OO7's picture
OO7
Posts: 282
Joined: Sep 2014

I understand being scared and even angry.  If I may suggest, congratulate yourself for what your doing right.  You're seeing all the right doctors and doing all that you can to live a long and happy life.  Don't stress too much for that Contributes to all sorts of problems.  Take one day at a time and move forward.

I will hope and pray all will be well, keep us posted and I'm happy to help with any questions along the way.  I saw this today and thought I would share it with you. 

 

http://www.businessinsider.com/a-neuroscience-researcher-reveals-4-rituals-that-will-make-you-a-happier-person-2015-9

lindary's picture
lindary
Posts: 695
Joined: Mar 2015

Like you I did not have the classic symptoms either. Fatigue was credited to thyoid problems which I was already taking meds for but needed adjustment. No visible enlarged nodes, organs were proper size, no itching like you have had. I told my dr I was having some odd constipation problems which resulted in her checking my abdomen and she felt the tumor in the abdomen. The word cancer did not come up until the first CT scan came back and she sent me for a biopsy. 

From all I've read online and here, lymphoma can be sneaky. For some it can move through their system without causing a blip. Then others it wrecks havoc on their body. Of course most people are somewhere in between. My guess is that with your symptoms they just want to start by ruling things out and cancer is the first one they are testing for. Some of those test can show other problems so it is not a bad idea to have them. When they did my first CT scan it was discovered I also had pluerisy. 

Scared, I don't blame you. Not healthy, that's me too. My claim to changing to a healthy lifestyle was giving up drinks sodas when I was diagnosed with IBS in 1999. My exercise routine is my walk from my car to the building I work in to my desk. Don't have nausea or headaches but IBS has it's own set of tricks. Anxiety, nope but I started practicing yoga breathing exercises back in college. It's easy to do and given the situation right now, I think it could really help you to reduce the anxiety.

Here are a couple of site: http://www.yogajournal.com/category/poses/types/pranayama/

http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/pranayama/

Good luck and I hope the tests come back with good news. 

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