Express yourself

foxhd
foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member

As most know by now, I am pretty far removed from nephrectomy and it's issues. Unless I am asked for my opinion, I leave those topics to newer people with more recent experiences. I concentrate on living in the present and only make short term plans and set short term goals. Time makes accepting what has happened and what will happen easier to handle. This is no fear of death. But I'm not nearly ready and I have worked extremely hard to prosper and overcome everything that renal ca has thrown at me. ...There is a Star Trek episode where Data realizes that he can not beat an opponet at some game they are playing. So he changes his approach and plays not to win but to not lose. Thereby a stalemate(sp?) in effect makes the other guy unable to be a winner. A draw is the goal and that makes Data essentially the winner. In our game if we are not ever going to be NED then stability is the goal. Kind of the same thing.

I bring this up because we need to celebrate being alive and overcoming what has been thrown at us. The sun rises every morning and we love and are loved by others. We need to count our blessings. There is no time for discouragement or depression. There are people to see, places to go and things to do. We share our prayers and karma. The more of that that we give away, the more there is coming around.

Newbies have lots of questions and need hand holding and encouragement. Soon a time comes when they are holding others hands and returning the favors. Nice. I post this because life is good. Coping becomes a skill. At least at this moment we are all survivors. I thought that maybe people would like to discuss  less gloom and doom and share some heart warming stories. We are here to listen. We have positive things in common. For me, the "Summer of Fox" has been a reality. No one (including me)  ever expected me to be alive. The "Poster Boy" lives.  We do this together. Thank you for your support and faith in my effort. How about some of you? Has anyone won a lottery or heard a good joke? Express yourself. No self pity stories to be posted here. Gallows humor is more than acceptable. FLY!

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Comments

  • aamdsi
    aamdsi Member Posts: 284
    good news

    Haven't been on here in awhile - been living the summer! 8-)  But my yearly scan is this coming Tues. so thought would check back.

    Anyway, during my wonderful summer I learned that I am to become Mimi to another wee one!  A Feburary appearance for this one.  If just life itself ain't worht living for - Grandkids are.

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,022 Member
    aamdsi said:

    good news

    Haven't been on here in awhile - been living the summer! 8-)  But my yearly scan is this coming Tues. so thought would check back.

    Anyway, during my wonderful summer I learned that I am to become Mimi to another wee one!  A Feburary appearance for this one.  If just life itself ain't worht living for - Grandkids are.

    Good luck with coming scans

    Good luck with coming scans and congrats on future grandkid! :-)

    Fox, what a wonderful idea!

    My biggest good news were already posted last week ( partner's undetectable hepatitis C after treatment). Other good news to share - our Alice was 4 months old this Sunday, and reached new milestones recently like rolling to her side, trying to sit up and reaching/holding toys :-) She is becoming more and more interesting to spend time with, and we love her more and more. 

    Autumn has come, and as we live in a small resort town at the Baltic sea, finally summer tourists went away. Seaside is calm and empty, and it is a great pleasure to take a walk with Alice in a stroller on a cloudy day on a beach, to drop into cosy restaurant for something tasty... It is cold already, so iit is time for small cold weather  pleasures again - to start lighting candles at dinner, to switch from white wine to red, to take hot baths... Life is really good! 

    So hurrah to Summer of Fox, and let's make it "Year of Fox"! :-)

  • sblairc
    sblairc Member Posts: 585 Member
    Concert tickets and ski trip

    My husband won VIP tickets to Garth Brooks sitting with local sports radio personalities and attending a VIP party!!! It's after his upcoming scans, but as they say "The show must go on"

    We also booked a ski trip in December. Also after his upcoming scans. This was a milestone for me since I avoid any and all planning until after his scans. Didn't blink an eye this time, just told him to BOOK IT!!!

     

    LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

  • jason.2835
    jason.2835 Member Posts: 337 Member
    Beautiful, man

    Fox,

    This is a beautiful sentiment, my friend.  It shows the newbies that there is, indeed, a FUTURE AFTER CANCER... Even advanced disease.  It's hard not to wallow in self-pity, but you taught me very early on after joining this board that every second doing is a WASTED one.  

    For me, it's been hard this past year to really reflect on it.  As a Stage 1 patient, it's easier to count your blessings and move on.  Not in the "forget about it" sense, but in the "get back to living" sense.  My first 6-month follow up was less than 2 weeks after my open gallbladder surgery, so that took up some time.  Then we found out we were pregnant and that has taken up the rest up to now.  I haven't had time to wallow.  

    But I still think that this forum will always be a "transition" for most people.  I stay because I like keeping up on everyone and everything in the world of RCC.  But most will get their information and then either forget about it or just leave.  And that's ok.  Everyone deals differently.  I think the negative sentiments have to do with the fear that a lot of new patients feel.  The issue is that they don't STAY on here and report the GOOD things once it's over... So I think 75% of the forum will ALWAYS be "HELP!" posts with little or no follow up.

    - Jay

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member

    Beautiful, man

    Fox,

    This is a beautiful sentiment, my friend.  It shows the newbies that there is, indeed, a FUTURE AFTER CANCER... Even advanced disease.  It's hard not to wallow in self-pity, but you taught me very early on after joining this board that every second doing is a WASTED one.  

    For me, it's been hard this past year to really reflect on it.  As a Stage 1 patient, it's easier to count your blessings and move on.  Not in the "forget about it" sense, but in the "get back to living" sense.  My first 6-month follow up was less than 2 weeks after my open gallbladder surgery, so that took up some time.  Then we found out we were pregnant and that has taken up the rest up to now.  I haven't had time to wallow.  

    But I still think that this forum will always be a "transition" for most people.  I stay because I like keeping up on everyone and everything in the world of RCC.  But most will get their information and then either forget about it or just leave.  And that's ok.  Everyone deals differently.  I think the negative sentiments have to do with the fear that a lot of new patients feel.  The issue is that they don't STAY on here and report the GOOD things once it's over... So I think 75% of the forum will ALWAYS be "HELP!" posts with little or no follow up.

    - Jay

    Jay,

    Good work with it all. Your last statements are 100% correct. You've seen alot here in the last year.

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    foxhd said:

    Jay,

    Good work with it all. Your last statements are 100% correct. You've seen alot here in the last year.

    Oh Foxy, I see you have not

    Oh Foxy, I see you have not lost your sex appeal, sense of humor and love of life!

    I applaud you and your leadership here.

    You've been on my mind of late and now HERE you are again, touching our hearts and challenging our attitudes.

    Many blessings, much life and love in you life!

    This is why I send you a loving HUG, my friend,

    Jan

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    Jan4you said:

    Oh Foxy, I see you have not

    Oh Foxy, I see you have not lost your sex appeal, sense of humor and love of life!

    I applaud you and your leadership here.

    You've been on my mind of late and now HERE you are again, touching our hearts and challenging our attitudes.

    Many blessings, much life and love in you life!

    This is why I send you a loving HUG, my friend,

    Jan

    Great Topic

    Fox, you always say the most articulate and wonderful things. You're not just my hero but role model. Maybe one day I could think like you.

    Jason, what you said is so true. I agree completely. Especially with this:

    “The issue is that they don't STAY on here and report the GOOD things once it's over... So I think 75% of the forum will ALWAYS be "HELP!" posts with little or no follow up.”

  • angec
    angec Member Posts: 924 Member
    A good read, Foxy! You always

    A good read, Foxy! You always have something encouraging to share. Even when you thought you were history, you were encouraging.  Thanks for that! People on these boards need to hear positive things. They need to know that there are times when it looks like it might be the end, only to find out a new treatment is tried and working! Turning things around! There are many new treatments being found too. I think, soon there will be a cure for cancer.  I am not just saying that, it has already been done with some other types like brain and leukemia.  They are on the right track.  I am glad you enjoyed the Summer of Fox, can't wait to see how The Fall of Fox plays out.  Enjoy the warm days! ELF!

     

    Angela

  • a_oaklee
    a_oaklee Member Posts: 566 Member
    difficult times

    Positivity....hmmm...let me think....my husband woke up to another day.  He is still able to walk.  Is feeling a little less pain.  We still have our house, but not for long.   Amen.

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    a_oaklee said:

    difficult times

    Positivity....hmmm...let me think....my husband woke up to another day.  He is still able to walk.  Is feeling a little less pain.  We still have our house, but not for long.   Amen.

    Dr. visit

    ...So this guy goes to his doctor. The doctor tells him, " I've got some bad news and some worse news." First the bad news. "You've got cancer." The guy says,"Then what is the worst news?" His doctor tells him, "You've also got Alzheimers disease." The guy just sits there for a minute and says, "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    foxhd said:

    Dr. visit

    ...So this guy goes to his doctor. The doctor tells him, " I've got some bad news and some worse news." First the bad news. "You've got cancer." The guy says,"Then what is the worst news?" His doctor tells him, "You've also got Alzheimers disease." The guy just sits there for a minute and says, "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

    LOL, I love black humor. That

    LOL, I love black humor. That was good!

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,022 Member
    APny said:

    LOL, I love black humor. That

    LOL, I love black humor. That was good!

    Long live black hmor! Humor

    Long live black hmor! Humor of any type prolongs life, I'm sure of it?

     

    Oaklee, you sound bitter and most probably you have reasons to. Sometimes it is very hard to be positive. So sorry that you are struggling. Please don't be mad at us for fooling around... But sometimes we need to

  • rae_rae
    rae_rae Member Posts: 300 Member
    Allochka said:

    Long live black hmor! Humor

    Long live black hmor! Humor of any type prolongs life, I'm sure of it?

     

    Oaklee, you sound bitter and most probably you have reasons to. Sometimes it is very hard to be positive. So sorry that you are struggling. Please don't be mad at us for fooling around... But sometimes we need to

    Still making lemonade out of lifes lemons

    I still poke my head in every now and then. Oct will be five years since Timmy the tumor was evicted. I have been one of the fortunate ones with no recurrence. A close friend of mine just had a 10 cm tumor removed two weeks ago. I hope my experience helped make hers a bit easier and less to worry about. Life goes on. I have too much living to do to worry about the what if's. Since I came close to death due to sepsis last summer, I've realized we are all going to die of something, someday, so best to keep pushing forward and living, loving and laughing as much as I can!

    Be happy,

    Rae

  • mrou50
    mrou50 Member Posts: 389 Member
    Totally Get It

    So today is my birthday  I woke up thinking how many more is Cancer going to give me and I started to have a pity party.  Than I started getting all of these calls, and notes of facebook, and than I read your post Fox and I thought what the Hell he is right.  I than said hey Cancer didn't give me a birthday my mom and dad did and Cancer doesn't decide how many more I get, I do.  Life is great and turning 51 is awesome, life is a gift and I love the fact that I wake up every morning with the woman I love who is also my best friend, and that I have people that care. Thanks Fox for reminding me that Cancer is just a word and that my attitude is controlled by me an nothing else.  

     

    Mark

  • a_oaklee
    a_oaklee Member Posts: 566 Member
    Allochka said:

    Long live black hmor! Humor

    Long live black hmor! Humor of any type prolongs life, I'm sure of it?

     

    Oaklee, you sound bitter and most probably you have reasons to. Sometimes it is very hard to be positive. So sorry that you are struggling. Please don't be mad at us for fooling around... But sometimes we need to

    Not at all.  My husband and i

    Not at all.  My husband and i both rejoice that he is still here and is able to walk.  Thats a big deal!!!!  He has spinal mets, and lots of hardware in his back.  I wasnt being sarcastic.  We are on the downside of stage 4, and simple things mean alot.  I think most people would take walking for granted, but with a side effect of paralysis with spinal mets its a wonderful day to be walking around!

  • Jan4you
    Jan4you Member Posts: 1,330 Member
    mrou50 said:

    Totally Get It

    So today is my birthday  I woke up thinking how many more is Cancer going to give me and I started to have a pity party.  Than I started getting all of these calls, and notes of facebook, and than I read your post Fox and I thought what the Hell he is right.  I than said hey Cancer didn't give me a birthday my mom and dad did and Cancer doesn't decide how many more I get, I do.  Life is great and turning 51 is awesome, life is a gift and I love the fact that I wake up every morning with the woman I love who is also my best friend, and that I have people that care. Thanks Fox for reminding me that Cancer is just a word and that my attitude is controlled by me an nothing else.  

     

    Mark

    Happy, Happy YOUR day Mark!

    Happy, Happy YOUR day Mark! Many more!!!!!

    Your post was inspiring~

    Hugs, Jan

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,022 Member
    Jan4you said:

    Happy, Happy YOUR day Mark!

    Happy, Happy YOUR day Mark! Many more!!!!!

    Your post was inspiring~

    Hugs, Jan

    Happy birthday! :-)

    Happy birthday! :-)

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    Allochka said:

    Happy birthday! :-)

    Happy birthday! :-)

    Hey Foxy and group.It is

    Hey Foxy and group.

    It is true....be grateful for and focus on our blessings. Our blessings are what get us through our rough patches. Good time to bring this up, Foxy....towards the end of the Summer of Fox....but on to the Autumn of Fox....the Year of Fox!

    Sarah - so glad to hear about your VIP concert (so cool!) and that you felt confident to book a trip! And Happy Birthday Mark! (sorry a day late). Annie Oakley....so glad you are there for your husband and enjoying every moment. There is nothing better than sharing time with your loved ones. Allochka, your husband's news was so wonderful - and give baby Alice a kiss from me.

    I just moved this week. I never want to move again!!! LOL. We downsized, and I am attached to sentimental things (mostly my parents' stuff) but I had to donate a lot of it hoping others can love them too. That was the hardest part, deciding what to part with. But in the end, it is just stuff.  My parents are with me in my heart, and I have a few reminders of them here. We have a cute little place here (and to those of you who have known me a while....will be happy to hear that my hubby is now only smoking outside!!) I am retiring in June and looking forward to being able to spend time with family and friends and hope to travel a bit too!

    It has been Summer of Stress for me, unfortunately...put the house up for sale that I loved dearly, a tree in our backyard fell and crushed our gazebo, just after we sold the house, my hubby's ex-wife served him with papers (she saw our house was for sale and basically felt that she should be entitled to some equity - she self-represented so it cost her only filing costs to do that - just responding to it cost us $2K - and more to come) my workplace (school office) was being renovated and of course renos weren't done on time, so I had to scramble and unpack and try and find things as school is starting, couldn't find a house to move into (they are going like hotcakes here), and ended up finding one while my hubby was out of town for work and he only saw it 2 weeks before we moved in (luckily he likes it). I have been in a lot of pain all summer, and have been investigating it a bit, but not much showing so far (hoping to find time to go to the doctor again)...but wondering if it was stress causing it. But almost all the stressing factors in my life have sorted themselves out. Almost. Hahaha. And I can handle that! I still have a great life, and a terrific family and friends and live with the love of my life. Who can ask for more?

    Sorry for the long post!

    Hugs

    Jojo

     

     

  • aamdsi
    aamdsi Member Posts: 284
    foxhd said:

    Dr. visit

    ...So this guy goes to his doctor. The doctor tells him, " I've got some bad news and some worse news." First the bad news. "You've got cancer." The guy says,"Then what is the worst news?" His doctor tells him, "You've also got Alzheimers disease." The guy just sits there for a minute and says, "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

    hahaha

    Will have to share the joke with my husband...he is proibably the only one in my family to think it's funny.  We hae both lost family members to Alzheimers (his father last year). 

    It does help to look around the other side of the mirror from time to time as see what lies there. 8-)

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,022 Member
    Jojo61 said:

    Hey Foxy and group.It is

    Hey Foxy and group.

    It is true....be grateful for and focus on our blessings. Our blessings are what get us through our rough patches. Good time to bring this up, Foxy....towards the end of the Summer of Fox....but on to the Autumn of Fox....the Year of Fox!

    Sarah - so glad to hear about your VIP concert (so cool!) and that you felt confident to book a trip! And Happy Birthday Mark! (sorry a day late). Annie Oakley....so glad you are there for your husband and enjoying every moment. There is nothing better than sharing time with your loved ones. Allochka, your husband's news was so wonderful - and give baby Alice a kiss from me.

    I just moved this week. I never want to move again!!! LOL. We downsized, and I am attached to sentimental things (mostly my parents' stuff) but I had to donate a lot of it hoping others can love them too. That was the hardest part, deciding what to part with. But in the end, it is just stuff.  My parents are with me in my heart, and I have a few reminders of them here. We have a cute little place here (and to those of you who have known me a while....will be happy to hear that my hubby is now only smoking outside!!) I am retiring in June and looking forward to being able to spend time with family and friends and hope to travel a bit too!

    It has been Summer of Stress for me, unfortunately...put the house up for sale that I loved dearly, a tree in our backyard fell and crushed our gazebo, just after we sold the house, my hubby's ex-wife served him with papers (she saw our house was for sale and basically felt that she should be entitled to some equity - she self-represented so it cost her only filing costs to do that - just responding to it cost us $2K - and more to come) my workplace (school office) was being renovated and of course renos weren't done on time, so I had to scramble and unpack and try and find things as school is starting, couldn't find a house to move into (they are going like hotcakes here), and ended up finding one while my hubby was out of town for work and he only saw it 2 weeks before we moved in (luckily he likes it). I have been in a lot of pain all summer, and have been investigating it a bit, but not much showing so far (hoping to find time to go to the doctor again)...but wondering if it was stress causing it. But almost all the stressing factors in my life have sorted themselves out. Almost. Hahaha. And I can handle that! I still have a great life, and a terrific family and friends and live with the love of my life. Who can ask for more?

    Sorry for the long post!

    Hugs

    Jojo

     

     

    thanks, Jojo, Alice is kissed

    thanks, Jojo, Alice is kissed ! :-) She smiles back :-)

    You've had a lot on your plate this summer... In my life stresses  somehow also come in batches - all unpleasant things happen together.But the positive side is that after that comes much better (and longer ) period of good times. You are definitely heading into one.

    You've mentioned in one of your posts that husband smokes in the house, and it upsets you. So congratulations on big positive change! It's a huge one! But his ex really is a b.... I wonder where such people come from?

    And don't be upset about parting with favorite things - it is hard at first (we did the same recently), but later even the air in the house seems easier to breathe, more space, so you start to enjoy this liberating "cleaning". 

    Sorry for your pain. Is it something unrelated to kidney?