Molimoli Updating.

molimoli
molimoli Member Posts: 514

Hi ladies,I hope this is the start of a blessed, renewed strength week end for all of you. I have read your different journeys and spiritually  travelling with you all.May the goodness and grace of the Creator find you wherever you are.and cause you renewed spirit,renewed health and most of all a certain kind of peace of mind that leaves you mentally free to plot and plan your fight . Life itself is a fight , the reasons and the challenges keeps changing but life picks a fight with your mental state , allways. I wish you Peace of Mind.

To update: I met with my new oncologist, a delightful man, He viewed my file prior to our visit ,knows how I feel re :treatment options, placed only Chemo on the table, said anything at all that they do for me is simply palliative. My fast growing recurrence is troubling for him but surgery is not an option.He said he is going to take the liberty of scheduling Chemo to start Sept. 8th. as we spoke he was putting in his Chemo order.but was doing so in a take charge fatherly way,bless him , I didn't oppose, I didn't agree, I was there to listen with an open mind and that's what I did .He must have sensed that I loved my dad and wished him back from the grave to take charge and comfort me.  I am yet to be convinced that doctors can take all of my God given furnitures out of my pelvis and I stayed  alive , Then an  intruder enters the empty room,setting up house but any attempt to remove this intruder will cause me to be dead. I still don't buy it, mainly because  my tumors are not attached to any organs or vital structures yet,and not as far back in the pelvis as I was made to believe, as per last scan.which I ordered and looked at in details.  Inside of me , I talked without speaking , mostly hugged silence.Didn't want to oppose this kind gentleman who only wants  to help me, but his way.

 

This I voiced, "Can I get scanned ,just to see how many other tumors popped up and how much growth in the 2  existing ones , so that my decision will be based on my current condition and not out of fear of conditions around the bend" He agreed, so I had the scans yesterday. waiting on results.

Also met with my family doctor on Wednesday,She was very happy that l  'promised a decision' as soon as results are in.She feels more stressed in my limbo position than I am. Unknown to her today Friday I made an appointment with a naturopathic doctor for next week, I also confirmed an appointment with a gyne surgeon with 35 years experience. Her condition is that I get the referral letter to her office before my appointment. I dare not ask my doctor for that letter until the scan results are in ,dare not,

I really do suspect that there are other mets but wait with me ,we'll see. Nuff nuff love to you all. I care about us.

 

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Comments

  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,083 Member
    Thanks for the update

    Thanks for the update Moli

    you are thoughtful and caring for the members in this board.  I hope you find the answers you need to make your decision on what to do

    i wish I could say more but I am not thinking clearly as I am tired but I wanted to respond to your post

    my best to you 

    Kathy

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,811 Member
    Moli

    So glad to hear from you. Really appreciate the update. I sure hope the scans give you the answers you seek. And, seeing the surgeon is a great idea. One more opinion is not a bad thing.  I so want you to find the peace you need. Sending you lots of love and hugs Moli.  Love Cindi

  • Abbycat2
    Abbycat2 Member Posts: 644 Member

    Moli

    So glad to hear from you. Really appreciate the update. I sure hope the scans give you the answers you seek. And, seeing the surgeon is a great idea. One more opinion is not a bad thing.  I so want you to find the peace you need. Sending you lots of love and hugs Moli.  Love Cindi

    Sounds like a reasonable plan, moli

    I think your decision to have an MRI to assess whether there are other tumors is a wise choice.  I realize that choosing chemo is a difficult choice for you, especially at a time when you want your daughters to be unaware of your cancer diagnosis. I soon discovered during the 4 plus months that I received chemo how difficult it was to hide my treatments from others, including strangers. I had no hair on my head- eyebrows and eyelashes included and my coloring was off. Emotionally, it was difficult, but I managed to put one foot in front of the other and lived each day the best I could. Not sure why your oncologist thinks surgery is not the treatment choice for you. Could radiation be the answer? I saw a radiologist early on and he told me that radiation would not help me because I didn't have tumors.

    Whatever you decide, moli, know that I am praying for you and for your daughters, as well. 

    With a Big Hug,

    Cathy

     

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,104 Member
    Thank you, moli!  Sending

    Thank you, moli!  Sending HUGS your way.

  • AWK
    AWK Member Posts: 364 Member
    Moli - you are a strong woman!

    I am happy for you that you aren't leaving any doors closed while you determine what is best for you.  I think certain people are put in front of us when we need them but don't know that we do - it sounds like this new oncologist is a good guy.  I remember the conversations we have had with two different surgeons and others about why my mets are inoperable.  My main oncologist explained it the best to me; other dialogues were more for my husband and brothers.  They needed it laid out in a way that made sense for them.  

    The only, unsolicited (apologies) advice I would suggest is that you make your oncologist aware of the naturopathic doctor and their suggestions.  Frequently the two work together for an individualized approach - that would benefit you thE most and make sure one isn't doing something to negate what the other is doing.  

    Keeping you in my prayers as always.  Hugs!  Anne

     

  • Lou Ann M
    Lou Ann M Member Posts: 996
    I am so sorry

    I am so sorry you have to go through this.  I am hoping you find a treatment plan that you can be comfortable with .  It looks like you are coming up with good ideas.  We are all different, and we all need that plan that suits us best.  I could fell God's presence in each decision that we made.  He will be with you too.

    the hardest thing I had to do was to tell my 4 adult children.  They are scattered from one end of the country to,the other.  My youngest daughter was upset that I had told a few friends and collegues before her( school was starting in two weeks and I needed to tell them what was going on).  I waited a little to tell the kid because I wanted to have all the details before I told them.  I was surprised at how well the took it.  It was awesome to have their love and support through all of this.  There is nothing I couldn't ask them .  Hugs and prayers headed your,way,  Lou Ann

  • HellieC
    HellieC Member Posts: 524 Member
    So much to take in and so many decisions

    I so feel for you and what you are going through at the moment.  Trying to decide which are the best treatment options are never easy and there are so many questions - often ones that don't have clear answers!

    For what it's worth, my "take" on why they are saying that they can't operate is this.  The tumours in the pelvis are probably not touching other organs or structures, but they may be very close to them (there's not a lot of space "down below" even after the major surgeries that we all experience).  So it is possible that they do not believe that they can get good, clear margins of healthy tissue around the tumour.  If they can't get this, then there is a very, very high chance of further recurrence, which would mean you had gone through horrendous, major surgery and a long recovery only to see this evil beast pop back up again.  There is also the possibility of other mets elsewhere (although I hope and pray for you that your most recent scans shows that there aren't).  In which case, there would be no point in attacking one area, when another was also causing issues. 

    I've been there, Molimoli - further surgery is not an option for me, either.  But I am 5 years down the line from my last surgery, having been on various types of hormone therapy since then.  Chemo is always in the wings, but I am still here, leading a good quality of life.  This whole disease is like a giant game of "whack a mole" (do you have that game in the US?) where you knock one tumour down and it pops up somewhere else.  Keep whacking, is what I say!

    Hoping and praying you find the best way forward for you.

    Kindest wishes
    Helen xx

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    HellieC said:

    So much to take in and so many decisions

    I so feel for you and what you are going through at the moment.  Trying to decide which are the best treatment options are never easy and there are so many questions - often ones that don't have clear answers!

    For what it's worth, my "take" on why they are saying that they can't operate is this.  The tumours in the pelvis are probably not touching other organs or structures, but they may be very close to them (there's not a lot of space "down below" even after the major surgeries that we all experience).  So it is possible that they do not believe that they can get good, clear margins of healthy tissue around the tumour.  If they can't get this, then there is a very, very high chance of further recurrence, which would mean you had gone through horrendous, major surgery and a long recovery only to see this evil beast pop back up again.  There is also the possibility of other mets elsewhere (although I hope and pray for you that your most recent scans shows that there aren't).  In which case, there would be no point in attacking one area, when another was also causing issues. 

    I've been there, Molimoli - further surgery is not an option for me, either.  But I am 5 years down the line from my last surgery, having been on various types of hormone therapy since then.  Chemo is always in the wings, but I am still here, leading a good quality of life.  This whole disease is like a giant game of "whack a mole" (do you have that game in the US?) where you knock one tumour down and it pops up somewhere else.  Keep whacking, is what I say!

    Hoping and praying you find the best way forward for you.

    Kindest wishes
    Helen xx

    Dear God !! Clear margins never crossed my mind,not once.

    Helen words cannot express my gratitude for your brilliance ,confirmation : we all truly need each other.  I can look at things from both sides now,I needed a sensible reason for their refusal.I got none , just "Not an option'  . One oncologist did explain that there could be many others waiting to pop up.  My request was ,remove the 2 large ones that we can see and then I will agree to the chemo afterwards to mop up the stragglers.  No one mentioned the importance of clear margins and the difficulty to achieve that in that space.  and as brilliant as I fancied myself to be (go on  you all , roll your eyes and LOL as much as you want, LOL again) I never thought of that at all. They could have frightened me into chemo long ago if only they had you as a consultant on their team. I'd be almost done.

    As I read your post I could feel  port going in and  neuropathy setting  in my toes. My AHA !!! moment has come along. I am physically giving myself a protective hug, Big S_C_R_E_A_M !!!! with no sounds from this girl from La Mancha ,dreaming the impossible dream for months.

    I appreciate you for the eye opening straight forward way you brought the Clear Margin- AHA !  to me  but hate that you voiced  (ok, penned ) it and burst my protective me, against them destroying my body  bubble.. Now that I know the impossibility of that which I asked , What shall I do ?  What a way reality can whack us upside the head. Can't wait to tell my  doctors  that you saved them their eye rolling and their counting to ten, then ten again then ten again and again, I will be less suspicious, (just less ) less combative and less dictational. so they can give their poor eye balls a rest from the rolling that I sometimes catch from the corner of my suspicious eyes. Ok I feel paranoia setting in, haha ,I better just say on my and my doctors behalf I / we thank you and they really really thank you.They don't know it yet but they will.

    Seems like you have come to terms with this horrible thing ,yes enjoy life and continue to analyze, share and encourage. Nuff nuff love Helen.

     

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    Lou Ann M said:

    I am so sorry

    I am so sorry you have to go through this.  I am hoping you find a treatment plan that you can be comfortable with .  It looks like you are coming up with good ideas.  We are all different, and we all need that plan that suits us best.  I could fell God's presence in each decision that we made.  He will be with you too.

    the hardest thing I had to do was to tell my 4 adult children.  They are scattered from one end of the country to,the other.  My youngest daughter was upset that I had told a few friends and collegues before her( school was starting in two weeks and I needed to tell them what was going on).  I waited a little to tell the kid because I wanted to have all the details before I told them.  I was surprised at how well the took it.  It was awesome to have their love and support through all of this.  There is nothing I couldn't ask them .  Hugs and prayers headed your,way,  Lou Ann

    LouAnn Thanks for being out there sending blessings, appreciated

    I must get things in order  re; treatment before I go ahead and pull them into this . I am closer to this goal with good wishes and all the shoulders here to lean on.I have had an amazing wake up call from Helen's post to me ,Don't know what route I'll take but it will be fast. Lots of wasted time looking at things from one side of the fence.Thanks ,I can feel all the hugs and well wishes ,and its coming right back to you .  Nuff love. Moli.

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    AWK said:

    Moli - you are a strong woman!

    I am happy for you that you aren't leaving any doors closed while you determine what is best for you.  I think certain people are put in front of us when we need them but don't know that we do - it sounds like this new oncologist is a good guy.  I remember the conversations we have had with two different surgeons and others about why my mets are inoperable.  My main oncologist explained it the best to me; other dialogues were more for my husband and brothers.  They needed it laid out in a way that made sense for them.  

    The only, unsolicited (apologies) advice I would suggest is that you make your oncologist aware of the naturopathic doctor and their suggestions.  Frequently the two work together for an individualized approach - that would benefit you thE most and make sure one isn't doing something to negate what the other is doing.  

    Keeping you in my prayers as always.  Hugs!  Anne

     

    Anne nothing is unsolicited I need you all, My mind is open.

    Even more so today,Re Helen's post which led me to a revelation which makes perfect sense of my situation and ungoing battle with my doctors and my inner self,I now understand fully about their unspoken fears.  and if they are not fearing that then they should be because  my request smells of morbidity,really..

    Don't worry I will tell them about each other and treatment suggestions.I know how they hate to be in the dark.For my own safety I wont take the chance

    Thank you for letting me stay in your prayers as you'll stay in mine. I will focus  more  on treatment options and not dwell on surgery. Scan results are pending so we'll see where we go from here.My doctors will be happy not to hear anything about surgery, I will be meeting with a surgeon but with reservations, I had booked it before my revelation so I must go.

     Same here hugs and nuff love. Moli.

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514

    Thank you, moli!  Sending

    Thank you, moli!  Sending HUGS your way.

    Feeling the hugs.liking the comfort it brings

    I feel the hug and I thank and appreciate you, You ladies ahead of us have become our light house, almost like Captain John's  but better lit with compassion to boot,

    Cancer took me out of darkness and introduced me to a wonderful crew of light house keepers  and soul sustainers. words cannot express my feeling of belonging,Thanks you for taking the time to care.  .  hugging,  nuff love

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    Abbycat2 said:

    Sounds like a reasonable plan, moli

    I think your decision to have an MRI to assess whether there are other tumors is a wise choice.  I realize that choosing chemo is a difficult choice for you, especially at a time when you want your daughters to be unaware of your cancer diagnosis. I soon discovered during the 4 plus months that I received chemo how difficult it was to hide my treatments from others, including strangers. I had no hair on my head- eyebrows and eyelashes included and my coloring was off. Emotionally, it was difficult, but I managed to put one foot in front of the other and lived each day the best I could. Not sure why your oncologist thinks surgery is not the treatment choice for you. Could radiation be the answer? I saw a radiologist early on and he told me that radiation would not help me because I didn't have tumors.

    Whatever you decide, moli, know that I am praying for you and for your daughters, as well. 

    With a Big Hug,

    Cathy

     

    Oh Cathy the thought of chemo brings back menopausal fireballs

    From the top of my head to my big toe, and Helen's post  dragged me  kicking and screaming into UPSC university ,educated me on reasons why things won't always  actually be how I think it.

    I learnt that whack -a mole is sometimes the only game of choice, In my situation it seem to be the game  I am destined to play. I now realize that it's not if I'll play it, it's how I'll  play it. Bottom line. it's a year and  six  months since surgery with no treatment since mets were found 6 months ago.getting scarey, so must act pronto since my fight about surgery is now a none issue, common sense is prevailing.

    Thanks for your unwaivering support everytime. Yes Chemo is a hard swallow for me  but alternatives are out there, ,How and if they work well, I intend to find out.The girls  and boys are fine I was with them on Sunday,Its amazing how well I feel, No one would guess the intensity of the storm I am facing ,so sneaky, this demon.

    Thanks for the prayers and the hug is warm  ,I need and want both,

    Thank you all for calling me in from the rain and never cease to give me equiptments to weather the storm. You have all been my rock of ages. Nuff Thanks Nuff love.

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514

    Moli

    So glad to hear from you. Really appreciate the update. I sure hope the scans give you the answers you seek. And, seeing the surgeon is a great idea. One more opinion is not a bad thing.  I so want you to find the peace you need. Sending you lots of love and hugs Moli.  Love Cindi

    Cindy on good & bad days we will be with you all the while.

    Thank you Cindi, I feel the hugs ,sense the love ,it is mutual,

    As you bravely embark on your fight  I admire your strength and positive vibes that are infectious, I hope that the treatment will enhance your life and keep this terrible crap at bay,We cannot direct life's wind ,but we can always reset our sails.

    Stay positive and eat ,not because you want to but because you must. Eating is a way of biting chemo back. Awful disease , awful Chemo  Awfully brave women,

     Renewed strength everyday, plenty,plenty love, close your eyes and  imagine us there hugging you when the going gets tough. if you are claustrophobic,take a pill, we are hugging,yup.

     

    PS: When I grow up I want to be a brave warrior just like you and all my other sisters ahead of you.

     

  • HellieC
    HellieC Member Posts: 524 Member
    molimoli said:

    Dear God !! Clear margins never crossed my mind,not once.

    Helen words cannot express my gratitude for your brilliance ,confirmation : we all truly need each other.  I can look at things from both sides now,I needed a sensible reason for their refusal.I got none , just "Not an option'  . One oncologist did explain that there could be many others waiting to pop up.  My request was ,remove the 2 large ones that we can see and then I will agree to the chemo afterwards to mop up the stragglers.  No one mentioned the importance of clear margins and the difficulty to achieve that in that space.  and as brilliant as I fancied myself to be (go on  you all , roll your eyes and LOL as much as you want, LOL again) I never thought of that at all. They could have frightened me into chemo long ago if only they had you as a consultant on their team. I'd be almost done.

    As I read your post I could feel  port going in and  neuropathy setting  in my toes. My AHA !!! moment has come along. I am physically giving myself a protective hug, Big S_C_R_E_A_M !!!! with no sounds from this girl from La Mancha ,dreaming the impossible dream for months.

    I appreciate you for the eye opening straight forward way you brought the Clear Margin- AHA !  to me  but hate that you voiced  (ok, penned ) it and burst my protective me, against them destroying my body  bubble.. Now that I know the impossibility of that which I asked , What shall I do ?  What a way reality can whack us upside the head. Can't wait to tell my  doctors  that you saved them their eye rolling and their counting to ten, then ten again then ten again and again, I will be less suspicious, (just less ) less combative and less dictational. so they can give their poor eye balls a rest from the rolling that I sometimes catch from the corner of my suspicious eyes. Ok I feel paranoia setting in, haha ,I better just say on my and my doctors behalf I / we thank you and they really really thank you.They don't know it yet but they will.

    Seems like you have come to terms with this horrible thing ,yes enjoy life and continue to analyze, share and encourage. Nuff nuff love Helen.

     

    If I have helped......

    If I have helped you clarify things in your mind, Molimoli, then that's good.  But if I have frightened you or been too straight talking, then I apologise wholeheartedly.  My trouble is I have "been there" "done that" with this blessed disease and sometimes forget that others need more time and space to get to where I am!  When I was told that no more surgeries were possible, it hit me very hard - somehow I saw "cutting it out" as the only option, but once it was explained to me about clear margins (and the futility of anything less) then it was easier to look at other options.

    I'm afraid I will never come to terms with this evil business and I will continue to "whack" it however I can.  Last year, I had Cyberknife radiotherapy on my tumour.  If your latest scan shows just two areas of concern, perhaps this is something you could raise for discussion with your medical team?  It is a very targetted form of radiotherapy, which spares surrounding tissue considerably, and can sometimes be used in areas which have already had a full course of external beam radiotherapy.  Might be worth exploring as an option alongside chemo etc?

    Kindest wishes
    Helen xx

  • molimoli
    molimoli Member Posts: 514
    Kaleena said:

    Thanks for the update

    Thanks for the update Moli

    you are thoughtful and caring for the members in this board.  I hope you find the answers you need to make your decision on what to do

    i wish I could say more but I am not thinking clearly as I am tired but I wanted to respond to your post

    my best to you 

    Kathy

    I  care about us and  our well being together as a team and I feel the love and support coming to me from you all so I  out of gratitude must continually tell you and all my sisters that I without a doubt give praises to the Creator for directing my stumble into this wonderful family who in turn accepted me with all my confusion and pain, accept and or excused  my contrary opinions.without trying to make me over , Thank you for being part of the settling team Kaleena. I now must go to bed , I am a night owl. so must be sleeping by sun up..

    A blessed and wonderful day to you all,, Nuff love Moli.

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,811 Member
    molimoli said:

    Cindy on good & bad days we will be with you all the while.

    Thank you Cindi, I feel the hugs ,sense the love ,it is mutual,

    As you bravely embark on your fight  I admire your strength and positive vibes that are infectious, I hope that the treatment will enhance your life and keep this terrible crap at bay,We cannot direct life's wind ,but we can always reset our sails.

    Stay positive and eat ,not because you want to but because you must. Eating is a way of biting chemo back. Awful disease , awful Chemo  Awfully brave women,

     Renewed strength everyday, plenty,plenty love, close your eyes and  imagine us there hugging you when the going gets tough. if you are claustrophobic,take a pill, we are hugging,yup.

     

    PS: When I grow up I want to be a brave warrior just like you and all my other sisters ahead of you.

     

    Moli

    I didn't realize until your other post that you never had chemo. While it is a scary thing.... It isn't nearly as bad as we make it in our heads. Moli, no one but you can make the decision on what is best for your care. I sure hope you come to the conclusion that chemo can be your friend. (Sorry, don't mean to tell you what to do.) I am looking at this as a gift of life for myself. And, I do still have my down times but deep down in my gut, I know what I need to do for ME.  My next decision will be if I do the Brachytherapy or not. My doctor wants me to. My husband wants me to.  And, I probably will. But for now, putting it aside and staying focused on the chemo steps.

    Please take care of yourself. Glad you spent time with your kids. Lots of love your way! Cindi

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,811 Member
    HellieC said:

    If I have helped......

    If I have helped you clarify things in your mind, Molimoli, then that's good.  But if I have frightened you or been too straight talking, then I apologise wholeheartedly.  My trouble is I have "been there" "done that" with this blessed disease and sometimes forget that others need more time and space to get to where I am!  When I was told that no more surgeries were possible, it hit me very hard - somehow I saw "cutting it out" as the only option, but once it was explained to me about clear margins (and the futility of anything less) then it was easier to look at other options.

    I'm afraid I will never come to terms with this evil business and I will continue to "whack" it however I can.  Last year, I had Cyberknife radiotherapy on my tumour.  If your latest scan shows just two areas of concern, perhaps this is something you could raise for discussion with your medical team?  It is a very targetted form of radiotherapy, which spares surrounding tissue considerably, and can sometimes be used in areas which have already had a full course of external beam radiotherapy.  Might be worth exploring as an option alongside chemo etc?

    Kindest wishes
    Helen xx

    Helen

    Just speaking for myself, I can't thank you enough for your post. It was so well stated and made more sense than most of what we are told. I think our doctors could learn a lot about how to approach us if they took the time to read this board. So THANKS for the insight. Love, Cindi

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903 Member
    As I read

    this thread, I am awed and grateful for the knowledge, experience, compassion, openness of the women here.  Moli, as a newbie, I have no insight. I can only offer my hope and prayers that you find the path that is right for you and follow it.  Know that whatever that path is and wherever it goes, we will be with you, step by step.

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,626 Member
    Editgrl said:

    As I read

    this thread, I am awed and grateful for the knowledge, experience, compassion, openness of the women here.  Moli, as a newbie, I have no insight. I can only offer my hope and prayers that you find the path that is right for you and follow it.  Know that whatever that path is and wherever it goes, we will be with you, step by step.

    Helen

    Some practice should hire you as an advacate For the patients and the docs.

  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,083 Member
    molimoli said:

    Dear God !! Clear margins never crossed my mind,not once.

    Helen words cannot express my gratitude for your brilliance ,confirmation : we all truly need each other.  I can look at things from both sides now,I needed a sensible reason for their refusal.I got none , just "Not an option'  . One oncologist did explain that there could be many others waiting to pop up.  My request was ,remove the 2 large ones that we can see and then I will agree to the chemo afterwards to mop up the stragglers.  No one mentioned the importance of clear margins and the difficulty to achieve that in that space.  and as brilliant as I fancied myself to be (go on  you all , roll your eyes and LOL as much as you want, LOL again) I never thought of that at all. They could have frightened me into chemo long ago if only they had you as a consultant on their team. I'd be almost done.

    As I read your post I could feel  port going in and  neuropathy setting  in my toes. My AHA !!! moment has come along. I am physically giving myself a protective hug, Big S_C_R_E_A_M !!!! with no sounds from this girl from La Mancha ,dreaming the impossible dream for months.

    I appreciate you for the eye opening straight forward way you brought the Clear Margin- AHA !  to me  but hate that you voiced  (ok, penned ) it and burst my protective me, against them destroying my body  bubble.. Now that I know the impossibility of that which I asked , What shall I do ?  What a way reality can whack us upside the head. Can't wait to tell my  doctors  that you saved them their eye rolling and their counting to ten, then ten again then ten again and again, I will be less suspicious, (just less ) less combative and less dictational. so they can give their poor eye balls a rest from the rolling that I sometimes catch from the corner of my suspicious eyes. Ok I feel paranoia setting in, haha ,I better just say on my and my doctors behalf I / we thank you and they really really thank you.They don't know it yet but they will.

    Seems like you have come to terms with this horrible thing ,yes enjoy life and continue to analyze, share and encourage. Nuff nuff love Helen.

     

    Moli, Helen is right about

    Moli, Helen is right about those clear margins.

    However, I and if I already told you this, I am sorry, but I was told I had a recurrence and because I did not have clear margins they would not operate.  They wanted to do chemo and then try surgery.  The doc was ready to start chemo right away, but I got a second opinion.  This second doctor did a biopsy, which came back positive.   But he sent me back to the old doctor and my old radiologist.   The doctor would not do surgery and wanted to do the chemo stuff first.

    However, I went to a completely different facility that wasn't related to most of the hospitals in the area.  After carefully reviewing all of my records and reconfirming the positive biopsy, he indicated to me that yes he could do surgery and had clear margins.   He did the surgery and the mass ended up testing negative when removed but I did have a positive lymph node but did a wait and see approach.

    By the way, I have tons of scar tissue throughout my body from the 3 C-sections I had and my ultimate surgeries.   What happens is that doctors don't want to take the time to go through all that scar tissue.  With that past surgery, it took my doctor at leat 45 minutes to meticulously cut through scar tissue to get to the mass.   Some doctors don't want to do that so they say it is inoperable.

    With radiation, as I believe Helen has indicated to you, once they radiate, they cannot radiate the same area again or you will have to have the procedure that Helen had.

    Sending you hugs, Moli

    Kathy