Mom

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catcon49
catcon49 Member Posts: 398
in Ovarian Cancer #1

anyone out there that can offer any opinions I would be grateful. 83 year old mom has ovarian cancer.  It has recurred 4 times in 71/2 years. It's back she's under hospice care.  Is becoming confused and sleeping a lot . She has pnuemonia spot in lung has been on 4 antibodies in 3 months. Not eating much. Had some dehydration. Any thoughts as to a timeline. I'm trying to get a plan together for her care. But I will have limited time off of work. 

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  • debrajo
    debrajo Member Posts: 1,095 Member
    #2
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    MOM

    So sorry Dear, it is so hard!  I take care of my 89 year old mother in my home.  She is a 29 YEAR surviver of stage 2 agressive breast cancer.  I only have personal experience with relatives, but the Dr. or Hospice should be able to give you a time frame.  Just went throug this with a friend,esophgual cancer,71,beginning pnuemonia,not eating, much of what is happening with your mother.  I assume Hospice is giving her liquid morphine,seems standard and would account for the confusion, so could dehydration.  No one can tell you when, but my friend lasted three weeks.  My step dad lasted a year!  If it were me, I'd look to now to three months....JUST MY OPINION!  Everyone is different and has different strenghts.  God Bless you all, Debrajo(from the Uterine Board)

  • wholfmeister
    wholfmeister Member Posts: 315
    #3
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    Very tough situation

    I lost my mom in December, at age 93, not to cancer, but the process probably isn't too different.  She was pretty darn healthy until an agressive eye infection just swarmed her systems.  Inspite of massive antibiotics, she deteriorated over the course of about 6 weeks, with increasing confusion, weakness, sleeping more and more, and difficulty getting her to eat or take fluids.  We got hospice involved, which was very helpful.  While no one can tell us when the time will come, they can help you make a reasonable plan. 

    My suggestion is to enlist the help of all who love your mom: siblings, cousins, neighbors, friends, church folks.  Make a schedule so every person can have a special time with your mom, staying with her while you work or sleep or do other necessities.  I don't know what sort of living arrangements you have for your mom, but at this point, if you can keep her where she is, that will be the most comforting and least stressful for her.

    In the end, my mother's death was very peaceful: in her own bed, in her own little place, with my husband and I with her.  No tubes, no needles, no interfering medical people.  She just went to sleep and died without a struggle.  I feel very good about the care we gave her.  I can only hope for the same peace for you and your mom.

  • catcon49
    catcon49 Member Posts: 398
    #4
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    Hospice is involved they

    Hospice is involved they aren't giving any type of time frame.  It is just me I have 4 children who all work and have small children no one else lives close by.mom kind of stuck to her self always so no close friends. She refuses morphing ( small doses) says no pain. I think she is scared of morphing won't even discuss a living will or power of attorney. Thanks for everyone's input. 

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