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I have cancer and it sucks

Nana4life's picture
Nana4life
Posts: 78
Joined: May 2015

Hello all,

Just feeling a bit anxious and need to vent here a bit. Tomorrow I go into oncologist to find out the results of all my scans he wanted. As you know I am stage 3 chromophobe. I have so much anxiety thinking about tomorrow. Ive always though of myself as a optimistic person but since this cancer diagnosis I am NOT feeling very optimistic. It seems like the past few months all Ive heard is bad news so Im anticipating more bad news tomorrow. I want to think positive but there is always a little voice inside telling me "Hello...remember, you have cancer." 

So many of you I know understand. Thank you! Just venting!

nana4life

Shecka1121
Posts: 114
Joined: Apr 2015

Nana,

I am so sorry you have to feel this way.  It is normal and part of the process.  I will say a prayer for you tonight for peace and good results.

 

You are not alone in how you feel.

 

 

Dembel
Posts: 32
Joined: Jul 2015

Yes, cancer sucks. And I'm "only" a caregiver, so easy for me to say. But remember, the days before the appointments are by far THE WORST! So just try to think that by this time tomorrow you will anyway be a more relaxed person. We had the same last week, stress over the appointment of the next day, stressed of all the bad things that the doctors could (would!) tell us, and you know what, we ended that next day drinking champagne, not because he was suddenly cancerfree, but because the results were not half as bad as we had imagined.

Someone told me last week that worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.

I wish you some champagne tomorrow! Keep us posted!

 

 

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1937
Joined: Mar 2014

I understand 100 percent. Optimism and postitive thinking are wonderful things but easier said than done. And yes, cancer sucks. Wishing you the very best news about your scans. I'll be thinking of you.

Footstomper's picture
Footstomper
Posts: 1238
Joined: Dec 2014

So I could agree more. Its 12:10 and I've just got out out of the loo! Had scans on Tuesday. Get results next Tuesday. Not expecting the best. Still I have Doris Day to keep me warm

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

The day before is the worst. But one way or another you will receive the news and will be able to move on either way - learning to deal with it, or drinking champagne!!

We are cheering you on for the champagne version!! But we are here for you if you need support in any way.

Cheers and hugs!

Jojo

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

is that as the years go by, it is somewhat easier. Once we accept that we won't be the first to live forever, we are no different from anyone else. As we discuss surgeries and drugs we have to realize that the obits are full of people who "passed away unexpectedly" today. The big difference is that we have a strong idea of what it is that will do us in. But in most cases we get several more years to live, love, and persue happiness with our friends and family. Maybe it sounds corney but that is how I live. I'm alive. That is all that is in my bucket list. When it is time to go, I will laugh in the devils face for how hard he/she had to work to get me. Pissing the devil off makes me happy.

mrou50
Posts: 389
Joined: Mar 2013

Don't feel bad about ranting I had to rant this week too, cancer does suck there is not doubt.  Try to find the happiness in your life and focus on that if you can and let the scan take care of itself, thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

Mark

donna_lee's picture
donna_lee
Posts: 894
Joined: Feb 2009

We all know cancer sucks.  What it does to us physically, the scars, the effects of drugs/chemo for any reason, the mental anguish, the worry, the emotional roller coaster, the time spent dealing with everything, etc. etc.

It gets easier to deal with, over time, although the thoughts about it are always in your head.  And especially when the next test and set of results are near.

The big hurdle is to try not to let "cancer" interfere with living.  Each of us may be or are a spouse/parent/grandparent/relative/friend/co-worker.  I'm positive they all want what is best for you, so if it means you have to say, "Whoa, I'm tired today-or-I need to cut back on work hours-or-I'd like to have someone bring in dinner for a few days,"  they should be willing to understand.  But let them know that you are working toward getting better so you can be a part of theire lives again.

Try, hope, live.  Smile, love, laugh. Relax, play, enjoy.

Hugs to you.  And to everyone...cross your arms over your chest, grab your shoulders, and squeeze.  That's a hug from me.

Donna

todd121's picture
todd121
Posts: 1425
Joined: Dec 2012

I hope you got results by now and the results were good. Please let us know.

I understand what you're going through.

It has gotten better for me over time. I hope it will for you too. Even with my cancer progressing to Stage 4, it's still gotten better somehow as time has gone on. I really expected it to get worse if my cancer progressed, but the opposite happened. I was surprised by that.

My point only is, that your expectation about what will happen is not what will happen. If you can consider that, it might help you to let it go. I know it's difficult and easier said than done, but just think about it. When you worry about stuff before it's happened, you are letting the unknown future impinge on your precious present time. You do have a choice about worrying. It may not seem like it, but you do. Your attitude is your choice. It's my hope for you that you can figure out how to choose what you have control over in the present and let yourself relax a little about things you can't control. This is not meant as a criticism. I sincerely hope you don't take it that way. :)

Hugs,

Todd

Nana4life's picture
Nana4life
Posts: 78
Joined: May 2015

My heart is so comforted by the words of all of you. I thank each one of you for your words of encouragement. They helped me through this difficult time. 

i am happy to say for the first time "I am NED!" Plan is to scan every 3 months for two years. Then scans every 6 months. I think after the five year mark it becomes yearly. 

Now I move forward with the new me. I will never be the person I was before cancer. What was meant to destroy me is actually doing just the opposite, it's creating a new and improved me.

From the wisdom of FOX... I'm going to show the devil who's boss!!! 

Peace and an abundance of love to you all!!

 

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1937
Joined: Mar 2014

Very happy for you. Wonderful news and may you continue to be NED always.

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

We will NEVER be the same. Nana you've got things going your way. Good for you! You've got a long future.

Yeric
Posts: 65
Joined: May 2015

So glad to hear the news.  Happy Dances for everybody.

Bobby

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

Break out the champagne!!!

Congratulations!

Hugs

Jojo

Shecka1121
Posts: 114
Joined: Apr 2015

Nana, I have been thinking of you and praying for you. This is awsome and I can sense your happiness.  You will have many more years creating the new you.  

mrou50
Posts: 389
Joined: Mar 2013

Congratulations, celebrate the victory.

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