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Back home from a partial nephrectomy

fightr's picture
fightr
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2015

Just need a place to vent...I'm a lucky one, because they took out the kidney cancer yesterday through a partial nephrectomy, and I don't need chemo. I look at my 15 month old daughter so happy and playing in the hospital room, making us laugh, and it's all so surreal. 7 weeks ago I was a typical guy with a typical routine. 6 weeks ago I did a ct scan to check the prostate. 5 weeks ago I was told that my prostate was fine but I had kidney cancer. Now I"m home. Yesterday morning I checked into the hospital, and today I'm back home. I feel like my old self is gone, and now is a different me - just wondering about things, direction, life, what's important, what's not. it's just all so surreal right now...waiting for the thoughts to collect. I'm a cancer survivor. I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. 

icemantoo's picture
icemantoo
Posts: 3353
Joined: Jan 2010

fightr,

You descibe well the feelings of many of us here including myself. Not only did we not expect to be Cancer survivors, who ever even heard of kidney cancer. We are not as well known as our mainstream cancers effecting our brothers and sisters. Now that we donated that little tumor lets enjoy the gift of life.

 

 

 

Icemantoo

Allochka's picture
Allochka
Posts: 969
Joined: Nov 2014

Yoy are really a very lucky guy! You are healthy now, and if cancer was diagnosed early, chances of recurrance are very small. As for direction in life - you have a little daughter, this definitely brings a meaning in life. You should be there for her for many years to come. So celebrate being cancer free, stay diligent with check-ups but enjoy life and don't live in fear.

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1998
Joined: Mar 2014

Iceman is very right. It's not a common cancer so it was the last thing I expected out of my urologist's mouth. In fact, my immediate words were "Who the %$#@ gets kidney cancer?" Well, it turns out we all did. Yes, it changes you in some good ways and some bad. The good is the appreciation of life and the gratefulness of still being part of it. The bad is the fear that it'll return and at least for me, interpreting every little ache and pain as mets. Wishing you the best and hopefully all your followups will be clear.

fightr's picture
fightr
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2015

Thank you for your reply, Icemantoo, Allochka, and Apny. I actually decided to leave a horrible job environment to make life better. It's time for some changes.

Since I got the news I've been so paranoid about everything around me trying to figure out if anything caused it or if anything is feeding it, like sugar. The first thing I did after they took it out was eat the 2 cookies on the tray at the hospital. That was a nice feeling to know it won't go into my body and feed the cancer.

 

I'm also worried about recurrrence, but am putting a spreadsheet together to lay out all the dates for future scans, and try to forget about it all in between. We have to embrace life, appreciate what we have, and don't let this thing interfere with us mentally. I'm still in shock, but working on it. 

Positive_Mental_Attitude's picture
Positive_Mental...
Posts: 454
Joined: Jul 2014

Your thought process sounds like mine.  After my diagnosis and surgery last summer, I took stock of everything in my life.  I celebrate 25 wonderful years of marriage in 2 weeks.  I have two fantastic sons, 14 and 11 years old.  I own my own business, and I was working like a maniac prior to surgery.  I have pushed back on work, but I am still working harder than I want to or need to.   Some changes at a couple of major clients may change that for me.  Years ago, I would have been freaked out at the loss of business.  Now--I don't give a flying you know what.  I'm putting the most time possible into living life--with the family, coaching my sons' teams, fishing, and doing nothing as much as possible.  Cleaned up my diet and cutting my weight to a reasonable level.  Life is good and getting better.

Footstomper's picture
Footstomper
Posts: 1238
Joined: Dec 2014

Its the sort of thing that doesnt happen to us: until it does. You didnt say how big the tumour was, but once it stops being unreal, you'll be glad you got rid of it.

fightr's picture
fightr
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2015

Hello Footstomper, thank you for writing. The tumer was 2.4 cm, half inside and half outside the kidney. 

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1327
Joined: Oct 2013

Glad to hear you are on your road to recovery. Sorry you had this scare and life changing event. But did you ever think of how it affects you now in a more positive way? gulp, what? LOL

Perhaps, post RCC surgery, we all examine more closely our lifestyle, gain more appreciation of what matters and what we can let go of.. things like that.

Our priorities may be changing in a good way.

Again, the "c" word=continues to teach. and reinforce us with such appreciation for LIFE and LIVING!!

Now go hug that precious child, your wife and other loved ones. AND be good to yourself!

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Let us know how you are doing ok?

Warmly, Jan

Footstomper's picture
Footstomper
Posts: 1238
Joined: Dec 2014

Its a littlun!

Strange to say when talking about cancer but thats really good news. I know it wouldve been better news not to have cancer but, that aside, its as good as it gets. You'll soon be back to normal. Jans right it does give one a new appreciation of life. I dont know about you but I was astounded, after we all got over the initial shock how many people I knew appeared affering me love and support. People are great and life is good. The trick now is to not let the lump take over your life.

Good luck on your journey

Mav1969a's picture
Mav1969a
Posts: 22
Joined: Apr 2015

HelIo fightr!

Good onya mate!

I was also lucky like you.  My tumor was found by a CT study looking for something else.  Partial nephro... and we're done, ...save for the follow up CT's.

Without the slings and arrows of chemo or radiation, it feels a little weird wearing the mantle of "cancer survivor".  But, wear it we shall.  My HS football coach always said, he'd take a lucky player any day over a good player.  

My goal now, ... now that even the physical evidence of my surgery is begrinning to fade into oblivion, is to translate my "luck" into continued support for the team.

God bless you my brother.

 

Mav

aamdsi
Posts: 284
Joined: Apr 2014

Been a year and a half now after my partial and I have just been able to say, "I am a survior". 

It does change you, there is no doubt about that.  But as the scar fades over time...so does the "fear" - but slower.  It will always be there, but not so prominent.

You have that beautiful little daughter to live for. Now that the surgery is over... you will be there for her!

 

fightr's picture
fightr
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2015

Thank you all so much for your support and understanding. Each of your comments expresses my feelings and thoughts. Yesterday we had wonderful weather, so we set up the table and chairs outside to have dinner. I worked so hard my whole life. Now it's time to slow down and give more time to family and friends - take advantage of the days we are all healthy and comfortable. You're all wonderful people, and I wish you all the best in life.

Nana4life's picture
Nana4life
Posts: 78
Joined: May 2015

Your words bring me hope. I am scheduled for my partial nephrectomy on Monday June 8. i have so many fears that I didnt get it in time. (Actually I may not have since no one told me I had this 8 years ago during an emergency gallbladder removal).

I can not wait to get it out.  Thank you for sharing. I have 3 grandsons and one on the way. The waiting is so difficult. 

Lots and lots of love to you and your sweet family. Enjoy!! 

HH431
Posts: 41
Joined: May 2015

Good news.

My partial Neph is scheduled for June 14th.  4.2 CM mass.

RMolinaro414's picture
RMolinaro414
Posts: 43
Joined: Sep 2014

Isn't it amazing how you examine your life after getting RCC. I feel you and I are very similar in that regard. We no longer take anything for granted. I look at my family in a whole new light. Small things my 3 yr old son does that at one time annoyed me, I now fully embrace. I learned to step and really focus on my son and my baby girl. Taking in every moment. Wishing you a speedy recovery!

fightr's picture
fightr
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2015

Thank you so much for hearing my story and for your kind words. You're right about it taking this moment to refocus and reprioritize what's important, such as our children. The hardest part of this recovery is not being able to pick up my daughter and run around with her up on my shoulders. She loves that so much. I'll give that up for a few weeks in order to be with her for many more years. I'll make it up to her as soon as possible. 

RMolinaro414's picture
RMolinaro414
Posts: 43
Joined: Sep 2014

My daughter was only 2mths at the time of my total nep and I made the mistake of picking her up wayyyyy too early. Paying the price for that daily. I couldn't help myself. I had my surgery on my right side and carried on my right. Yikes! Your daughter will be thrilled to have her Daddy back to full swing in a couple of weeks. Continued healing for you my friend. Good luck!

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