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Feeling allot of guilt

nato
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2015

My mother passed away about 8 days ago , she had a form of stomich lining cancer. I am 22 years old. The ordeal started last year March when my mother complained that she was struggling to eat, after numerous scans which were inconclusive her doctor told her that it must be in her a head, I assumed this must be the case. In November my mother was obstinant that something was wrong and booked herself into hospital. After a procedure which involved cutting a slit in the stomich and using a camera to look inside( I'm sorry i do not know the procedures name) she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I feel an imense amount of guilt over her death, guilt for not taking her pain more seriously in the begninning, Has anyone been through anything similar?

nato
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2015

P.S. Sorry for my horrendous English , it is not my first language.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

You have no reason to feel guilty. You did the best you could at the time. That is the best any of us can do. You are not a doctor. Of course you believed the doctors. Sadly, they didn't find the cancer until it was too late. That is not on you. Feelings of guilt often accompany grief. We need to find someone to blame for our loss, and too often blame ourselves. Take care of yourself now. Your mother loved you, and I'm willing to bet that she didn't blame you. I am so sorry you lost her. Take time to grieve. life and death are often not fair. You are not in charge of that. Neither are you guilty for it. Fay

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